With life being so short, wonder if it has a height complex?
of 27 votes, 37% like it
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My best side takes over after dawn.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
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Nothing happens on writer's block.
of 30 votes, 67% like it
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I'll go green when I'm not feeling so blue.
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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I'll be frank, you can be whoever you want to be.
of 35 votes, 66% like it
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Deadzones: The number one killers of conversation.
of 46 votes, 57% like it
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Having an eye on things sorta puts your face at a disadvantage.
of 55 votes, 67% like it
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The secret to my success was keeping it secret.
of 72 votes, 83% like it
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Note to self: Fools come around more than one day in April.
of 57 votes, 61% like it
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Self-assessment is overrated. That's why I have critics.
of 54 votes, 63% like it
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Life lessons should be graded on a curve.
of 82 votes, 72% like it
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Ironically, crosswords keep me even more puzzled.
of 77 votes, 73% like it
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Puppeteers are notorious for pulling strings.
of 83 votes, 75% like it
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People in glass houses do the really bad stuff in the basement.
of 96 votes, 68% like it
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Double-sided coin. It's the price for having two heads.
of 68 votes, 62% like it
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Zippers, like third wheels, tend to get stuck in the middle.
of 77 votes, 73% like it
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Creative License is just code for Fake ID.
of 70 votes, 76% like it
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Apparently, dance scripts require more footnotes.
of 72 votes, 57% like it
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Shadow puppets give whole new meaning to wall art.
of 68 votes, 60% like it
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My life's a spiral notebook of cliff's notes.
of 59 votes, 58% like it
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Speed dialing: It's what all the superheroes are doing.
of 80 votes, 50% like it
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Seeing people walk on eggshells always cracks me up.
of 75 votes, 68% like it
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If you come to a fork in the road, have Scotty beam you up.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
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Measure a man by his character and use rulers for rocks and stuff
of 70 votes, 54% like it
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My dance moves often apply the laws of perpetual motion
of 60 votes, 48% like it
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If I did shoot the sheriff, you think I'd be advertising?
of 71 votes, 69% like it
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This is where the magic happens.
of 61 votes, 52% like it
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I think diversity is great, but I'm mostly into myself.
of 80 votes, 69% like it
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words that fall in love usually get hitched and join a compound.
of 52 votes, 58% like it
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If my rainbow bursts, I guarantee you won't find colored candies.
of 58 votes, 66% like it
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Climb every mountain and you could end up in Guinness.
of 50 votes, 56% like it
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I sleep with my eyes open so people think I'm paying attention.
of 58 votes, 66% like it
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A fact is just an opinion that came up with a full-proof plan.
of 67 votes, 69% like it
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Leave it to a theorist to try to prove a point.
of 61 votes, 51% like it
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Hate is such a strong word. Try LOATHE--it just sounds better.
of 63 votes, 63% like it
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Heroes don't have shadows. They have sidekicks.
of 87 votes, 54% like it
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Excess baggage feels a lot lighter on wheels
of 79 votes, 44% like it
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misery may love company, but i never sent out an invite
of 83 votes, 47% like it
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