If you're reading this you're bothering me
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
Walking backwards is how I travel back in time.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
(chest) Help! (on sleeve) missing heart.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Staring is caring in a stalking kind of way.
of 31 votes, 45% like it
|
Booby traps sound fun, but they can be quite deadly.
of 31 votes, 45% like it
|
Me; Guaranteed fresh until death or you're money back.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
|
|
When I evolve you won't recognize me.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
|
Holding on to the past always keeps your hands occupied.
of 29 votes, 41% like it
|
Life; I never plan for it, it just happens.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Beware of shadows, they are shady people.
of 29 votes, 41% like it
|
Models are all a bunch of posers.
of 32 votes, 63% like it
|
Models are all posers.
of 23 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Holding on to the past usually keeps my hands occupied.
of 27 votes, 44% like it
|
Space; the three-dimensional extent in which awesomeness occurs.
of 26 votes, 42% like it
|
Holding on to the past usually keeps my hands full.
of 24 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Warning; My dance moves are a fire hazard.
of 39 votes, 51% like it
|
Things that go bump in the night might not suitable for children.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
|
Paying attention is not in my budget.
of 42 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Crime doesn't pay, unless you're on a payroll.
of 42 votes, 43% like it
|
You have an opinion, but it's just not important.
of 41 votes, 56% like it
|
There's a thin line between being a hero or a villain.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Orange you glad you're not beat to a pulp?
of 38 votes, 32% like it
|
In the story of your life I might be the villain or the hero.
of 24 votes, 58% like it
|
I prefer to werewolves not fur.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Rocks; the key to opening the window of opportunity.
of 32 votes, 63% like it
|
Rocks; the key to every window of opportunity.
of 36 votes, 67% like it
|
The future is bright, especially in the morning.
of 29 votes, 66% like it
|
|
Snowflakes are unique, but they all taste the same to me.
of 37 votes, 86% like it
|
Life's a game of survival and I'm tied for first.
of 33 votes, 55% like it
|
Life's a game and I'm tied for first.
of 32 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Dreams are now available in HD.
of 40 votes, 57% like it
|
(upside down)I just turned your world upside down.
of 35 votes, 66% like it
|
Darkness falls on those who don't pay their electrical bill.
of 39 votes, 74% like it
|
|
(Front) HELLO!
(Back) GOODBYE!
of 39 votes, 44% like it
|
Living in the fast lane is a bad real estate location.
of 42 votes, 45% like it
|
My poker face is more effective when no ones looking.
of 45 votes, 69% like it
|
|
Don't trust strangers, unless they give you candy.
of 33 votes, 45% like it
|
Don't trust strangers, unless they offer you candy.
of 32 votes, 50% like it
|
With great power comes a great superhero outfit.
of 58 votes, 66% like it
|
|
I exercised the demons and lost a few pounds.
of 45 votes, 62% like it
|
Gardening, can you dig it?
of 40 votes, 40% like it
|
Change; it comes to those who do laundry.
of 39 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Being awesome; it's hereditary.
of 36 votes, 58% like it
|
Vampires; proving once again that there is life after death.
of 36 votes, 50% like it
|
Vampires really know how to leave their mark.
of 38 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Zombies; When people aren't who they use to be.
of 36 votes, 44% like it
|
If you're a vampire bite me.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
|
Getting chased by zombies, it's how I stay in shape.
of 31 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Life would be easier with cheat codes.
of 33 votes, 45% like it
|
Lifes challenges would be easier with cheat codes.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
|
Vampires, the other pale white meat.
of 31 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Sequels are the real horror.
of 31 votes, 58% like it
|
Mummies always get a bad wrap.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
|
The boogey monster actually can't dance.
of 38 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Frankenstein; The 1790 science fair champion.
of 42 votes, 69% like it
|
Lifes ups & downs usually causes motion sickness.
of 42 votes, 50% like it
|
My goal in life will be a bicycle kick.
of 34 votes, 47% like it
|
|
100 coins is a small price to pay for an extra life.
of 38 votes, 61% like it
|
Maturity killed the child within me and I want vengeance.
of 33 votes, 42% like it
|
Walking on eggshells is not as difficult as people think.
of 32 votes, 50% like it
|
|
(black font on black shirt) If you can read this my covers blown.
of 37 votes, 54% like it
|
While you were sleeping I saved a princess & her kingdom.
of 41 votes, 56% like it
|
Tripping will be my downfall.
of 54 votes, 69% like it
|
|
Tripping; it's my downfall.
of 45 votes, 69% like it
|
Great jokes always help a bad case of the giggles.
of 36 votes, 56% like it
|
My disappearing act needs work.
of 46 votes, 85% like it
|
|
If you can read this my cover's blown.
of 41 votes, 59% like it
|
Even though I didn't start it, awesome always ends with me
of 50 votes, 50% like it
|
I hope I don't die today because living is kind of my thing.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I hate when aliens invade my space.
of 49 votes, 67% like it
|
Laughter goes best with a clever name and an evil plan.
of 52 votes, 71% like it
|
Your jokes are no laughing matter
of 31 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Beware; Clowns are no laughing matter.
of 28 votes, 50% like it
|
Trouble is stalking me because it always seems to find me.
of 35 votes, 43% like it
|
Wait for it... this shirt will self destruct in due time.
of 35 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Halloween; when the freaks come out at night.
of 30 votes, 40% like it
|
When I'm down airplanes always seem to lift me up.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
|
Cashiers are always checking me out.
of 60 votes, 78% like it
|
|
Roller coasters always have their ups and downs.
of 36 votes, 44% like it
|
Originality is so cut and paste.
of 39 votes, 69% like it
|
Technically we all fall victim to name calling.
of 33 votes, 70% like it
|
|
I'd take more life risks if I found a
1-up mushroom.
of 38 votes, 63% like it
|
Life makes more sense in the dictionary.
of 42 votes, 67% like it
|
Life makes more sense in dictionaries.
of 26 votes, 42% like it
|
|
I don't remember eating these feelings inside me.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
|
Stuff, it's what I do.
of 33 votes, 55% like it
|
Gravity's a real downer.
of 43 votes, 51% like it
|
|
If at first you don't succeed hang up and try again later.
of 39 votes, 38% like it
|
Gravity; it's a real downer.
of 41 votes, 44% like it
|
Actually, love gives love a bad name.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Life's less important when you're dead.
of 36 votes, 44% like it
|
Science ruined my beliefs in the art of magic.
of 50 votes, 42% like it
|
Beware of Disco Fever; it's contagious.
of 40 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Technically hip hop is bad rap.
of 39 votes, 33% like it
|
Neighborhood watch; it comes with the territory.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
|
Life's better when you're immortal.
of 45 votes, 69% like it
|
|
Promises are meant to be broken, so get a warranty.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
|
I usually don't trip and fall, but yeah gravity.
of 47 votes, 32% like it
|
Promises aren't meant to be broken, so get a warranty.
of 45 votes, 40% like it
|
|
(on sleeve) angry, excited, jealous, happy, sad, loving, annoyed
of 37 votes, 51% like it
|
Things that go bump in the night are usually rated-R.
of 45 votes, 53% like it
|
What was the best thing "before" sliced bread?
of 53 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Red meat is not bad for you, the fuzzy green meat is.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
|
Even though I can fly, I lie to make my life sound exciting.
of 52 votes, 50% like it
|
Memory Lane is closed due to amnesia.
of 62 votes, 73% like it
|
|
There's no future, I always seem to wake up in the present.
of 36 votes, 47% like it
|
Life is full of surprises, especially if you have amnesia.
of 65 votes, 71% like it
|
My dancing usually moves people... off the dance floor.
of 52 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Dreams fade just like this shirt.
of 49 votes, 47% like it
|
Satisfactions easy when expectations are low.
of 47 votes, 51% like it
|
It's my unbirthday, give me a hug.
of 40 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Cereal killers do more damage with a spoon than a steak knife.
of 41 votes, 49% like it
|
(front)Show your support; Details on back.(back)Pat hand here.
of 47 votes, 81% like it
|
Spread the word, it goes great on wheat bread.
of 34 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Notice; White lies will now come in black.
of 49 votes, 57% like it
|
Everything’s cancelled due to alien invasion.
of 48 votes, 69% like it
|
Cookies, they will crumble at my feet!
of 45 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Life, it will be the death of me.
of 44 votes, 57% like it
|
Predictable; I knew you were going to read my shirt.
of 40 votes, 63% like it
|
People of Earth I come in peace.
of 39 votes, 67% like it
|
|
If something happens you're my witness.
of 40 votes, 50% like it
|
Yes, Vindictive is my middle name.
of 44 votes, 48% like it
|
Drivers be advised: Carpool lanes have no lifeguards on duty.
of 49 votes, 55% like it
|
|
I push the envelope so much, I'm becoming a mailman.
of 40 votes, 48% like it
|
Reach for the light switch because the stars are out of reach.
of 40 votes, 45% like it
|
I push the envelope so much, I'm becoming a mailman."
of 50 votes, 56% like it
|
|
I push the envelope so much that I was offered a job as a mailman
of 45 votes, 42% like it
|
Revenge is sweet, especially when dipped in chocolate.
of 44 votes, 41% like it
|
Coffee: It's not my cup of tea.
of 59 votes, 80% like it
|
|
Warning: A pocket full of sunshine is a fire hazard.
of 59 votes, 80% like it
|
Don't mind me, I'm just running from the thing that's chasing me.
of 52 votes, 48% like it
|
Go bananas, because people are monkeys too.
of 47 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Reality bites, so bite back, but harder.
of 62 votes, 61% like it
|
When life's a blur, get glasses.
of 45 votes, 44% like it
|
When life's a blur, get some glasses.
of 55 votes, 49% like it
|
|
The general spirit of music consumes me.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
|
Unusual starts with you
of 53 votes, 70% like it
|
If you can read this you're invading my space.
of 55 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Warning contains authenticated awesomeness.
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
My vision is cloudy, so I predict rain.
of 68 votes, 66% like it
|
Arms and legs, they'll grow on you.
of 65 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Free Hugs (plus shipping, handling, & some other hidden fees.
of 80 votes, 74% like it
|
Brainstorming can be dangerous, especially when holding a tree.
of 70 votes, 63% like it
|
This is a high five moment.
of 53 votes, 53% like it
|
|
If at first you don't succeed, shred the evidence.
of 72 votes, 69% like it
|
Dragon slaying is illegal in all 50 states.
of 65 votes, 52% like it
|
The reputation of a crimnal hangs in the balance.
of 53 votes, 42% like it
|
|
I cannot confirm or deny my awesomeness.
of 46 votes, 48% like it
|
Life would be better if it was in
3-D.
of 54 votes, 65% like it
|
I never have a solution, but I certainly admire the problems.
of 64 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Comic Book Collectors; they have issues.
of 80 votes, 70% like it
|
Space, It takes my breath away.
of 63 votes, 56% like it
|
I had a date with "destiny" and got stood up.
of 57 votes, 47% like it
|
|
I hate it when people steal my ideas before I think of them.
of 85 votes, 72% like it
|
I hate when people steal my ideas before I think of them.
of 65 votes, 62% like it
|
Imagination plus innovation equals Robotic Dinosaur Ninjas.
of 68 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Class; the only thing school and I have in common.
of 67 votes, 49% like it
|
There'll always be prayer in schools as long as there are tests.
of 64 votes, 66% like it
|
A knuckle sandwich is not that bad if you add a little mayo.
of 56 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I made my homework into a paper airplane and it was hijacked.
of 63 votes, 62% like it
|
Bringing the noise got me a citation.
of 57 votes, 56% like it
|
Experience is just the name we give our mistakes.
of 82 votes, 72% like it
|
|
E = M.C. Hammer
of 73 votes, 62% like it
|
Cartoons help build character.
of 59 votes, 53% like it
|
Life's better when you're not dead.
of 80 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Nightmares ruined my hopes and dreams.
of 69 votes, 43% like it
|
Mood swings give me whiplash.
of 82 votes, 76% like it
|
Pinatas, the sweet taste of candy guts.
of 86 votes, 66% like it
|
|
Warning; Walking on sunshine may cause 11,000 degree burns.
of 86 votes, 49% like it
|
Practice, it makes perfect of something like it.
of 91 votes, 41% like it
|
I plan to live forever; so far so good.
of 108 votes, 70% like it
|
|
The "Buddy System" Failed Me.
of 87 votes, 56% like it
|
Don't play with your food, especially after you've already eaten.
of 89 votes, 39% like it
|
I sold my soul because I wasn't using it.
of 113 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Going undercover always makes me sleepy.
of 120 votes, 60% like it
|
I'm no prophet, but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.
of 129 votes, 73% like it
|
Giving me a piece of your mind will just give me a bigger brain.
of 119 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Atheist: A non-prophet organization.
of 130 votes, 73% like it
|
Warning, I tend to randomly break out in song and dance.
of 110 votes, 60% like it
|
If this shirt's found, please return to the nearest naked person.
of 131 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Vengeance is mine, I bought it online with free shipping.
of 119 votes, 70% like it
|
When I grow up I want to be a burden on society!
of 123 votes, 67% like it
|
In other news, Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.
of 126 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Every time I think I know where Area 51 is at, they move it.
of 115 votes, 49% like it
|
A world without bears would be unbearable.
of 154 votes, 76% like it
|
Save The Polar Bear! Make More Ice Cubes.
of 116 votes, 64% like it
|
|
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
of 129 votes, 73% like it
|
Your assassins failed you because I'm still here.
of 89 votes, 52% like it
|
Just as mysteriously as I appeared, (front)
I am gone! (back)
of 119 votes, 71% like it
|
|
This is the perfect crime, I just can't tell you what it is.
of 97 votes, 53% like it
|
If you can't read this, then I am invisible!
of 111 votes, 67% like it
|
Fun, it's just a point of view.
of 99 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Pain, I can handle it until it hurts.
of 117 votes, 68% like it
|
Church; Come for the wine, stay for the guilt.
of 88 votes, 44% like it
|
This looks like a job for that guy!
of 90 votes, 57% like it
|
|
You think I have no personality? Wait until you meet my alterego.
of 81 votes, 52% like it
|
Be Alert! The world needs more lerts!
of 87 votes, 62% like it
|
Sometimes I aim to please, but usually I just shoot to kill.
of 75 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Be careful, I tested positive for awesome.
of 116 votes, 54% like it
|
Free Hugs (+ tax)
of 110 votes, 51% like it
|
I'm a Robot in a human costume
of 103 votes, 44% like it
|
|
* You are here
of 104 votes, 44% like it
|
