Got the idea from both rbthatcher and colorfool. Man, this stuff's harder than it looks.

A - Anarchy: The voices inside my head's 9th opus.
B - Bridge: Just one more thing to get over.
C - Creative License is just code for Fake ID.
D - Double-sided coin. It's the price for having two heads.
E - Elephants in rooms must take up lots of space.
F - Feel free to dawdle, I'm on borrowed time.
G - Geniuses are as smart as the rest of the world is dumb.
H - Hair today, hairy tomorrow.
I - I'm reliving all the good parts once history repeats itself.
J - Justified misdeeds are the sanctioned laws of rulers.
K - Kites live on a natural high.
L - Life lessons should be graded on the curve.
M - Medulla Oblongata. Yeah, it ranks pretty low in my brain, too.
N - Near perfection is often preceded by repetition.
O - Optical Illusion: Hand gestures transformed into shadow puppets.
P - People in glass houses do the really bad stuff in the basement.
Q - Quicksand keeps me head-deep in granular situations.
R - Riding someone's coattail keeps you a stitch ahead of the curve.
S - Snagging Pirates: ARGGGGH-uably a lost form of treasure hunting.
T - The canal was my first form of transportation.
U - Unicorn [uni+corn]: a single-bearing vegetable in a former life.
V - Visitors who overstay their welcome are called earthlings.
W - Who needs robots? My PC has its own set of keys and drives.
X - X-ray vision falls just short of clairvoyance.
Y - Your superhero can't hold a five-ton candle to mine.
Z - Zippers, like third wheels, tend to get stuck in the middle.

.....

[ALTERNATES]

H - OR Hear today, hearing aid tomorrow.