I'm an expert in martial arts AND crafts
of 45 votes, 24% like it
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Jesus lied when He said He loved you
of 45 votes, 27% like it
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how do you treat someone who's addicted to therapy?
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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I have a photographic memory, it's just out of film
of 44 votes, 18% like it
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I made a fresh glass of lemonade just for you!
of 44 votes, 7% like it
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look, keys! (and thy're shiny too!)
of 44 votes, 7% like it
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I'm not fat, gravity just has a stronger affect on me
of 44 votes, 25% like it
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Chuck Norris slammed a revolving door
of 44 votes, 14% like it
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Procrastination: it's not a sport for ameteurs
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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you don't have a sweet tooth, you're just a pig
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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poptarts are my guilty pleasure
of 44 votes, 5% like it
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you smell like the presents my dog leaves
of 42 votes, 10% like it
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you're flat in front like ken
of 42 votes, 10% like it
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zip it or I'll punch you in your craplousy face!
of 42 votes, 5% like it
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Barbie's full name: Barbie Zwaytothin
of 42 votes, 10% like it
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if you only had a brain
of 42 votes, 7% like it
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Fruitcake - anything but fruit
of 42 votes, 12% like it
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you smell (just so you know)
of 42 votes, 7% like it
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you are years beyond your wisdom
of 42 votes, 12% like it
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The smell of Cinabon is the number one leading cause of cavities
of 42 votes, 7% like it
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STAY AWAY FROM MY BUBBLE!
of 42 votes, 12% like it
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Why don't you just take five nice big steps away from me
of 42 votes, 12% like it
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Find Yourself (just as long as it's far far away from me)
of 42 votes, 12% like it
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I know you didn't ask, but that does make you look fat
of 42 votes, 24% like it
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you're not fat...wait...yes you are
of 42 votes, 14% like it
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go chew pudding
of 42 votes, 5% like it
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I prefer to call stalking "obsessive shadowing"
of 42 votes, 21% like it
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