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bcrider
bcrider aka Becky the Bacon Rider is a 32.35 year old girl, has been a member since November 6, 2007, has scored 18745 submissions, giving an average score of 2.08.
  Oct 02 '09 by bcrider        33 Comments        Watch this      Share:  Share on facebook    Share on delicious    Share on digg    Share on MySpace    Tweet this    Stumble this    Share this on Kaboodle   
Just because I need a place to vent at the moment. If you feel like posting your own whiny, ranty, life's-not-fair stuff, feel free.

So as some of you are aware, my little sis got married in June of 2006 and was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in November of the same year. One ovary had to be removed, and she is now in remission (will be three years in May). Her hubby had a little son from a previous marriage and so they weren't intending to try for a child of their own for a couple years anyway, and they started being intentionally "careless" about six months ago. Two weeks ago she called me and excitedly told me she was preggers, but it was way early (like 5-6 weeks), so she was only telling me and my parents and her in-laws (plus two close friends). She wanted to pass that 12-week mark before announcing it fully.

Yesterday my dad emailed me, telling me she was lightly spotting, and she had called the doc's office. She went in for an ultrasound with my mom at 1:30. They said she should've been around 8 weeks but the sac measured more in the range of 4-6 weeks, which was way underdeveloped. Due to the pregnancy being so early, the heartbeat couldn't be detected (usually happens at 10 weeks), so they had to draw blood for lab tests, which I'm sure will be an agonizing wait all weekend.

I don't WANT her to go through this. What, it wasn't enough that a 26-year-old amazing person had to have ovarian cancer 5 months after her wedding, lose an ovary, be told pregnancy might not be possible, get pregnant, and lose it??? Why? Why do all the ghetto trash, welfare-hogging, morons out there get to have piles of babies left and right, when my amazing sister gets kicked in the ass and slapped in the face?

World, you can go fuck yourself.

bcrider
bcrider on Oct 02 '09 at 8:37am
By the way, I'm not saying that EVERYONE that's on welfare is on it for the wrong reasons. Just the ones that keep having babies to stay on it. Just sayin'.
tracerbullet
   tracerbullet on Oct 02 '09 at 8:40am
i'm sorry, becky :(

i hope everything works out for her!
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 02 '09 at 8:48am
Me too... :(
squatterjohn
squatterjohn on Oct 02 '09 at 9:38am
I hope she and the baby are OK. Hopefully it's nothing too serious and the baby's all right. She might need to take every precaution to get through. I hope it works out.

I always thought it was quite unfair about the welfare mums too.
Lonkiponk
Lonkiponk on Oct 02 '09 at 9:49am
I'm sorry to hear, I hope she get's through well.
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 02 '09 at 10:08am
Thanks, SJ & Lonneke.
*hugs*
tracerbullet
   tracerbullet on Oct 02 '09 at 10:14am
doesn't this kind of thing happen to a lot of women their first time getting pregnant? it's still upsetting, but hopefully it's just a regular occurrence and not related to her condition?
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 02 '09 at 10:21am
It's funny; I've heard such massive conflicting stories from doctors since having my own miscarriage nearly 8 years ago. I was told that 40% of women's first pregnancies result in miscarriage, and over half of those women didn't even know they were pregnant (many thought it was just a particularly bad period). Then my rheumatologist fiercely snubbed this, saying women's bodies are MADE for this and for a miscarriage to happen has to be the fault of something within the body that is wrong. He says unless there's a history of family issues with fertility or an infection somewhere in the body, there is no reason for miscarriage in a situation like this. He was particularly annoyed that when I had mine, that the OBGYN didn't want to run tests on the tissue I passed.

I have to say, though, that without that horrible incident, I wouldn't have my Auburn or my Jodie. That's an odd feeling.
sonmi
   sonmi on Oct 02 '09 at 10:24am
:( best of luck to your sister. i've never really heard about miscarriages being THAT common. that's odd.
Kookaberry
   Kookaberry on Oct 02 '09 at 10:30am
Becky, I've always heard the former bit of information, the miscarriages being rather common. It's often the result of something being wrong with the fetus. We all have crap genes somewhere in us and if our crap genes and the guy's crap genes get mixed together, you have a fetus with genetic anomalies which result in automatic termination of the fetus. I think you're rheumatologist is full of poopie (and also has poor bedside manner).
Kookaberry
   Kookaberry on Oct 02 '09 at 10:32am
If she does end up losing the baby, the tiny bit of silver lining to all of this is that it does look like it's not impossible for her to conceive. She sounds like a brave soul to have endured so much. I wish her best of luck and my thoughts are with her.
marblecargirl
marblecargirl on Oct 02 '09 at 10:38am
:( So many hugs to you and your family. That is some really rough stuff to go through. I'm keeping you guys in my thoughts.
littlem
littlem on Oct 02 '09 at 10:46am
aww, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
*hugs
littlem
littlem on Oct 02 '09 at 10:47am
stories like this are what keep me grounded. makes me realize what trivial shit i complain about.
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 02 '09 at 10:51am
LOL

I had to laugh at the rheumatologist comment; he was pretty terrible, which is why I'm at a new one.

Thanks, everyone. She just called me while I was at work and we cried for a few minutes. She's doing as best as can be expected and will be getting some fresh air today and will be nice and distracted by her step-son tonight (her hubby's ex was willing to let them have him this weekend, which is usually their weekend kid-free).
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 02 '09 at 10:52am
littlem on Oct 02 '09 at 10:47am
stories like this are what keep me grounded. makes me realize what trivial shit i complain about.


You and me both! Yesterday my biggest complaint was that I hadn't gotten my bra 100% dry in the dryer and the slightly damp part was right under one boob, driving me crazy.
shirtflirt
shirtflirt on Oct 02 '09 at 10:55am
"world, go fuck yourself"

come on now, you don't mean that. perceivably terrible things are happening almost every moment of every day and when they happen to people closest to us it never sits well nor does it ever seem 'fair'. love will get you through.
your sister sounds like a super dope person with a good head on her shoulders, put some positivity towards the good things and the good things will start multiplying. just you watch!!
charity.ryan
charity.ryan on Oct 02 '09 at 11:09am
It sounds like you really admire your sister and it's so awesome you care about her so much. 2 people close to me had to go through miscarriages and it was an awful thing. But both their doctors told them that a miscarriage is when your body says says: hey, something is not right here." It's a natural thing that sometimes happens and it's no one's fault.

I pray that your sister doesn't lose her baby but if it should happen she sounds like a strong person and she is lucky to have you to go through this with.:)
TheInfamousBaka
TheInfamousBaka on Oct 02 '09 at 11:16am
Hoping for the best, Becky.
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 02 '09 at 2:54pm
It's over, she's heading into the hospital now. Just trying to be there as best I can (I'm still at work an hour and a half away).

I guess I just see her as such a good person, and knowing how much of a not-great person I used to be, I just wish stuff like this would happen to me instead of her. I don't want her to have to deal with this. I want to take it from her. I know the things we go through make us who we are.

I know that if the body decides something's not quite right it generally does this, and if the pregnancy were to carry to term it might be something truly horrible, like massive internal/external deformities or whatever. Which, I obviously think would be worse, but, well you know. I want the right outcome for everyone, everytime.

I have never been happier to be by myself at work. At least no one can see me a total mess.
charity.ryan
charity.ryan on Oct 02 '09 at 3:44pm
You must be a good person too--you're obviously a good sister.

And these things happen for a reason--sometimes we don't know what we want until it's gone. This could make your sister and her husband realize that another child is what their family is missing and now they might be more passionate about making that happen. Sometimes preparing your body for a baby is a great way to ensure a healthy pregnancy--like eating a certain diet or excercise for a few months prior to conceiving.

I hope you keep us posted. Take care of your sister.:)
FRICKINAWESOME
   FRICKINAWESOME on Oct 02 '09 at 3:48pm
I'm sad for your sis and you....you have a great heart and an awesome funny bone and I'm sure your sister is likewise, best of luck to her and to you.
squintygirl
squintygirl on Oct 02 '09 at 3:54pm
I'm sorry about your family's troubles, but it's good to know that you care about them and that they care about you, and in times of trouble that you have people to rely on and commiserate with.

Good luck.
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 02 '09 at 8:07pm
Thanks, you guys... I want to put the positive, brave front up at home and for my family, and so this place ends up being such a great place to vent and just get everything out.

We found out a tad more; Melissa's blood work came back and she is RH negative, which to make a long story short just means that her body is more likely to spontaneously abort a pregnancy early on; this is extremely common and can be prevented with a simple injection. Considering her history (my mom had three miscarriages and Mel had ovarian cancer), her oncologist or OBGYN should have absolutely tested her for this after she began remission. I'm angry that even though she talked with both about wanting to try for pregnancy that neither one of them thought to include this simple blood test that could've prevented this. The damage is done, and she had the injection tonight, so they can start trying again in about a month.

Life is so odd. And, shirtflirt, you're right; I don't really mean it. I would still have to give a hearty "fuck you" to Murphy and his stupid law. :)
quister
   quister on Oct 02 '09 at 8:31pm
So sorry for your family's suffering :(
But hope is maybe at hand, so I'll wish for future good news.
charity.ryan
charity.ryan on Oct 03 '09 at 1:33pm
At least they uncovered the problem. Doctors are annoying though--it's unfortunate that this had to happen for the proper testing to be done.
I forgot to mention before that the 2 people I knew who had miscarriages now have several healthy babies. I'm sure your sister will too. :)

Take care.:)

[+duracell-]
[+duracell-] on Oct 03 '09 at 1:40pm
new bumper sticker:

Work Harder
Ghetto trash, welfare-hogging, morons with piles of babies
Are Counting On You
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 05 '09 at 11:54am
YES. I think I need one (or several) of those... :) Too long for sloganing!
23 days later
charity.ryan
charity.ryan on Oct 28 '09 at 11:00pm
How's your sis doin becky??
bcrider
bcrider on Oct 29 '09 at 6:57am
:) Thanks for askin'! She's doing pretty well; I think just getting out and doing "normal" things helped her cope pretty well. She and her hubby are looking forward to trying again.
charity.ryan
charity.ryan on Oct 29 '09 at 9:53am
Glad to hear it--keep us posted. I hope sometime next year we'll see the "Yay! I'm an Aunt!" blog.:)
5 days later
ysy101
   ysy101 on Nov 03 '09 at 10:12am
I feel bad about complaining about anything now :( Here's a *hug* for you and your sister!
bcrider
bcrider on Nov 03 '09 at 10:15am
LOL

No, don't feel bad. Things are just as bad as they've gotten for that particular moment. :) Luckily, this moment is over and she's healing really well emotionally.

I'm still gonna complain about the sudden influx of "stupid" that seems to be apparent today at work!

Thanks for the hugs. :D
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