My day was going great thanks. Then you showed up. Way to go
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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Bet you'd let me watch you in your sleep if I sparkled in the sun
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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I keep my good twin locked in the attic
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Take my advice. I sure as hell won't use it
of 26 votes, 31% like it
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If we're ever chased by zombies, I'm tripping your ass up. Sorry
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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If life gives you lemons, make super lemons!
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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The butler did it...
of 29 votes, 21% like it
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Well, maybe that's just a failiure of imagination on your part...
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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I may forget, but I SHALL NOT forgive. Damn amnesia...
of 28 votes, 4% like it
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This IS me smiling...
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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This is the T-shirt of DOOM! Thank you. Carry on...
of 28 votes, 14% like it
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Some call it stalking. I call it love!
of 28 votes, 11% like it
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Don't fall down stairs. You'll just make a big mess at the bottom
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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Defenestration. My after drug...
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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If you believe practice makes perfect, don't try sky-diving.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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I'm the evil twin...
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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Wow! That's great! Want a cookie?
of 28 votes, 18% like it
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Sorry. I don't speak idiocy.
of 28 votes, 4% like it
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Oh, keep talking. I'll just pretend to keep listening.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
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Yes. I have tried to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom...
of 28 votes, 18% like it
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I was having such a good day. Then I woke up...
of 28 votes, 18% like it
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Argh! Wet stuff's falling from the sky!!!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
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Don't make me set my winged monkeys on you!
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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Money isn't the root of all evil. Apple is...
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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