There is no God. Kratos killed them all
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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I am the master of all elements only when applied to Euclid
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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I love to study seaweed, but too bad you can't smoke it
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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I wish zombies shared my thoughts, but they are so selfish
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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I like to pre-vent disasters, by letting out volcanic lava
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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Close minded is a harsh word, I prefer the term, SHUT UP!
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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I've invented the no-cycle, a chair without a frame or wheels
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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Hybrid cars are cool, up until they start running on humans
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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If violence ever disappeared, I would have to punch somebody
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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I hate U so much, I hope the other vowels feel the same way
of 32 votes, 63% like it
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I'm a candy junkie, just check my body cavities
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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Trust me when I say, I am a compulsive liar
of 21 votes, 71% like it
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To infinity and.... that's about as far as I can go
of 20 votes, 80% like it
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The only thing keeping my organs intact is this shirt
of 17 votes, 71% like it
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For some reason it's just easier hooking up with fishes
of 15 votes, 60% like it
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If you catch me with a fish, make sure you pull out the hook
of 13 votes, 38% like it
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Pie taste better as a whole when you (X) it with a diameter
of 15 votes, 33% like it
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To repress my bad memories, I run them over with a steamroller
of 15 votes, 33% like it
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You are like my long lost twin. We have so much Symmetry
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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And thou queen proclaimed, "Don't Stop Me Now!"
of 29 votes, 21% like it
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I can spell, but nothing magical will happen
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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I use prodigious words to make myself look smart
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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I'm not a numskull, I can totally feel my head
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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I rubbed my lamp three times, but all I got was light
of 24 votes, 25% like it
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I need to concentrate, but I'm running out of juice
of 27 votes, 33% like it
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I was going to watch a movie, but it's cheaper to dream
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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I'm a compulsive liar and i just built a jet pack using twigs
of 32 votes, 50% like it
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I would make it rain, but i don't know how to dance
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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I know a cyclops that does private eye work
of 24 votes, 50% like it
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I look cooler when I'm holding ice cubes
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Adverbs make everything super awesome
of 34 votes, 44% like it
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Anyday now I'll spontaneously combust
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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Living life like a movie wouldn't pan out
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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run-ons never finish the race
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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Thanks to genetics, I can pass on my jeans
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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I would use my brain, but it's running on vista
of 15 votes, 27% like it
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My toast is evil, it has a dark side
of 23 votes, 74% like it
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I'm a magician, I can pull my head out of my hat
of 17 votes, 59% like it
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I have the power to stop time... I just need a watch
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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Gym Class: the teenage version of recess
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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Gravity is such a jerk... always bringing people down
of 21 votes, 48% like it
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My angle on life is always a cute one
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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I got my degree in Fahrenheit
of 18 votes, 50% like it
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When the stock market crashes, I'm wearing black
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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Telekinesis: The final stage of laziness
of 21 votes, 71% like it
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My mp3 player is now compatible with 8-tracks
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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I don't have my key, so I'll just pop n lock it
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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I can never ketchup with water
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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You can't break dance with a bat
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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Anteaters took my aunt away
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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I'm not mean, I'm just mathematically average
of 25 votes, 56% like it
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Philosophy... just questions answered with questions
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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Everyone knows skeletons can't breakdance
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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It's only a piece of cake if you slice it
of 17 votes, 47% like it
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When you face an obstacle, do a barrel roll
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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Can I return a vowel?
of 20 votes, 55% like it
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In theater we did a play on words called Pun
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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It hurts when I use an Onomatopoeia
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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Geometry helped shape my life
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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I would like math more if it were x=tinct
of 20 votes, 30% like it
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Bad luck is under every ladder with black cats on top
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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My doppelgänger stole my identity
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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I'm not crying, my eyes are just partly cloudy
of 25 votes, 28% like it
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Everytime I do the robot, I get an error
of 22 votes, 41% like it
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E=MC Hammer^2
of 31 votes, 32% like it
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Unorginality killed my imaginary friend
of 32 votes, 44% like it
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Rating things is so over rated
of 25 votes, 44% like it
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I'm a hero, and I got the sandwich to prove it
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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I got a ticket for moonwalking without yeilding
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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You say butterscotch, I say buttery nipples
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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The only miracle I ever had was on my sandwich
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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When I sleep I dream in ColecoVision
of 33 votes, 33% like it
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My horoscope says I was born with cancers
of 33 votes, 24% like it
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The best things in life are really freaking expensive
of 36 votes, 36% like it
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This shirt makes me invisible when you aren't looking
of 34 votes, 26% like it
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My only weakness is this t-shirt
of 30 votes, 10% like it
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If only I could cook couch potatoes
of 28 votes, 18% like it
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Made of 100% Awesomesauce
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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I see seas of C's
of 29 votes, 17% like it
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