Rectangles are too hip to be square.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
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A rose by any other name would be improperly classified.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
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I'm marinating in my creative juices.
of 28 votes, 46% like it
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Occam's Razor is terrible for shaving.
of 29 votes, 45% like it
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The TV told me that brainwashing is wrong.
of 20 votes, 55% like it
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I don't talk to myself, It is a monologue.
of 20 votes, 50% like it
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Sanity is slowly driving me crazy.
of 23 votes, 61% like it
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The Alvin Parson Project.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
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I got my degree in business from Monopoly.
of 39 votes, 54% like it
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Asteroids were the first Rock Stars.
of 36 votes, 44% like it
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Work: crushing dreams one deadline at a time.
of 47 votes, 47% like it
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Amnesia: Even if you have it, you won't remember.
of 54 votes, 59% like it
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War is never the answer, except sometimes on History tests.
of 65 votes, 74% like it
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Puppies: Nature's Anti-Depressant.
of 47 votes, 53% like it
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A spoonful of sugar does not help the insulin go down.
of 50 votes, 60% like it
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Goths Are Proof that the Dark Ages are Making a Comeback.
of 44 votes, 43% like it
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16 and 25 Agree, It is Hip to be Square.
of 46 votes, 59% like it
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Pegasus: The Original Hybrid.
of 44 votes, 64% like it
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Simon Says is Mind Control in Disguise
of 47 votes, 47% like it
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Yelling: It's the next best thing to being right.
of 60 votes, 55% like it
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Real life has the best special effects.
of 46 votes, 52% like it
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No man is an Island, but some men are Peninsulas
of 45 votes, 44% like it
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My favorite color is invisible to the human eye.
of 45 votes, 49% like it
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Mimes always win Silent Auctions
of 53 votes, 55% like it
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Halloween is a massive conspiracy orchestrated by Dentists.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
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I always believed it was butter.
of 59 votes, 66% like it
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Origami: The Ancient Art of Recycling
of 56 votes, 63% like it
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You Only Die Once, So Make Sure You Die Doing Something Awesome.
of 50 votes, 56% like it
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Pessimists Live Every Day Like it is Their Last.
of 54 votes, 67% like it
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Multi-Tasking helps me Drive and Yell at the same Time.
of 57 votes, 60% like it
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Mood Swings make Terrible Playground Equipment
of 56 votes, 57% like it
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Paperclips: Staples for people who are afraid of commitment.
of 72 votes, 64% like it
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Jumping on Beds is More Fun When You Sleep on a Trampoline.
of 54 votes, 59% like it
|
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Time Travel is the way of the future.
of 51 votes, 43% like it
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Circuses: The First Equal Opportunity Employers
of 53 votes, 51% like it
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My Way and the Highway Happen to be the Same Way
of 58 votes, 47% like it
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Courting is like Stalking, except with flowers.
of 51 votes, 47% like it
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Antarctica, It is where the cool people are.
of 54 votes, 48% like it
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I Never Lie. You Can Even Ask My Pet Dragon.
of 57 votes, 49% like it
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Science is just Magic disguised by Numbers.
of 49 votes, 43% like it
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If you can read this, my invisibility cloak is malfunctioning.
of 52 votes, 52% like it
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Books have many uses, such as propping up your TV.
of 47 votes, 43% like it
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The secret to my success involves several felonies.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
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I Never Lie. My Pants are on Fire for Entirely Different Reasons.
of 59 votes, 59% like it
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A Restraining Order means that she is just playing hard to get
of 47 votes, 49% like it
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Food Critic: Will work for a meal.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
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If Silence is Golden, then Awkward Situations are a Commodity
of 46 votes, 54% like it
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Talk is Cheap, but Parrots are expensive.
of 48 votes, 56% like it
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An Eye for an Eye Explains Why All Pirates Have Eyepatches
of 47 votes, 60% like it
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I'd give one of my eyes to be a Pirate.
of 46 votes, 63% like it
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The Metric System is Taking Over the World, Meter by Meter.
of 49 votes, 57% like it
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I don't believe in reverse psychology and neither should you.
of 57 votes, 63% like it
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Hypothermia: All the cool kids are doing it
of 59 votes, 66% like it
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Live Dangerously, Talk to Strangers
of 62 votes, 58% like it
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I got this wicked tan from surfing the internet
of 52 votes, 62% like it
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The Conspiracy Theorists are working together
of 42 votes, 52% like it
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Awesomeness: The Cure for Modesty
of 42 votes, 48% like it
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Live Dangerously, Run With Scissors.
of 44 votes, 45% like it
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People in Glass Houses Should Wear More Clothes.
of 47 votes, 53% like it
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Arsonist is such an ugly word. I prefer Fire Enthusiast.
of 50 votes, 54% like it
|
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Rome wasn't built in a day, because the Romans were slow builders
of 43 votes, 37% like it
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Even fish know that you should stay in school
of 54 votes, 50% like it
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An Apple a day keeps Steve Jobs in business.
of 51 votes, 43% like it
|
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I can talk to Animals. They just can't understand me.
of 58 votes, 64% like it
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Laughter is the Best Medicine is Clown Propaganda
of 47 votes, 53% like it
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Power Napping Saves Energy
of 42 votes, 48% like it
|
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I control time with the aid of a stop watch
of 50 votes, 64% like it
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Running with Scissors Cuts Through Alot of Red Tape
of 41 votes, 46% like it
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It is all fun and games until you get a job
of 53 votes, 68% like it
|
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Deja Vu: It's Like you have read this before. (on and front/back)
of 44 votes, 55% like it
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Mocking Birds Never Learned Their Manners
of 46 votes, 37% like it
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This shirt is hiding my shame.
of 50 votes, 48% like it
|
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Typography: Respect the Grid
of 49 votes, 49% like it
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It's a Helvetica Thing. You wouldn't understand. (in helvetica)
of 53 votes, 53% like it
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Chivalry may be dead, but I have a pretty sweet suit of armor
of 49 votes, 49% like it
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Hyperbole is the greatest thing ever.
of 58 votes, 53% like it
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Trying to follow my dreams results in sleepwalking
of 66 votes, 50% like it
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telekinesis is just another word for lazy
of 43 votes, 44% like it
|
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Disco Fever is a serious disease.
of 56 votes, 61% like it
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History repeats itself because we didn't hear it the first time
of 55 votes, 55% like it
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The Weather: Because we need something to talk about
of 58 votes, 60% like it
|
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This shirt is not intended as a life-saving device
of 50 votes, 54% like it
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I settle all disputes through dance
of 44 votes, 48% like it
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If a tree falls and no one hears it, who has logging rights?
of 51 votes, 47% like it
|
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Walking the Plank is a Pirate's Favorite Board Game
of 50 votes, 44% like it
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Sleepwalkers Follow Their Dreams
of 59 votes, 58% like it
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My Favorite Type Of Rock Music Is Sedimentary.
of 49 votes, 39% like it
|
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Cannibals Prove That You Are What You Eat
of 63 votes, 54% like it
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I Still Try To Fix Electronics By Blowing Into Them
of 68 votes, 69% like it
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Scientists are just Wizards Disguised by a Lab Coat
of 66 votes, 59% like it
|
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Fighting fire with Fire gets you Fired from the Fire Department
of 74 votes, 70% like it
|
There is a Thin Line between Ninja and Mime
of 57 votes, 53% like it
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Cartoons taught me that head trauma is funny
of 60 votes, 58% like it
|
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Fighting fire with fire is how I lost my job as a fireman
of 69 votes, 58% like it
|
Chivalry may be dead, but swordfighting is making a comeback
of 70 votes, 64% like it
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not knowning is the other half of the battle
of 53 votes, 55% like it
|
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Sticks and stones may break my bones, especially when combined.
of 60 votes, 65% like it
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hyperbole is a million times better than exaggeration
of 62 votes, 69% like it
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When will people realize that all races are inferior to robots?
of 60 votes, 63% like it
|
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Mannequins are just very convincing mimes.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
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Cubists need to think outside the box
of 68 votes, 69% like it
|
Professional Conga-Line Starter
of 68 votes, 53% like it
|
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Headstands give you a new perspective on life
of 65 votes, 46% like it
|
Quantum Physicists agree, it's not the size that matters
of 65 votes, 66% like it
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Synonyms are redundant, also, superfluous and tautological.
of 65 votes, 58% like it
|
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When your Guitar is on Fire, Stop, Rock, and Roll.
of 72 votes, 67% like it
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I am not a pyromaniac, I am a fire enthusiast
of 65 votes, 58% like it
|
Science: Making it harder to explain things to children
of 79 votes, 77% like it
|
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Science: Ruining magic since 1666
of 62 votes, 65% like it
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Beauty is only skin deep, because organs are gross
of 72 votes, 64% like it
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Friction is holding me back
of 62 votes, 63% like it
|
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Beauty is only skin deep, because bones and guts are gross
of 71 votes, 63% like it
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My whole life has been a struggle against gravity
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
Don't judge a book by its t-shirt.
of 51 votes, 55% like it
|
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Skipping is an underrated form of transportation
of 67 votes, 67% like it
|
Life is slowly killing me
of 61 votes, 66% like it
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Insanity is just a really good imagination
of 63 votes, 52% like it
|
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Retro: It's time travel without the science
of 62 votes, 45% like it
|
I say all the wrong things at all the right times.
of 55 votes, 55% like it
|
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and zombies
of 60 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Real jungle gyms have tigers
of 65 votes, 52% like it
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Jungle Gyms Promote the Survival of the Fittest
of 64 votes, 48% like it
|
Moustaches make any situation sexier
of 63 votes, 57% like it
|
|
I travel by Somersaults
of 59 votes, 51% like it
|
Do we really need rhetorical questions?
of 70 votes, 63% like it
|
My bodyguards are disguised as inanimate objects
of 65 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Curiosity never killed the monkey
of 58 votes, 66% like it
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My career as a Psychic ended due to unforeseen circumstances
of 78 votes, 69% like it
|
Mimes find it hard to say Goodbye
of 56 votes, 48% like it
|
|
Using French words is so Cliché
of 74 votes, 61% like it
|
C is for copyright infringement, that's good enough for me.
of 67 votes, 43% like it
|
People in glass houses shouldn't kill two birds with one stone
of 67 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Mad Mathematicians are Irrational
of 64 votes, 48% like it
|
Historians are stuck in the past
of 65 votes, 52% like it
|
My career as a Psychic ended due to unforseen circumstances
of 93 votes, 72% like it
|
|
Reverse psychology only works on backwards day
of 59 votes, 51% like it
|
I am a philosopher, by which I mean unemployed
of 81 votes, 68% like it
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All my favorite artists and musicians were insane
of 64 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Dueling artists yell, "Avant Garde!"
of 67 votes, 52% like it
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I would give my left ear to paint like Van Gogh.
of 68 votes, 62% like it
|
The Weather: Giving people something to talk about
of 65 votes, 55% like it
|
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I have everything except hypochondria
of 66 votes, 50% like it
|
Life is full of choices, like: Eyepatch or Monocle?
of 67 votes, 49% like it
|
This childhood was brought to you by the letters T, and V.
of 69 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Genetic Engineers Wear Designer Genes
of 70 votes, 57% like it
|
When I grow up I want to be childish
of 70 votes, 60% like it
|
I can speak to animals, they just can't understand me
of 71 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Home is where you make it, when zoned correctly.
of 58 votes, 50% like it
|
History doesn't repeat itself, it just has a stuttering problem
of 64 votes, 53% like it
|
Monopoly taught me everything I know about capitalism
of 82 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Synonyms are useful, practical, and convenient.
of 72 votes, 64% like it
|
I'm not an abstract painter, but I do occasionally spill things
of 86 votes, 69% like it
|
Mimes are people trapped in old movies
of 78 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Aardvarks always have to be first.
of 71 votes, 45% like it
|
Life is like a boardgame, specifically the one called Life.
of 66 votes, 52% like it
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Club sandwiches are too exclusive
of 65 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Green eggs and ham spread salmonella
of 75 votes, 41% like it
|
It turns out that your birthday-suit is not formal attire
of 66 votes, 52% like it
|
I am an intellectual, by which i mean unemployed.
of 72 votes, 58% like it
|
|
I think that today is friday, please don't ruin it for me
of 67 votes, 49% like it
|
I didn't like this haircut at first, but it is growing on me
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
If Silence is Golden, Mimes must be loaded
of 71 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Quick, someone is coming, kiss me.
of 71 votes, 37% like it
|
What doesn't kill you will leave a cool scar
of 78 votes, 53% like it
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My arrogance is second only to my awesomeness
of 71 votes, 51% like it
|
|
meteor showers are less refreshing than they sound
of 74 votes, 51% like it
|
Unicorns make great letter openers
of 72 votes, 49% like it
|
This t-shirt is intended for lefties
of 69 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I high-five ambidextrously
of 81 votes, 70% like it
|
Unicorns are much more sinister than previously thought
of 66 votes, 41% like it
|
Unicorns taste magically delicious
of 66 votes, 42% like it
|
|
A Spork is a jack of all trades, but a master of none
of 74 votes, 50% like it
|
Museums are the most boring form of time travel
of 74 votes, 50% like it
|
Narwhals are the unicorns of the sea
of 73 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Conga lines are something everyone can get behind
of 72 votes, 50% like it
|
There is a subtle difference between hijinx and shenanigans
of 66 votes, 53% like it
|
Helvetica is a life style
of 63 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Monocles and eyepatches are a winning combination
of 78 votes, 49% like it
|
Caution: moving parts
of 81 votes, 48% like it
|
Nothing says classy like a monocle
of 75 votes, 49% like it
|
|
I celebrate fictional holidays
of 86 votes, 59% like it
|
This text is actually a collection of conviently shaped stains
of 73 votes, 58% like it
|
Awkwardness brings people closer together, uncomfortably so.
of 82 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Nothing makes sense these days, and neither does everything else
of 70 votes, 51% like it
|
The typewriter is mightier than the pen, heavier too.
of 69 votes, 49% like it
|
Alliterations are always awesome
of 76 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Chinese finger traps are torture devices for children
of 77 votes, 45% like it
|
I exercise my right not to work out
of 85 votes, 49% like it
|
Revolutions make the world go round
of 82 votes, 52% like it
|
|
It's a coincidence that I am both conceited and totally awesome
of 74 votes, 55% like it
|
I work very hard at being unproductive
of 78 votes, 41% like it
|
The only thing we have to fear are radioactive super mutants.
of 77 votes, 51% like it
|
|
History is so last year.
of 91 votes, 52% like it
|
Indifference is ok... I guess.
of 82 votes, 49% like it
|
Wearing shirts with words on them make people think I'm literate.
of 75 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Antonyms are synonyms' antonym.
of 80 votes, 51% like it
|
I have the world's most severe exaggeration problem.
of 86 votes, 59% like it
|
1) Sentence 2 is false.
2) Sentence 1 is true.
of 86 votes, 49% like it
|
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Live forever or die trying.
of 83 votes, 57% like it
|
Minimalism is.
of 87 votes, 51% like it
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I respond well to courting.
of 70 votes, 53% like it
|
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Hooray, You're Literate.
of 109 votes, 50% like it
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