My dreams are all VHS
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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Open: Monday-Sunday
of 40 votes, 3% like it
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Today totally feels like tomorrow and so did yesterday.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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Today totally feels like tomorrow.
of 40 votes, 10% like it
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I enjoy my bowel movements.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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Mediocrity at it's best.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
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Bjork is my dad.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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There's no "i" in Shut up.
of 37 votes, 5% like it
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Aske me about my thesis on the deliciosity of bacon.
of 37 votes, 8% like it
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Lets discuss the relative merits of applesauce.
of 37 votes, 5% like it
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What happened to the magic.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
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The magic is gone.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
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Try My New Handshake & Smile Combo.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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My subconscious keeps a low profile.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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My future self dresses better than this.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
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My future self would never wear this.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
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The next time you see me will be in the future.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
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I'm famous in another country.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
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Born to eat bread.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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I could be so good at things if I only gave a $@#%!
of 39 votes, 21% like it
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Most people have no idea who I am.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
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Tomorrow is like yesterday without the regrets.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
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Trust me, the book was much better than the movie.
of 39 votes, 8% like it
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Actually, I read the book.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
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I have never heard of most of the things your into.
of 39 votes, 5% like it
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Re: I'm lonely tonight!
of 39 votes, 3% like it
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I have never heard of Hanna Montana.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
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I'm considering filing for moral bankruptcy.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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My moral compass always points to fudge.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
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My stunt double looks nothing like me.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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I have my reasons for wearing this.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
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Theres a fine French restraunt up yonder a spell.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
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My intelligence is superior to the competitions.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
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I have superior genitalia for my respective sex.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
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This shirt is the excrement!
of 40 votes, 5% like it
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I don't negotiate with dummys
of 40 votes, 5% like it
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All the best ideas are taken but I had them first
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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I have no problem with gay people.
of 40 votes, 3% like it
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It's tough being right all the time.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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I have deeply held convictions about tacos.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
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I believe in stuff.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
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First impressions are overrated.
of 40 votes, 5% like it
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Under this my nips are hard as rocks.
of 40 votes, 5% like it
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For the right person I will never wear this shirt again.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
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This shirt came with a free set of steak knives.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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Loving me comes with a free set of steak knives.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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My vices are negotiable.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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My issue with pants revoles around how they obscure my johnson.
of 38 votes, 3% like it
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Love is like a sweet dump that make your pants fit better.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
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On the morrow I shall dine on tacos.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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A clown on the toilet eating dinner, pants around his ankles.
of 38 votes, 3% like it
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When a clown cries the clouds pee their sadness down.
of 38 votes, 3% like it
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Remember the power of laughter.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
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Can I borrow a feeling.
of 38 votes, 0% like it
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100% approval rating.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
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I am somebody.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
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I want to be a DILF when I grow up.
of 38 votes, 8% like it
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Words can say a lot.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
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When I was a kid things were different.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
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I'm not getting bigger. The world is getting smaller.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
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Whats the problem with kids today.
of 38 votes, 8% like it
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Dick brain.
of 38 votes, 3% like it
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Being a moron must suck.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
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A bung hole choked with fudge.
of 46 votes, 2% like it
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Clever pop-culture reference.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Expression of our collective psyche.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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Is it a Crime?
of 46 votes, 0% like it
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How big is a moose nut?
of 46 votes, 4% like it
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I'm finally out of the closet.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Dick-a-doodle-doo
of 46 votes, 2% like it
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Slappity Slap.
of 46 votes, 2% like it
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Frankly my dear I don't give a hoot.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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There is a yearning in my loins for pizza.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Flatulent is my middle name.
of 46 votes, 7% like it
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The world is High School.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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I look hot in a sweater.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Superfluous Man just got fired.
of 46 votes, 7% like it
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Dumb people are like smart people on acid
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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%#@! your swear jar.
of 46 votes, 2% like it
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Hey Mother Fudker!
of 45 votes, 0% like it
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It's like fun in your butt.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
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It's like grandma on acid.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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MILFs think I am hot.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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Kick in the bits 100% disapproval rating.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
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Voted most likely to not care about what I was voted.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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Punch in the head, 100% disapprroval rating.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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I'm with fatso.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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I've been doing the toothe fairy
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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Testicle brothers.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Prostitution is illegal in most states.
of 46 votes, 2% like it
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I find your planet intriguing.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
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Dreaming on a turd.
of 45 votes, 4% like it
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I enjoy having sex it feels pretty nice.
of 45 votes, 4% like it
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I just got back from Mordor and boy is my ass sore.
of 45 votes, 7% like it
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Whats the matter baby are you gonna cry.
of 45 votes, 0% like it
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You want my gonads in your mouth?
of 45 votes, 4% like it
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All those Smurfs... and only one Smurfette.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
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Viagra for Hobbits.
of 45 votes, 11% like it
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I love animals... in my sandwiches.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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Wealthy young man about town.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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Guess where I've been scratching.
of 45 votes, 4% like it
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Hoboriffic!
of 45 votes, 2% like it
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Web Master bator.
of 45 votes, 0% like it
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I like butter on my nuts.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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Bust it.
of 45 votes, 4% like it
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I'm doing your Mom.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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Everyone knows you whack it.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
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Punk Rock molested Disco
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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Flatulence vs Impotence
of 47 votes, 9% like it
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Nerd and turd rhyme, coincidence, I think not.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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I've got naughty bits.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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The way to a mans heart is through his johnson.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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Who wants to pack some fudge?
of 47 votes, 0% like it
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Nerds get boners too.
of 48 votes, 4% like it
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Done been bone'n
of 48 votes, 0% like it
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My friend thinks your cute.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
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Life is like a comedy, a sad, sad, sad comedy.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
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Everything is better with gravy.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
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Dammit Grandpa!
of 48 votes, 6% like it
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I busted my nut... on my computer.
of 48 votes, 2% like it
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Today is national "Wear this shirt" day.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
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I could really go for a sack of nuts.
of 48 votes, 4% like it
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My fake band rocks.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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I don't do lunch. I eat lunch.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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I sincerely doubt it.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Video games are fun.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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I'm testing you.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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Loving me is easy.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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I'm allergic to crap.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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Allergic to jocks.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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Most of the time they are laughing at you.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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It's not what you do, It's that it's you doing it.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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Escalators are stairs.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Life is like a metaphor.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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If your illiterate you can't read this.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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I have a soul mate but I'm looking for a better one.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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WTF are acronyms.
of 48 votes, 27% like it
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TV isn't real. Sorry you had to find out this way.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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There is no tooth fairy. Sorry you had to find out this way.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
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Random acts of Shakespeare.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Now with 10% more awesome.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
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If this shirts a rock'n don't come a knock'n.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
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I could be rich if I just had the money.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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What you don't know could fill a shirt.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Who's up for wig shopping.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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Fact: Astronauts wear diapers.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Fact: Astronauts wear diapers.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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Psych majors throw crazy parties.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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Astronauts wear diapers.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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Pubic mullet just sounds dirty.
of 48 votes, 4% like it
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Punch in the Neck: 100% disapproval rating.
of 47 votes, 0% like it
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Kick in the Neck: 100% percent disapproval rating.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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Worlds only clever fart shirt.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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Where are all the clever fart shirts.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
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Oxymoron sounds smart and dumb at the same time.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Want to see my pubic mullet.
of 47 votes, 2% like it
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Your imagination thinks your boring.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
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Who's so horny, me?
of 47 votes, 2% like it
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When it comes to bragging, I'm the best.
of 49 votes, 8% like it
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I mix metaphors like too many chefs in the glass house.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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I feel like crap. Wanna feel.
of 47 votes, 2% like it
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I'm much better looking online.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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I'm much better looking on Myspace.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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Grown Up farts: Disgusting Baby farts: Adorable
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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Farts: 100% percent disapproval rating.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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I break dance in my sleep
of 46 votes, 4% like it
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I do the robot in my sleep.
of 46 votes, 4% like it
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Mixing metaphors is like killing two birds in a glass house.
of 47 votes, 36% like it
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I punch in my sleep.
of 47 votes, 19% like it
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Funny Business Major
of 49 votes, 10% like it
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Constructive criticism: Pretty much just like regular criticism.
of 53 votes, 40% like it
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In the rain no one can tell your crying or peeing your pants
of 51 votes, 20% like it
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Don't make me dance, you won't like me when I dance.
of 52 votes, 15% like it
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This is what I look like most of the time.
of 53 votes, 25% like it
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The rat race thing sounds terrible, now rat bowling...
of 49 votes, 6% like it
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Who's that behind you, oh never mind it's just your mullet.
of 49 votes, 10% like it
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Javascript sounds tasty but it's not.
of 50 votes, 12% like it
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I have an imagination but it gets bored at school
of 48 votes, 6% like it
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I have an imagination but it gets bored at work.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
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I have an imagination but it thinks I'm boring.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
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I though mullet was a kind of meat.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
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You can say a lot with words.
of 50 votes, 12% like it
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If words could talk I bet they'd say a lot.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
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I rap in the shower. All freestyle.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
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I'm pretty sure my lava lamp has real lava in it.
of 49 votes, 4% like it
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I working on a hot magma lamp.
of 48 votes, 2% like it
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My vocabulary is big, really, really, really big.
of 49 votes, 31% like it
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Have you read that book 1984 it is so Orwellian.
of 49 votes, 2% like it
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I just know being so optimistic is going to catch up with me.
of 50 votes, 10% like it
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It only hurt a little when I fell from Heaven.
of 50 votes, 8% like it
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You might want to get some fries to go with my shake.
of 50 votes, 10% like it
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I never really thought of business as funny.
of 51 votes, 8% like it
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I was hoping to major in Funny Business.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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Something is better than nothing besides, I already have nothing.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
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I'm about to open up a big ole can of appreciaton on you.
of 51 votes, 8% like it
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I'm really glad farts are invisible.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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Just so you know, I have an evil twin.
of 50 votes, 8% like it
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My butt is so itchy today would you mind if I take care of it.
of 50 votes, 0% like it
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I used to really be into politics but now I'm into this shirt.
of 50 votes, 6% like it
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I googled myself last night and yada, yada, yada now I'm Amish.
of 51 votes, 6% like it
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I googled myself last night but I was wearing protection.
of 50 votes, 4% like it
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I googled myself last night. Now I feel dirty.
of 50 votes, 12% like it
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What's the deal with politics. Am I right people.
of 50 votes, 2% like it
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Can you move a bit to the left. I'm working on my feng shui.
of 50 votes, 8% like it
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This is about as political as I get.
of 50 votes, 16% like it
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