For the last time I am NOT Irish so stop trying to kiss me!
of 33 votes, 30% like it
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Do not disturb. I'm disturbed enough already.
of 40 votes, 30% like it
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Holy crap! You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?
of 41 votes, 27% like it
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Murphy's Law #2:
The first myth of management is that it exists.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
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Murphy's Law #1:
If something can go wrong, it will.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
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I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. RUN!
of 40 votes, 28% like it
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I don\'t have a license to kill. I have a learner\'s permit. RUN!
of 35 votes, 17% like it
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I am Nobody. Nobody is Perfect.
I am PERFECT!
of 41 votes, 41% like it
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I have OCD. But it should be CDO. Alphabetized.
of 40 votes, 38% like it
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Go ahead eat my cake. Does anyone show up when it's carrots? NO!
of 36 votes, 31% like it
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Chaos, Panic, Fear. My work here is done.
of 39 votes, 44% like it
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I'm not good at advice. Can I interest u in a sarcastic comment?
of 40 votes, 35% like it
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Please wait: Witty response is loading 78%
of 41 votes, 46% like it
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Warning: Owner is subject to spontaneous outbursts of song.
of 42 votes, 60% like it
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Everybody Shut Up!
of 36 votes, 25% like it
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sometimes when I'm alone.. I google myself.
of 39 votes, 31% like it
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I can't remember... am I the good twin or the evil one...?
of 38 votes, 34% like it
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I came. I saw.
I was politely asked to leave.
of 43 votes, 74% like it
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I am the President of the NSS. ( The National Sarcasm Society )
of 35 votes, 34% like it
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My Indian Name: Runs With Beer.
of 33 votes, 30% like it
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I'm confussed. No wait... Maybe im not.
of 37 votes, 46% like it
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My personal space is 4 feet. Consider yourself warned.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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What happens in Daycare stays in Daycare.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
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I tried being good but it just didn't work out.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
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another fine product of a dysfunctional family
of 29 votes, 48% like it
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Silence is Golden
Duck tape is Silver
of 32 votes, 53% like it
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I always wanted to be somebody, I should have been more specific
of 28 votes, 61% like it
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does it scare you that you're looking for widom from a t-shirt?
of 26 votes, 31% like it
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I make stuff up, like t-shirt slogans.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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He did it -->
of 25 votes, 36% like it
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Pedro voted for me.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
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I'm famous in North Dakota
of 23 votes, 35% like it
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I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar... :'(
of 25 votes, 40% like it
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Life's too short and so am I.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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333 only half evil.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
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I'm not lost. I'm directionally challenged.
of 25 votes, 56% like it
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If it wasn't 4 physics and law enforcement I would b unstoppable
of 20 votes, 35% like it
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I USED TO CARE but I take a pill for that now.
of 21 votes, 43% like it
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I see drunk people.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
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Come to the dark side. We have cookies and cake!
of 26 votes, 38% like it
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One by one. The penguins are stealing my sanity.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
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I have ADH- Hey look! Something shiny!
of 25 votes, 40% like it
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U have the right to remain silent. Anything u say will b stupid.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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Do I look like a people person?
I didn't think so.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. Hee Hee.
of 23 votes, 57% like it
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Top 10 reasons to Procrastinate:(write in your own reasons here)
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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I'm dressed and out of bed. What more do you want?
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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World's Tallest Leprechaun !
of 29 votes, 45% like it
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I rish you would buy me a beer.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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In life being off beat can be good. In music not so much...
of 29 votes, 38% like it
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Pick one:
A: I don't know.
B: I don't care.
of 28 votes, 43% like it
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When angry, count to four. When your very angry, swear.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
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Twilight is... twilighty
of 38 votes, 24% like it
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Hee Hee.
Come on you know that made you laugh.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
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Go start a band!
of 29 votes, 24% like it
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Zipadeedoodah, zip-a-dee-ay,
Wonderful feeling, wonderful day
of 26 votes, 19% like it
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Scalliwag
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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Same old crap, different day.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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I can only talk to ppl like you on the second Monday of the week
of 31 votes, 26% like it
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Chocolate wanted.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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What happens in Vegas does NOT stay in Vegas!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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People are the reason why I need to drink... a lot.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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It's like you're trying to communicate.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
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Fine. You're mean anyway.
of 46 votes, 24% like it
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It's like your trying to communicate.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
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Don't let your mind wander, it's way to small to be by itself.
of 48 votes, 38% like it
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Hi!..........you can keep moving now..........really..........
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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Student Driver... Get off the sidewalk and RUN!
of 52 votes, 23% like it
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...I should really stop shoving people into the waffle iron...
of 52 votes, 25% like it
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Smile...even if it is a little creepy.
of 54 votes, 39% like it
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Your intelligence is stupid.
of 53 votes, 19% like it
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Who would desecrate a pickle by frying it?!
of 51 votes, 22% like it
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How can I say I miss you if you won't leave?
of 51 votes, 24% like it
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