Cookies fear me
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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Do i smell like chloroform to you?
of 5 votes, 20% like it
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freelance beer drinker
of 26 votes, 12% like it
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I aim to please and thank you.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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I am good at sleep
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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I am the voice of reason
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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I bet most gamblers don't even realize they have an addiction.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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I can sleep with my eyes closed
of 36 votes, 17% like it
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I hug noobs.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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I take showers naked.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
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i think it's safe to say, i don't feel very safe right now.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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I won the UK lottery!
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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I would take a bullet for me
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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I'm not in college, but I eat ramen every day
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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I've had it up to here with pancakes!
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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If I were a flower, would you smell me?
of 45 votes, 4% like it
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If it wasn't for this, I would be doing something else.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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If it's wrong to be right, then i don't want to be right.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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If you can't say anything nice, go jump off a bridge.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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Incredbly awesome in all 50 states
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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Legends never die, they just start to smell funny
of 34 votes, 9% like it
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Let no bad pun go unpunished.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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Let no good pun go unpunished.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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Lets avoid awkward glances at all costs.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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Live and die by the microwave
of 36 votes, 17% like it
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Macaroni art is where its at.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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mediocre at everything
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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mi casa, es mi casa
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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My mind is presently in a gutter
of 34 votes, 9% like it
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Not many people see me out of my superhero costume.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
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Nothing beats a cheap laugh at the cost of someone's self-respect
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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Part of the fun is not knowing.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Pop is bad for you
(but only if you drink it.)
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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reading is for nerds
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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remember me when you're famous
of 30 votes, 7% like it
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sarcasm, yeah that will get you far in life
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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Silence is actually silver
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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Sleeping is just one of my many talents
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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Split personality disorder drives my other self insane.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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Spoiler Alert! I'm Awesome
of 40 votes, 10% like it
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su casa es mi casa
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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There's a good chance that global warming may or may not exist.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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There's a method to my madness, i just haven't found it yet.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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Trying to be someone your not is a great way to meet new people
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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Unicorns are so unreal!
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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When no is looking, I make funny faces.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Why, yes i am captain obvious
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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Yes, my puns are intended.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Yoga, get bent
of 36 votes, 14% like it
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You are now at the end of the rainbow
of 34 votes, 12% like it
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You can sleep when you're dead... or when you're tired
of 53 votes, 13% like it
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You say procrastination, i say good things come those who wait.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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you say procrastination, i say good things come to those who wait
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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