You have to be this tall, this cute and standing here to be me
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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And God said let there be rainbows and everything was FABULOUS!
of 36 votes, 61% like it
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I used to be a super hero, but villainy offered better dental
of 57 votes, 61% like it
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I'm not angry, but my eyebrows are.
of 51 votes, 55% like it
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No trespassing. Unless you're bringing me presents.
of 55 votes, 78% like it
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My other head is severed
of 32 votes, 44% like it
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My involvement in this situation is purely observational
of 82 votes, 73% like it
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When you live in Mom's basement, success is relative.
of 87 votes, 66% like it
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You call it a tree house I call it the birthplace of an empire
of 86 votes, 69% like it
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I don't make the rules, I just bend them to fit my needs.
of 97 votes, 77% like it
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Life would be easier if it was multiple choice
of 92 votes, 82% like it
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I carry a puppy at all times for protection.
of 70 votes, 70% like it
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Cupid should be locked up for assault with a lovely weapon
of 68 votes, 59% like it
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I hope my life proves to be a historical inaccuracy
of 64 votes, 70% like it
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Complex numbers are just misunderstood
of 80 votes, 64% like it
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The future called and said we're behind schedule
of 145 votes, 85% like it
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Life is more exciting when you're a damsel in distress
of 95 votes, 56% like it
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How exactly does nowhere have a middle?
of 108 votes, 64% like it
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Lunch and Dinner are lame. I eat breakfast three times a day
of 100 votes, 59% like it
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Middle School Tip #5: Bullies Dissolve in Battery Acid
of 90 votes, 51% like it
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Boy Meets Girl, Boy Loves Girl, Boy Loses Girl, Girls are Evil
of 104 votes, 58% like it
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Dear Santa: bring me socks again and a reindeer dies
of 103 votes, 62% like it
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The world may be apathetic, but does anyone really care?
of 101 votes, 59% like it
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I'll fight for the dolphins, but the whales are on their own
of 103 votes, 59% like it
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Give me a good reason and I'll give you a better excuse
of 115 votes, 73% like it
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You can steal my thunder, but keep your hands off my lightning
of 131 votes, 70% like it
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I'm much better looking in person
of 94 votes, 54% like it
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while you weren't listening I was explaining the meaning of life
of 94 votes, 61% like it
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I'll save the whales, but the dolphins are on their own
of 86 votes, 56% like it
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