Dear Sir/Madam,

I spend a lot of time in my car. This does not usually present a problem because I have ample playlists, a hands-free blue tooth, and the occasional Cliff bar. I would go so far as to say that I rather enjoy the time that I spend driving around L.A.; that is, of course, until I get behind you and your ridiculous personalized license plate.

It is not enough for you to simply drive around in the vehicle you have chosen. No, you must proclaim to the world that you are Special in some way because you've managed to be witty in seven words or less. But the truth is you are not. YOU are neither Special nor Witty; You are a narcissist.

No one cares if you're BZT2GRN, or that you think your car is TIZZITE, or that you think you're so incredibly awesome that you must instruct everyone to PLZHATE (and believe me, I do). And the real bitch of it is, you think that you are somehow different from everyone else. Well I have news for you, You are not a unique snowflake. You are tool, just like all the other drivers who rock a vanity plate. So here's to you and your fanatical egotism, Congrats!

Sincerely,

One Superbly Irritated Citizen