This is not a victory lap. I was really this far behind.
of 101 votes, 73% like it
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I play board games to break the monopoly.
of 109 votes, 72% like it
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If we separate whites and colors, the haters win.
of 99 votes, 70% like it
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TAKE A STAND. But please return it when you are finished.
of 106 votes, 65% like it
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I don't hold a grudge. I throw it like a deadly spear.
of 154 votes, 80% like it
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Strangers are just friends we would rather not speak to.
of 125 votes, 69% like it
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Abbreviation is a long word. Long is a short word. Discuss.
of 147 votes, 73% like it
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My art is so profound, even I don't understand it.
of 132 votes, 67% like it
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Note To Self: Stop writing on shirts.
of 126 votes, 63% like it
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Nothing starts with N.
of 145 votes, 67% like it
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Fads aren't what they used to be.
of 132 votes, 64% like it
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Dear History: We heard you the first time.
of 156 votes, 72% like it
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I have an open door policy. Also, I can't find my stereo.
of 163 votes, 70% like it
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If I am napping, the President is in danger.
of 139 votes, 53% like it
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It's a good thing I learned cursive. I'll need it when I'm older.
of 128 votes, 59% like it
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I suspect kickboxing was originally just called cheating.
of 163 votes, 64% like it
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Dear Monsters: Per our negotiations, find a turkey under my bed.
of 127 votes, 59% like it
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Once the gloves come off, that means I'm done baking.
of 143 votes, 66% like it
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A good ruler should be firm and fair. Preferably wooden.
of 173 votes, 68% like it
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Axe me about annoying pronunciation issues.
of 89 votes, 57% like it
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Family comes first. But nothing comes before aardvark.
of 168 votes, 68% like it
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Nobody gets nostalgic anymore.
of 94 votes, 57% like it
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Dear God: I asked for SUPER VISION. Apparently, I was unclear.
of 157 votes, 67% like it
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Angel or not, there is hair in my pasta.
of 186 votes, 54% like it
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I found God; now I get to hide.
of 146 votes, 64% like it
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Bears don't eat porridge; they eat nosy little girls.
of 188 votes, 61% like it
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Careful, I learned martial arts from a rat in a bath robe.
of 212 votes, 64% like it
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I hope inflammable means what I think it means.
of 176 votes, 52% like it
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The road less traveled by is littered with lost poets.
of 215 votes, 57% like it
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Slow children should not be playing near the road.
of 223 votes, 59% like it
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Friends actually let friends do lots of stupid things.
of 259 votes, 72% like it
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