I'm using hypnosis to make you think you see this shirt.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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In case of emergency, this t-shirt doubles as a flotation device.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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[on a pink shirt] Pink is the new manly.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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I know how to use star power when playing guitar.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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This shirt is charged with wit.* *Batteries not included.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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Zombies just need to get a life.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
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There are plenty of fish in the sea, and most are good for sushi.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
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Fiction writers just need to get real.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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If life is a dream, where are all the monsters that chase me?
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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I rent space in my head to the voices.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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You can't buy happiness, but we just got a new shipment of joy.
of 31 votes, 45% like it
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Misery loves company. Misery also throws great parties.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Let's do the robot like it's 2020.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
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I was told to be nice to you.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
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We direct our own paths. Take that, Mapquest!
of 27 votes, 37% like it
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Video killed the Radio Star and was arrested shortly thereafter.
of 21 votes, 43% like it
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Don't worry: I may not be a doctor, but I watch House.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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If life is but a dream, could you wake me up please?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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Faulty Statistics: Misleading People 4/3 of the Time.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
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Agoraphobics, unite! Once we find a way around leaving the house.
of 36 votes, 8% like it
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Sometimes I use words in sentences that INDUBITABLY don't fit.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
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Hi. I'm a serial killer.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
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Sticks and stones may break my bones. Now I'm in Intensive Care.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
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Don't blame me. Determinism made me do it.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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I'm so adjective that I verb your noun.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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Come back to me when you're interesting.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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Stop calling me OCD. Stop calling me OCD. Stop calling me OCD.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
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Hi. My name is Sanity. Have we met?
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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In Case of Emergeny: Run in Little Circles
of 46 votes, 22% like it
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Homo sapiens are people too.
of 44 votes, 23% like it
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Don't give up. Just don't try.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
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I'm laughing at you internally.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
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I obey the voices.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
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Let's be awkward together.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
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If I save the whales, what's in it for me?
of 33 votes, 27% like it
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30% Cotton. 70% Awesome.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
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Curiosity killed the cat and got 25 to life for animal cruelty.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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Define Normal.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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I can't save Pluto, the ozone, AND the rainforest!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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I'm sorry. Am I being sarcastic again?
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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Gnomes are people too.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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