LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, BROS.

THOUSANDS OF FUCKIN’ YEARS AGO, SAMURAI WARRIORS RULED THE EARTH. THEY WERE TOTALLY BADASS. ALL THESE DUDES DID WAS FUCKIN’ PILLAGE AND PLUNDER. THEY FUCKIN’ DESTROYED EVERYTHING IN SIGHT WITH THEIR FUCKIN’ SAMURAI SWORDS AND THEY LIVED TO VIOLATE NATURE. THEY LIVED THIS WAY FOR CENTURIES, UNTIL MOTHER NATURE FINALLY HAD ENOUGH, STOOD UP AND SAID, “FUCK IT! I’M TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT!”

BROS, APPEARING IN A LARGER THAN LIFE HUMAN FORM, MOTHER NATURE TOWERED OVER THE TREES AND SUMMONED AN ARMY OF KICK FUCKIN’ ASS TIGERS. THE TIGERS GATHERED AROUND THE HILLSIDE WAITIN’ FOR THEIR INSTRUCTIONS, AND THEN MOTHER NATURE SPOKE TO THEM. “FUCK SHIT UP, MY CHILDREN,” SHE SAID. AND BROS, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID. FOR THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS, THE TIGER CLAN SLASHED AND CHEWED THROUGH EVERY FUCKIN’ SAMURAI WARRIOR IN EXISTENCE UNTIL THERE WERE NO MORE. THE BONES OF EVERY SINGLE WARRIOR WERE LEFT STRIPPED OF MEAT, STREWN THROUGHOUT THE FUCKIN’ LANDSCAPE AND THE RIVERS RAN RED WITH SAMURAI BLOOD.

BROS, NOT A SINGLE TIGER WAS HARMED THROUGHOUT THIS MASSACRE ‘CAUSE MOTHER NATURE LET THE TIGERS DRINK HER MILK, MAKIN’ THEM TOTALLY INVINCIBLE AND SHIT. CATS LOVE TO DRINK MILK, BROS. AND THESE BADASS, MOTHER FUCKIN’, BIG CATS GOT ALL THE FUCKIN’ MILK THEY COULD DRINK. STRAIGHT FROM MOTHER NATURE’S SPECTACULAR TITTIES.

WHAT YOU’RE LOOKIN’ AT ABOVE IS THE 4TH FIRESTORM DESIGN. IT’S CALLED, “MOTHER NATURE’S MILK” AND IT’S COLLABORATION BETWEEN ME AND KNEIL MELICANO (AKA ROADKILL3D.) THIS CONCEPT WASN’T EASY TO TRANSLATE ON PAPER… BUT ROADKILL3D KILLED IT! LET ME JUST SAY THAT KNEIL IS ONE KICKASS INDIVIDUAL AND THE CARE AND DETAIL HE PUTS INTO HIS WORK IS TOTALLY FUCKIN’ INSANE. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND CHECK OUT ALL THE KILLER WORK KNEIL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ON HIS WEBSITE… WWW.KNEILMELICANO.COM

ME AND ROADKILL3D WANT TO THANK LITTLEM FOR BEIN’ OUR HOT CHICK MODEL. SHE TOTALLY NAILED THE PHOTO! I ALSO WANT TO THANK KENNY FONSECA AGAIN FOR BEIN’ MY NUMBER ONE BRO AND HELPIN’ ME PHOTOHOUSE THE PRESENTATION PHOTO!

SOLID, BROS!

- DICK FIRESTORM



HEY BROS! CHECK OUT KNEIL'S PROCESS IN THIS ANIMATED FUCKIN' GIF!




VOTE ON EMPTEES!!!