Basically, the only shoes that come in my size are stripper shoes. Which I don't entirely mind, cause it means that if I fail out of school, I can always get a boob job and some of those shoes and launch a career. Also, stripper shoes are really entertaining:



When the other strippers turn an ankle in their giant boots or a fat john has a heart attack, you can nurse them!




These are nothing if not direct. Also, I'm not sure if these are the same way, but another pair I saw had cutouts in the middle of the dollar sign so guys could stuff money in there.




Wouldn't it be awesome if there were some little kids playing around in the shoes? Or maybe some guys who'd been too forward and been shrunken and trapped in the shoe for ETERNITY?




Cause why look at a real naked girl when you can look at a tiny green silhouette of one?



These aren't stripper shoes, but they're made by the same company. And they make my skin crawl.