If I lose my life please put another quarter in me
of 41 votes, 29% like it
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I'm not even a household name in my own house
of 60 votes, 15% like it
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The value of a picture has been reduced to 140 characters
of 63 votes, 27% like it
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Growing up is the biggest mistake I've ever made
of 59 votes, 29% like it
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When in doubt start a chant for the smallest guy on the team
of 45 votes, 20% like it
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The guy behind me has no idea what this says
of 47 votes, 40% like it
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When in doubt BE AWESOME
of 46 votes, 35% like it
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After extensive research I've found procrastinating is more fun
of 60 votes, 35% like it
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Failure: the real key to success
of 48 votes, 31% like it
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Like I told you yesterday, I'll have it done by tomorrow
of 64 votes, 47% like it
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I believe in perpendicular universes
of 66 votes, 45% like it
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The smarter the phone, the dumber the operator
of 65 votes, 45% like it
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No kid ever said "when I grow up I want to work in a cubicle
of 68 votes, 46% like it
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I know where I'm going, I just don't know where I am.
of 50 votes, 58% like it
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Wings!
of 69 votes, 9% like it
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I wish I was as funny as you think you are
of 62 votes, 35% like it
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Sleeping is my favorite way to get through the morning
of 75 votes, 37% like it
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X marks the spot where I stopped understanding math
of 72 votes, 44% like it
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?: The official ending time of all great parties
of 60 votes, 28% like it
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I believe in hypnosis and so do you
of 80 votes, 40% like it
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Roman Numerals confuse IX out of X people, I'm not I of them
of 77 votes, 39% like it
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Ambidextrous people are right half of the time
of 64 votes, 45% like it
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Usually my shirts are awesome but today is laundry day
of 78 votes, 41% like it
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People who use too many emoticons make me :(
of 62 votes, 44% like it
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When zombies attack I play brain dead
of 71 votes, 52% like it
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I'm no psychic but I think I'm about to do something awesome
of 78 votes, 31% like it
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Sorry I'm late. I was up all night making excuses.
of 82 votes, 59% like it
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If boredom isn't a disease why is yawning contagious?
of 74 votes, 38% like it
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Growing up is not part of my 5 year plan.
of 87 votes, 39% like it
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One day I'm going to be famous. I hope it's a Saturday
of 72 votes, 49% like it
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I'll stop using cliches when pigs fly
of 82 votes, 43% like it
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Growing up was the biggest mistake I've ever made
of 77 votes, 55% like it
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Life is like a rollercoaster: biased against short people
of 81 votes, 40% like it
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I remember when making friends required more than a mouse click
of 77 votes, 38% like it
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Roman numerals confuse X out of IX people
of 82 votes, 61% like it
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I'm not sure how I feel about neutrality
of 82 votes, 50% like it
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Don't mind me I'm just here to create a diversion
of 78 votes, 59% like it
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I'm not good at making excuses, but I would be if I had more time
of 75 votes, 49% like it
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Of all the people that have read this, you're the most recent
of 88 votes, 44% like it
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Pay attention I'm about to do something epic
of 69 votes, 55% like it
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Every day is a chance to change the world, or at least your shirt
of 66 votes, 45% like it
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I'll stop procrastinating if it's the last thing I do
of 81 votes, 51% like it
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Running the last ten meters in slow motion cost me the gold
of 103 votes, 43% like it
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When push comes to shove you're using a thesaurus
of 46 votes, 50% like it
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Coming up with a new analogy is harder than ...
of 48 votes, 60% like it
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Today is my lucky day, if not I'll wear this shirt again tomorrow
of 63 votes, 57% like it
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Could someone please tell me what oblivious means
of 61 votes, 64% like it
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If you could hear the music in my head you'd be dancing too
of 85 votes, 72% like it
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Words are worth .001 pictures.
of 94 votes, 67% like it
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I forget why I'm here but I'm sure it was to do something awesome
of 85 votes, 61% like it
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aardvark: the extra a is for awesome
of 137 votes, 74% like it
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Going green is much more dangerous if you're a scientist
of 4 votes, 50% like it
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Potter hairy wizard's sleeve makes handy use of hiding hairballs
of 5 votes, 40% like it
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Libraries are the number one place where shh happens
of 312 votes, 68% like it
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running the last 10 meters in slow motion cost me the gold
of 342 votes, 74% like it
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Supervision isn't nearly as cool as it sounds
of 376 votes, 75% like it
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slow clap starter
of 279 votes, 53% like it
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Roman numerals confuse IX out of X people I'm not I of them
of 274 votes, 58% like it
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I "occasionally" use air quotes
of 337 votes, 73% like it
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