A pirate walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Gimme a pint of mead yahear?!"



The bartended looks at him and says, "You know you got a steering wheel shoved down the front of your pants"





Pirate replied, "Arrrgghhh, and it be drivin me nuts!"

a fish swam into a wal and said "damn!" (dam)

a dog barked at a mail guy one time

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?

Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Man 1: knock knock



Man 2: Who's there



Man 2: hello, who's there



Man 2: anybody?

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Impatient cow."

"Impati-"

"MOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Kookaberry

Kookaberry on May 21 '09 at 9:08pm

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.



I had to read that one twice, then lol.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?



Little kids don't like eating broccoli.

Three guys walk into a bar. Fourth guy ducks.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Impatient raisin."

"Impati-"

""

Want to hear a dirty joke?



A white horse fell in the mud.

Sam wins my foreverlove.

What's Mary short for?



She's got no legs.

want to hear a dirty joke? A kid falls in the mud

want to hear a clean joke? kid takes a bath with bubbles

want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is with Michael Jackson

How to you get a kleenex to dance?



But a little boggie in it.

i meant boogie. yeeeeeeesh.

How do you stop a rhino from charging?



Chop off its legs.

What did the alien say to the gardener?



Take me to your weeder.

WarDrobeInSpareOom on May 21 '09 at 10:29pm

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Impatient cow."

"Impati-"

"MOOOOOOOO!!!!"



It's INTERRUPTING cow!!



p.s. weird no one else usually knows that joke.

^ really? I've heard that joke approximately 55,000 times.

Didn't one of Kelsi's kindergarten kids say the interrupting cow joke in one of those funny things they say blogs? But I think they messed it up. Still, I think it was the first time I ever knew of it. Definitely did banana you glad I didn't say orange.



When I was that age I always liked,



Knock knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo who?

Aww, don't cry.

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:

"Man it's hot in here!!!!"

The other muffin exclaims,

"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

Kookaberry on May 22 '09 at 4:25am

WarDrobeInSpareOom on May 21 '09 at 10:29pm

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Impatient cow."

"Impati-"

"MOOOOOOOO!!!!"



It's INTERRUPTING cow!!



p.s. weird no one else usually knows that joke.



My sister told it to me as "impatient cow" ten years ago. Are you calling my sister a liar?