It's been years since I've posted here. I thought I would never come back after the "incident", but here I am. I want to invite whoever is reading this to come check a little thing I call the LeadRocket Chronicles. I promise it won't give you the gout.

Live long and plot your revenge,

D

http://www.leadrocket.blogspot.com/

I just got wind of this project yesterday and it's got me pretty excited. I know this book has influenced tons of artists and writers, so I thought I'd share these pics I found.

They're going to mix old school puppetry and CGI. It looks pretty awesome. The crazy part is Spike Jonze is directing.

Greetings my slutty friends,

I was driving...and what did my eyes behold? A FRIGGIN DE LOREAN!!!

Here are the pics. I hope you appreciate what I did here...I risked my own life to get these shots. Luckily one of my powers is being able to drive with my knees.

Jealous much?

D

P.S. You can’t see him very well, but the dude driving was a 40 year-old fat guy. The best part was that he was wearing the ole’ 80’s shades like Marty. A real American hero, this guy. Lucky bastard.

What follows is an actual conversation I had with this wonderful girl. Read from the bottom and then up. I found it in my the- space-that-is-mine inbox.

The Menace


Ninth of all, i keep saying indubitably because i AM wearing a top hat and monacle (that stays put between my cheek fat and my eyesocket fat). Third of all, you're welcome and thank YOU for pretending to believe that i am "human". perciate it.

Twenty-second of all, i have saved all your messages to me and i will find a way to make money off of them. the people are parched. they're famished. they need some D in their lives and i'm confident that they are willing to pay big for me to provide them with our brilliant reparte.

Ninth, and finally, i can't tell you how many times a man has whispered to me, "That ain't egg nog." but their attempts to fulfill my santa fantasies only serve to remind me of the "man", the god, if you will, that is so far out of my reach. so the next time you decide to put a picture of his royal sexyness up, please consider my long suffering giner. ask yourself, "D, do you really want to do this to Celina's giner?"

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ARKHAM DESIGNS--



First of all, Thank you for the compliment. It's good to know I measure up to the rest of the puny, pathetic humans. You're not so bad yourself, for a human.

Second...stop saying indubitably. I keep imagining an aloof rich guy with a top hat and a monacle saying it.

Third...Santa is by far the sexiest fat guy out there. He's got his own house with tons of acres and a working staff of servants. I mean, if you put out he showers you with gifts. And not just any kind of gift...hand made gifts (not the kind that 5 years olds make in pre-school...oh no). The workmanship alone is up there with chinese slave labor. Good quality stuff, I tell you. How many other fat guys can do that? None, I tell you.

Plus, Santa can say hilarious phrases to you like "That aint egg nog" and let's not forget "The weather outside is frightful, but on my tip you're so delightful". He's a catch, this one is.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Celina



i mean, surely you can agree with me when i say that SANTA is...impossibly sexy. it's almost a supernatural sexyness. you, my dear, have a HUMAN sexyness, that, if compared to other humans, is impressive--indubitably. but santa-whoo!- he makes me blush just to catch sight of his gargantuan belly. and then to know that he's got the goods just out of view... i gotta tell you, it's sending naughty messages that my giner is evidently receiving--indubitably.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ARKHAM DESIGNS--



More than my picture?

I'm guessing yes.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Celina



maybe it's been too long for me, but santa has such a raw sexuality--he's making me feel things.

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: ARKHAM DESIGNS--



Does this do anything for you, Celina?

This has got to win the AWESOME AWARD '08. Seriously, I just want to take this kid to Star Wars cons and let her speak for hours.

I was rummaging through youtube and found a video that made my Monday frown turn upside down. I hope it does the same for you, if you're lucky enough to be reading this anyway.

Racistly yours,

The Menace

So I decided to submit my first design. It was up for critique and got a few responses, mostly positive, but I hope the judges see this design as an interpretation of a broken mind. I know lots of others would have illustrated it a different way, but this is what I chose.

And if I get a big NEGATORY, so be it. I just think Vincent Van Gogh was fascinating, much like Howard Hughes and others. People with crippling mental illnesses who just happen to be geniuses at what they're passionate about. Madness is not a hindrance - there is no reason to not do what you love and do it well.

Check it out and show your support if you agree.

For more on Van Gogh check out his wiki page or visit your local library... : ) (cue 'the more you know' music)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_Van_Gogh

I'm getting really tired of this nonsense. I don't need to see a Chihuahua wearing better clothes than I. It kind of makes me sad to think a dog has it better than me. It should be outlawed.

I love dogs too, don't get me wrong. I used to have two myself: Scrappy and Dixie. But I was never tempted to dress them in vests and hats. That's recockulous!

And I know what you're thinking, so let me stop you right there. You're thinking, "But Dennis...you seem like a lover of monkeys. By stipulation, does this rule apply to them as well?"

Short answer: Negatory!

Monkeys, although part of the animal kingdom, are on a complete different level then other animals. This is how I see it, if you can fling poo, you can wear clothes.

Werd!

As of last week I have officially banned the act of the high-five from my life. The tribe has spoken on that bastard gesture. I'm done with it and it feels good. I had a guy at the office come up to me with a high-five as a sign of "props" on a design I did...and I just left him hanging.

He said, "Dude? You're gonna leave me hanging...?

I said, "It looks that way...yeah."

My co-worker that sits next to me said, "Wow, you went there..."

And I said, "Yeah, recognize!"

That is all.