Profile for JamieMelani - 20 Terrible Things I've Done.

JamieMelani aka Jamie Marshall is a 35.98 year old girl, has been a member since September 3, 2007, has scored 3,411 submissions, giving an average score of 1.31, helping 8 designs get printed.

URL: http://www.medicatedclothing.com

Sep 11 '07 by JamieMelani
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20 Terrible Things I've Done.

My magnum opus is yet to come I guess.

1. I used to make short films with my friends that mocked people we knew and thought were losers (Katie, April, and that kid with the bandana and sunglasses).

2. I poured bubble mix into my roommate's really expensive facial soap, hoping that her skin would break out.

3. When I was 4, I asked my mother how to spell "shit". I then sent a letter to my grandfather that said "SHIT" because I didn't like him. He opened it at a dinner with all of of his friends from church.

4. In second grade I trashed the class bathroom and blamed it on Jeff Eaton, the second worst kid in class (the worst kid was absent that day)

5. When a football player asked me if I wanted to go to the senior year Spring Fling, I said "With YOU? Ha!"

6. I ditched a girl with asthma once, just ran away from her in the middle of town in the middle of the night, as she shouted "Wait! Wait! I can't keep up! My asthma!"

7. I tried to get my friend to wet her pants by putting her hand in warm water while she was sleeping. When it didn't work, I just poured the water in between her legs and convinced her anyway. --she was very embarrassed.

8. In 5th grade I was the best artist in the class, and when we were supposed to draw pictures, I copied the girl who was sitting behind me, and made the whole class believe that SHE was copying ME. Everyone hated her.

9. I sent a series of secret admirer love notes to my junior high best friend and hinted that they were from the cutest boy in class. Ahh. Shawn Dalton. mmmm.

10. I convinced my college boyfriend not to go to law school and to follow his dream of being a stand up comic... last I heard, he was working at Chicken Hut.

11. My friends once took all of my shoes, tied the laces together in knots and left them strewn about my house with nasty notes in them. I don't remember what I did to deserve it, but it must have been bad.

12. I sent a Playboy subscription to a guy in hopes of embarrassing him in front of his housemates.

13. I sometimes shoplift just because I don't feel like waiting in the checkout line.

14. When the boy my friend and I both liked called me to ask me if my friend liked him, I told him she was gay.

15. Once I got a guy all hot and horny in a chat room and let him call me on the phone. Then I bitched him out for being a pervert.

16. When I was 9, I drew evil looking eyebrows on my little sister's face and told her they would wash off. They didn't (and I kind of knew they wouldn't)

17. I downloaded Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On".

18. When I was 3, I put on a gorilla mask and chased my best friend Matt around the house as he cried. He never came over again.

19. I intercepted a love note from a boy and read it aloud to my class. Then the kid got kicked out of class for threatening to kick my ass. Poor bastard.

20. Sometimes when I'm arguing, I make things up just to win...but only when I know I'm right.

I'm... sorry. (especially about number 17).

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canadianbeaver on Sep 11 '07 at 8:52am

great list

planethopper on Sep 11 '07 at 8:56am

Wow... that's pretty awful.

Tonteau on Sep 11 '07 at 8:59am

Haha! I greatly enjoyed reading this. I, too have done terrible things. But that's another matter.

fatheed on Sep 11 '07 at 9:00am

:-O

You're a complete turd!

impossiblejosh on Sep 11 '07 at 9:00am

you are pure evil, like a cartoon villan.

except for the pointy stash

sagral on Sep 11 '07 at 9:01am

you are the Antichrist!

loserbeech on Sep 11 '07 at 9:02am

'7. I tried to get my friend to wet her pants by putting her hand in warm water while she was sleeping. When it didn't work, I just poured the water in between her legs and convinced her anyway. --she was very embarrassed.'

I did that to my half brother, but I used orange juice, so that it would look the right colour. He didn't believe it anyway, he knew it was me. The worst part is, I knew my dad's girlfriend hated him so I got her to intercept him when he went to tell my dad. So she was extra mean to him, and I got off scot free. Sorry John.

planethopper on Sep 11 '07 at 9:03am

Give me time, I might be able to top this.

fatheed on Sep 11 '07 at 9:03am

So, when are you going to start atoning for this, Earl?

fatboyradio on Sep 11 '07 at 9:03am

17.. you bitch

rhyme-nocerous on Sep 11 '07 at 9:04am

ouch at #10.

trindli on Sep 11 '07 at 9:06am

i think number 17 is really really the worst somebody can do.. anything else can be excused but this?? shame on you :D

loserbeech on Sep 11 '07 at 9:07am

This is reminding me of all the dickheady things I did as a kid. And continue to do to this day. Thanks.

wotto on Sep 11 '07 at 9:11am

hahahahaha - the best blog i ever did read

sometimessane on Sep 11 '07 at 9:16am

"12. I sent a Playboy subscription to a guy in hopes of embarrassing him in front of his housemates."

this sounds like a nice thing to do.

JamieMelani on Sep 11 '07 at 9:35am

Three things to say:

1. The pointy stash is coming in the mail any day now (had to backorder it).

2. OJ? Why didn't I think of that? Eff me.

3. I've been atoning for all these (esp. #17) by only listening to jazz. All jazz, all the time. I hate it, but at least I know I'm smart and classy now.

phones on Sep 11 '07 at 10:11am

More! More!

guardia de mieux on Sep 11 '07 at 10:25am

Once while at the same job, I tattled on my girlfriend to my boss so that I could get two days off in a row. Otherwise, they would have split my days apart.

Still, that's sort of different from what you are doing, which is random acts of cruely for fun.

13strong on Sep 11 '07 at 10:25am

This just makes me think you're an irredeemable bitch.

Which I guess isn't fair. Hang on while I add it to my list...

Seriously though - you have been a pretty awful person. I think I'd struggle to get 20...

squintygirl on Sep 11 '07 at 10:29am

#11 makes me laugh. What do you mean you don't know what you did to deserve it? AHAHAHA!

loserbeech on Sep 11 '07 at 10:34am

Most of my sins involve a guy unexpectedly asking me out and me blurting out "um no thanks". And then him never speaking to me again.

littlem on Sep 11 '07 at 10:34am

12. I sent a Playboy subscription to a guy in hopes of embarrassing him in front of his housemates.

---------------

lucky guy! :P

Mike4507 on Sep 11 '07 at 10:36am

I ... well, I hate you.

Maybe?

impossiblejosh on Sep 11 '07 at 10:48am

there's nothing wrong with being a bitch.

andrea-janine on Sep 11 '07 at 10:53am

I love going down to the elementary school, watching all the kids jump and shout, but they dont know Im using blanks. - Jack Handey

Bramish on Sep 11 '07 at 10:55am

I hate that kid with the bandana and sunglasses! He should take a leaf out of Jeff Eaton's book.

impossiblejosh on Sep 11 '07 at 10:55am

"13strong --I think I'd struggle to get 20..."

everybody has done more than 20 terrible things in this lifetime, i dont think your an excepption.

unless your sainthood is under a different pseudonym

andrea-janine on Sep 11 '07 at 11:01am

I once made a caserole out of orphans, then took it to an old folks home,pretending to be generous. After feeding it to one of the inhabitants I showed them proof that they had just eaten orphans, when they started freaking out I destroyed the evidence and acted as if they had just gone crazy, and I didn't understand why, so that the person had to be taken to the psych ward. The overwhelming stress of the incident caused the whole building to explode just after I left. As I drove away I had a pang of remorse when I realized I'd left my sunglasses inside.

lemonalle on Sep 11 '07 at 11:07am

i've only done mean things to people who i've thought were assholes. but i feel bad about them now.

one time, at nerd camp, my new buddies and i stuck this girl's toothbrush in a pee-filled toilet because we thought she was a snob.

spires on Sep 11 '07 at 11:15am

I made someone cry on the blogs before. That's pretty bad.

You seem to set out to do mean things.

lemonalle on Sep 11 '07 at 11:16am

another time i told my dad that my brother was the one who broke the tape deck to his computer (back when they had tape decks) and my brother got spanked so hard. that really really made me feel guilty. i still get a twinge just thinking about it.

andrea-janine on Sep 11 '07 at 11:22am

Two friends and I once died a friend's little sister's hamster pink because we were bored. Despite carefully and gently washing it off after, her parents now think two of us are the anti-christ and said if we go near their house again they will get us arrested. The third person got off scott-free because the friend had a crush on him, so the parents already thought he was flawless, and therefore must have been tricked into participated by our evilness (did I mention that these parents were really scary and psycho)

andrea-janine on Sep 11 '07 at 11:24am

there family spent the next few months working on hate mail (the way some would work on a scrap book).. I'm actually, sadly, 100% serious about this one.

andrea-janine on Sep 11 '07 at 11:24am

*their

JamieMelani on Sep 11 '07 at 11:27am

Andrea: That's horrible. Tell me they weren't Gucci. Please. Please, let them have been... Ralph Lauren.

Bramish: Hahaha! As the kids are saying these days: bump! (That IS what they're saying these days isn't it? Isn't it? Am I cool yet? "Bump?")

Everyone else: I'm lucky to be so hated. Hating is the sincerest form of flattery. Wait. No. That's "Imitation." Dammit! Regardless, my heart WILL go on.

JamieMelani on Sep 11 '07 at 11:40am

And who eats a dog treat just because you offer it to them? They deserve what they get.

spires on Sep 11 '07 at 11:44am

Stop being so modest. People love this sort of 'now i feel better about myself' kind of blog. They love you.

kayceislost on Sep 11 '07 at 11:44am

Jackanapes mk.II on Sep 11 '07 at 10:03am

This really made me feel better about myself.

ha, me too. damn.

JamieMelani on Sep 11 '07 at 11:55am

They love me? They really really love me? Do you think I'll be elected homecoming queen? Where is the Big Man on Campus? I think he might notice me now (fingers crossed!)

professorE on Sep 11 '07 at 12:09pm

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

catdogpigduck on Sep 11 '07 at 12:22pm

marry me!

avalanche_lily on Sep 11 '07 at 1:19pm

So your mom actually told you how to spell shit???

squintygirl on Sep 11 '07 at 1:20pm

That's the kind of mum I want to be. Sort of.

amy122166 on Sep 11 '07 at 1:25pm

In the 3rd grade I pured glue into a boy box of crayons when he was absent, anticipating whatwould happen the next day.

In the sixth grade i shot rubberband repeatedly at this kid and after he collected them all, i raised my hand and told the teacher i had been hit by a rubberband and pointed to the kid with the rubberbands in his hands.

i was so very evil as a child.

skafiend007 on Sep 11 '07 at 1:30pm

Hi, Jamie?... Karma just called. It said it's running a little late but it should be here in a year or two.

skafiend007 on Sep 11 '07 at 1:41pm

10 Terrible Things I've Done

1. Pushed a guy in front of a train because I didn't like his shoes.

2. Kept moving a blind guy's Coke a little further from his hand every time he drank from it at McDonald's

3. Made a homeless guy make out with a dog for $10

4. Sold govenment secrets to North Korea for a knockoff Spongebob Squarepants t-shirt

5. Put a bike lock on a woman's wheelchair and dangled the key just out of her reach.

6. Gave a nun herpes... on purpose.

7. Introduced Whitney Houston to Bobby Brown

8. Told a second grader her parents died in a horrible car accident and that she was supposed to go to the forest to live by herself for the rest of her life

9. Peed on a Girl Scout's cookies...those coconut covered ones

10. That whole weapons of mass destruction thing...

melhel86 on Sep 11 '07 at 1:53pm

wow you are pretty cruel. Even your friends seem to notice.

I once knocked a hole in the wall when I was drunk, I blamed my little sister... and she actually admitted to it when my dad questioned her. No idea.

I mean I did the frozen underwear thing and messed with my friends heads a bit but all in all, I've never been purposely evil. You on the other hand...

JamieMelani on Sep 11 '07 at 7:17pm

Just to reassure you, I never intended to be purposely mean either. At the time I thought I had a perfectly good reason for doing whatever I did (with the exception of #17).

JamieMelani on Sep 11 '07 at 7:19pm

And if anyone wants to post their own list here, go for it.

pyr4lis on Sep 11 '07 at 7:32pm

lol I know I've done evil things but can't recall many of them. These are probably the worst things that I can remember doing:

**Once when I was really young like 10 and my little brother was 6 I dared him to run his cast iron pedal tractor off the edge of our porch like they do with cars in the movies. The porch had like a 13 foot drop too... which somehow my brother escaped unscathed.

** Umm I put dog food on a girl at a sleep over party when she fell asleep so she would wake up with dog drool all over her.

**And well I don't call my dad much cause I hate my stepmom and I hate her two spoilt kids and I hate my half brother... he's like 7 or something and I don't even know when his birthday is since I've never sent a card or present. But I can get away with it because I live 3,000 miles away from them.

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