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a4r0n
a4r0n aka Aaron is a 27.56 year old boy, has been a member since December 24, 2004, has scored 6,058 submissions, giving an average score of 2.24, helping 80 designs get printed.
URL: http://www.aaronkeigher.blogspot.com
AIM: th3gr34ta4r0n
[redesign] I heart breakdancing (take a look please)
I did a redesign of my submission... and I think I like this better, can I get some feedback, this is still a work in progress and I shouldn't have submitted the other one so soon, I got overly excited.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I think the 'I' might need to be a little bigger, and I didn't change the figure at all, I also like him not having a face.

So let me know, and thanks for all the help!

[EDIT'v.2&3]
I updated the image with some of suggestions...

I am reworking it again so we have
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

then there is also a slight redesign to the first one...
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I like this the best but I might change the skin tone...

a4r0n
a4r0n on Nov 16 '06 at 11:09am
I guess this is a bump, can I please get some feedback?
Pobodys Nerfect
Pobodys Nerfect on Nov 16 '06 at 11:11am
i really like this
Papaprime
   Papaprime on Nov 16 '06 at 11:19am
I think it DOES convey the message better, but the style of the heart and the "I" don't match the breakdancer illo.



maybe try some tagger art style lettering and pictography... legible tagger art that is.
Monkey II
   Monkey II on Nov 16 '06 at 11:20am
great job
a4r0n
a4r0n on Nov 16 '06 at 1:55pm
Update/bump



I redid the image again... let me know what you think!
mezo
   mezo on Nov 16 '06 at 1:59pm
Far too many different styles in the last update: scripted handwritten font with a chalky heart, and your graphic figure. He is really weird, too. If you want him simplified with no face, then why are there so many tiny details in his pants and shoes? Also, his skin coloring looks like he was exposed to radiation.
a4r0n
a4r0n on Nov 16 '06 at 2:20pm
I figured the solid heart was too much, but I might do back to it now. And the random details are what I like about it, I had a version with a face, and I just didn't like it *shrugs* would it be better with a solid heart?
Papaprime
   Papaprime on Nov 16 '06 at 2:25pm
I'd say make a heart with just an outline mimicking the style of the font, lose the word "dancing" and place all 3 alongside eachother horizontally.
a4r0n
a4r0n on Nov 16 '06 at 2:31pm
interesting, so a graffiti heart outline? I guess that could work...
a4r0n
a4r0n on Nov 17 '06 at 6:31pm
something please?
starr226
   starr226 on Nov 17 '06 at 7:06pm
mezo's right about the conflict in the image - it stinks of google vector, but stylistically you have to make a decision there. I think the I HEART BREAKDANCER is the way to go. For threadless, especially, you don't want to stylize something that you're mocking as a cliche I'd also suggest using a different font for the "I" there. Don't pretty it up, just make your point, or pretty it up completely. Also in that arangement you have everything, literally, leaning to the right - you need to adjust that.



you may like that last one best, but you realize that it says "I breakdance breakdancing" - which is...well...ridiculous.
starr226
   starr226 on Nov 17 '06 at 7:07pm
well, redundant at least
FRICKINAWESOME
   FRICKINAWESOME on Nov 17 '06 at 7:12pm
I think you're really onto seomthing with the last design of the breakdancer in place of the heart (even though i''ve kinda seen that concept done to death on this and other shirt sites lately...but I would LOVE that shirt, but with the words in a more graffitti style, with big swooshes and multi-colors forming the words, kinda in the style of subway 80's grafitti in New York. It wold be a total keeper then. That's my fifteen cents.
jessifuzaki
jessifuzaki on Nov 17 '06 at 7:46pm
The drawing of the dancer is really good, but the text is really throwing me off. I think there needs to be more with the theme, but no text.
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I am originally from lovely Santa Cruz, California, but I currently reside in Tokyo...