After tonight i have seen "BatMan: The Dark Knight" twice. When i was headed into the theater tonight i knew what was going to happen. I knew every twist and turn in the film and i went back to enjoy it in all of its twisted glory for a second time. If the night had gone as it should have...im sure i would have done just that.

There where roughly 7 teenagers in the front and to the left and 1 woman behind me who were all hell bent on ruining a perfectly good, movie-going experience for your humble blogger. For the sake of my wrists (and my bed time) lets leave the woman behind me out of this one. She was an idiot...it wasn't her fault.

Lets turn our attention now to the children in the front and to the left. Once again, for the sake of "easy identification" lets call them..."the motherfuckers" or simply "the MFs". I have a few questions id like to pose to the MFs if i may.

1. Why go to a movie if you are going to try to impress girls by talking and being rude? Why not just turn the lights off in your asbestos filled basements and jabber away there? I AM POSITIVE your parents wont care because they obviously didnt take the time to teach you any manors in the first place. What right would they have to be upset with you?

2. Why waste $15 of your parent's money? ($10 for the ticket itself and at least $5 in gas to pick you up) This money could be more constructivly spent in 2 ways:
a. To save up for a school that may some day teach you to read. thereby enabling you to decode the funny shapes on the screen BEFORE the moviewhich state "Do not Speak"
b. to feed your father's nasty prostitution habit.
(Option B is just my speculation...but i have a funny feeling)

3. Everytime i hear you speak i get angry. When i get angry i piss in peoples beds...i could give you a list of people's numbers to call who will back me up on this one. Why would you wish a "Soppy Slumber" upon you and your loved ones?

And the most important question of the night...

4. DO YOU REALIZE THAT THE LIGHTS GO BACK ON AFTER THE FUCKING MOVIE?
You MUST! Please tell me you are not that stupid. What happens now is, EVERYONE who has been thinking up different and undoubtedly creative ways to cause you pain for the past 2.5 hours can now see EXACTLY what you look like.

You dumb MotherFuckers.


welp...i feel better. See you at the bars this weekend...oh wait...you're fucking 13.