In the 4th dimension they have holo-days
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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On the 13th day of Christmas I had Partridge with Pear Sauce
of 28 votes, 46% like it
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Christmas: Proving Pine Scent Isn't Just For Toilets
of 30 votes, 33% like it
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The Idea Of A Man Sneaking Into My House At Xmas Is Not Jolly
of 32 votes, 34% like it
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Rudolph Never Understood Why He Couldn't Be A Ninja
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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I'd Be Fat Too If I Only Worked One Day A Year
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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Santa works as a barber on his days off
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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It's true: All exotic meat tastes like chicken.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Christmas: Making 364 days of unemployment worthwhile
of 28 votes, 39% like it
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On the 13th day of Christmas I found myself in debt
of 31 votes, 35% like it
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Elves do all my Christmas shopping
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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I used to be a wall flower until I grew out of it.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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I let the sun go down on me and got hot under the collar
of 36 votes, 33% like it
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Getting boo-ze and sheet-faced is not just for ghosts
of 28 votes, 50% like it
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Pizza is just gourmet toast.
of 42 votes, 67% like it
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I was scared of the boogieman until i found TISSUES
of 37 votes, 35% like it
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Being Un-Dead is the Best Thing About Being Alive
of 25 votes, 52% like it
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Roger was not so jolly after being skinned and sewn to a flag...
of 29 votes, 38% like it
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Haunting is a dead end job
of 43 votes, 63% like it
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And then it dawned upon me: I should get some sleep.
of 45 votes, 62% like it
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Mutant teenagers sounds scary enough...
of 44 votes, 41% like it
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Pac-Man: The Original Ghost Buster
of 56 votes, 70% like it
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Fondue Parties Are Just Cheesy
of 42 votes, 48% like it
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Scratch 'n' Sniff Stickers: Just Say No.
of 36 votes, 31% like it
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Parachute pants: 80s style meets life saving device
of 36 votes, 56% like it
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When I was young we used to walk exaggerated distances to school
of 47 votes, 60% like it
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I lost the spring in my step when slinky's went out of fashion
of 38 votes, 45% like it
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I learnt all my self defense moves from watching Home Alone
of 39 votes, 49% like it
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8 out of 9 cats agree curiosity is deadly
of 60 votes, 58% like it
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I've got a bad case of smiling. I think it might be contagious...
of 38 votes, 45% like it
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Master in Insult Sword fighting
of 41 votes, 39% like it
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Real monsters own a truck.
of 40 votes, 38% like it
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Meditation is as easy as drawing a blank
of 47 votes, 47% like it
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I'm head shoulders knees and toes above the rest
of 45 votes, 40% like it
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The best equations involve multiplication and pie
of 50 votes, 52% like it
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I learnt my ABCs at LMNtary school
of 45 votes, 44% like it
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Pencils inspire me 2B
of 45 votes, 44% like it
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I didn't mind school. It was just the principal of the thing.
of 42 votes, 50% like it
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I gave my poetry teacher an orange
of 48 votes, 46% like it
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Encyclopedias speak in volumes
of 43 votes, 47% like it
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Skipping class is all about learning the ropes
of 34 votes, 32% like it
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Be one with the Earth. Soil yourself.
of 46 votes, 72% like it
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I'm so grounded, I'm dirty
of 31 votes, 48% like it
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Monkeying around is fun until someone steps on a banana peel
of 35 votes, 57% like it
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Change makes me happy but it jingles when I walk.
of 53 votes, 64% like it
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I wish I could block people in real life too
of 50 votes, 44% like it
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Positive Thoughts are Just Electrons Brainstorming
of 37 votes, 38% like it
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I know the truth behind Mario's shroom addiction
of 39 votes, 49% like it
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My Bed Bugs are Demanding Better Working Conditions
of 44 votes, 34% like it
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Walking lawsuit
of 33 votes, 42% like it
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I shower people with kindness but i find the nudity puts them off
of 47 votes, 47% like it
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I traded in my golden goose for one that lays chocolate eggs
of 54 votes, 67% like it
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Some dragons just want to be friends
of 50 votes, 58% like it
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Carbon-based life form seeks compatible partner for bonding
of 56 votes, 45% like it
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Dear Tooth Fairy, I swear I didn't use the pliers this time.
of 53 votes, 60% like it
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Flying monkeys do all my household chores
of 51 votes, 45% like it
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I followed the red brick road and was attacked by munchkins
of 47 votes, 36% like it
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If the shoe fits, you must be a fairy tale princess
of 48 votes, 54% like it
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All the King's horses and all the King's men had scrambled eggs
of 57 votes, 53% like it
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Kiss me. I'm a frog crying out for help!
of 41 votes, 29% like it
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Fairy tales perpetuate violence against the elderly
of 46 votes, 61% like it
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Fashionable by accident
of 49 votes, 37% like it
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Night Owl Preservation Society: Because We Give A Hoot
of 49 votes, 43% like it
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Time Travel is Easy When Flying Between Time Zones
of 43 votes, 56% like it
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I suntan at night to avoid getting burnt
of 47 votes, 53% like it
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Chemistry rule #1: Never lick the spoon
of 53 votes, 77% like it
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Pterodactyl: the original early bird
of 51 votes, 63% like it
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I eat dead things because they don't fight back.
of 44 votes, 52% like it
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My quiet exterior is a front; hiding my wild cannibalistic nature
of 40 votes, 40% like it
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My quiet exterior is a front for my wild sexual nature
of 39 votes, 44% like it
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Commitment starts with admission and ends with a strait jacket
of 47 votes, 40% like it
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Mining clouds has given my pockets a silver lining
of 48 votes, 58% like it
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If you come to a fork in the road, consider the knife and spoon.
of 45 votes, 44% like it
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I dot the t's and cross the i's. It keeps people guessing.
of 63 votes, 68% like it
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When vampires get angry, would they be at each others throats?
of 47 votes, 45% like it
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My rubber duckie has a morbid fear of water
of 45 votes, 58% like it
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I was sexually transmitted
of 45 votes, 49% like it
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Some see things in black and white. I see things in halftone.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
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4 out of 5 monsters agree: vibrators under the bed are scary.
of 45 votes, 51% like it
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I used to judge myself. Now I just judge others.
of 46 votes, 43% like it
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H20: I'd tap that
of 58 votes, 81% like it
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Home is where the @ is
of 46 votes, 48% like it
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I tilt my head sideways to smile :)
of 45 votes, 47% like it
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Preserve native wildlife: Pickle a koala today
of 45 votes, 56% like it
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I've lived on Earth all my life
of 50 votes, 54% like it
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Playing in the street may result in a run-down feeling
of 41 votes, 51% like it
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In times of trouble, I can always count on my fingers
of 57 votes, 75% like it
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Sundae school. Because Jesus loves ice cream as much as you do.
of 50 votes, 42% like it
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Edam: the only cheese that's made backwards
of 48 votes, 54% like it
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Life: It's Choose Your Own Adventure Without Page Numbers
of 56 votes, 70% like it
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Are you sure the snake in Eden wasn't offering chocolate?
of 44 votes, 45% like it
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Vampyric pencils draw blood
of 43 votes, 47% like it
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My moral compass points due the right thing
of 39 votes, 41% like it
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Once upon a time there was a stereotypical tale of boy meets girl
of 33 votes, 64% like it
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Big game hunting always puts me in the mood for chocolate moose
of 41 votes, 39% like it
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Z is N when he's drunk
of 41 votes, 73% like it
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Originality is well disguised plagiarism
of 48 votes, 52% like it
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x: the great unknown
of 40 votes, 43% like it
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Kelp: how seaweed cries for help
of 50 votes, 52% like it
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Hell. Just one damned thing after another.
of 53 votes, 42% like it
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I am at one with my duality
of 50 votes, 72% like it
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I haven't been able to wear red since watching Star Trek
of 48 votes, 42% like it
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Stop marine cruelty. Say no to battered fish
of 61 votes, 62% like it
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Aliens: Moo means No
of 51 votes, 55% like it
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I travel around the Sun once a year
of 59 votes, 75% like it
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Space tea tastes better on flying saucers
of 41 votes, 49% like it
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Meteorwrongs: when meteorites miss
of 51 votes, 63% like it
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Go green, and occasionally Purple and Orange
of 51 votes, 59% like it
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I'd go green, but red might feel left out.
of 39 votes, 49% like it
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Being a pirate was more fun when we used swords
of 41 votes, 44% like it
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Microwaves are capable of hot quickies.
of 32 votes, 41% like it
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Acting crazy means i get the best seats on public transport
of 54 votes, 80% like it
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Been there. Done that. -God
of 33 votes, 36% like it
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Stress is the glue that holds me together
of 38 votes, 63% like it
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Love Yourself. Just Not In Public.
of 59 votes, 71% like it
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Sometimes i cover myself in honey just for the buzz
of 45 votes, 40% like it
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I took the road less travelled and i was mugged
of 60 votes, 73% like it
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Tyrannosaurus may rule, but Thesaurus rules the Word
of 51 votes, 43% like it
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Jack and Jill sure were thirsty
of 43 votes, 47% like it
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My Jekyll has nothing to Hyde
of 47 votes, 55% like it
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If life gives you llamas, make llamanade
of 68 votes, 60% like it
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I run with scissors... and sometimes rock or paper
of 47 votes, 57% like it
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I walk under ladders just to test the theory
of 46 votes, 54% like it
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Bubblewrap keeps me sane
of 51 votes, 59% like it
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I bite the heads off gummi bears
of 49 votes, 57% like it
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I've been seduced to the Dark Side of chocolate
of 46 votes, 46% like it
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Words never hurt- Tell that to HangMan
of 48 votes, 50% like it
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Using more words than necessary is highly superfluous
of 49 votes, 45% like it
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Avoid Avid Alliteration. Always.
of 52 votes, 46% like it
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Bananas make the best guns
of 17 votes, 35% like it
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Time is money. Overtime is more money.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
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The fingers are willing, but the thumb is opposed
of 63 votes, 75% like it
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The grass is greener when you leave the sprinklers on
of 48 votes, 48% like it
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Mistaking salt for sugar really is a recipe for disaster
of 46 votes, 48% like it
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I used to tap dance until I fell into the sink
of 44 votes, 66% like it
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You can push the envelope, but it'll still be stationery
of 53 votes, 77% like it
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I Like Punctuation. Period.
of 48 votes, 46% like it
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Do cubists ever suffer mental blocks?
of 45 votes, 40% like it
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i'd reinvent the wheel, but it'd cause a revolution
of 45 votes, 44% like it
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If Pigs Could Fly, Would Bacon Prices Go Up?
of 54 votes, 54% like it
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Can't a chicken cross the road without it's motive questioned?
of 54 votes, 72% like it
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Research shows unreferenced statements are more believable
of 57 votes, 63% like it
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People support generalizations
of 42 votes, 43% like it
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I'd bite a mosquito just to see it itch
of 29 votes, 31% like it
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Attempting to top the Darwin Awards
of 43 votes, 35% like it
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Piggy does all my banking
of 47 votes, 40% like it
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Some call it stealing. I call it permanently borrowing...
of 52 votes, 42% like it
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i'm out of my mind. please feel free to leave me a message
of 47 votes, 47% like it
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Guantanamo Bay- misleading holiday destination
of 41 votes, 37% like it
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...and then i was attacked by a giant squid!
of 33 votes, 39% like it
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Plagiarism: great minds think alike
of 51 votes, 67% like it
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Grabbing it by the horns may result in injury
of 42 votes, 43% like it
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Take a bite out of life. Become a vampire today!
of 41 votes, 39% like it
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Modern inventions do not compare to sliced bread!
of 34 votes, 50% like it
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Schrödinger's cat: the first quantum zombie
of 43 votes, 40% like it
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I perform thought-control via intentional vagueness
of 39 votes, 38% like it
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i know who stole the cookie from the cookie jar
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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when i have scary nightmares, i ask for the horse whisperer
of 27 votes, 30% like it
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plagiarism- the greatest form of flattery since stealing
of 40 votes, 55% like it
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i sit on the fence and watch the sheep jump from side to side
of 33 votes, 36% like it
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ask me about my extreme phobia of strangers
of 36 votes, 47% like it
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this t-shirt makes me invisible to strangers
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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my heart will go on- preserved in a jar
of 35 votes, 31% like it
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I graze where the grass is greener
of 31 votes, 42% like it
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Real bears go commando
of 34 votes, 41% like it
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gingerbread men: cookie cannibalism
of 38 votes, 42% like it
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teddy made me do it (on a kids t-shirt)
of 41 votes, 37% like it
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Extinct animals are cool!
of 53 votes, 36% like it
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i don't care what you did last summer
of 56 votes, 45% like it
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isn't selling seashells from the seashore illegal?
of 56 votes, 41% like it
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ghosts are people too; they're just dead
of 60 votes, 45% like it
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fun run is an oxymoron
of 43 votes, 40% like it
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man cannot live by bread alone. he needs cheese too.
of 42 votes, 40% like it
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Paper cuts- when trees strike back
of 56 votes, 64% like it
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...and in the dark dark room there was- a light switch
of 38 votes, 29% like it
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QWERTY, because ABC doesn't make sense
of 46 votes, 43% like it
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PacMan - the only video game about pill-popping and electronica
of 42 votes, 50% like it
|
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at night, coffee dreams of being chocolate
of 41 votes, 49% like it
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a bed of roses could prove painful
of 48 votes, 60% like it
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sometimes i wear sheep's clothing
of 41 votes, 41% like it
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i should never have put that lime with the coconut...
of 36 votes, 33% like it
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Walking on Sunshine will probably burn your feet
of 43 votes, 56% like it
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I often explore dungeons for money
of 29 votes, 55% like it
|
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Paper cuts- nature's way at getting back at you
of 57 votes, 58% like it
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if you're not sure you're dreaming, try to fly
of 45 votes, 44% like it
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