The revolution will be preempted by a special news bulletin.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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We interrupt this televised revolution for a news bulletin.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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Where's that giant planet-killing meteor when you need it?
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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I miss the days when a blackberry was just a fruit.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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I'll stick with the old black, thank you.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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I lost my mind when my skull decided to outsource.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
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I'm not stubborn, I'm just right all the time.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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I don't believe in hypnotism, it's HOW MAY I SERVE YOU, MASTER?
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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Hyperbole is so overrated.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
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STOP CARING. It's done wonders for me.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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Nuclear Physics or Stand-Up Comedy: you can bomb either way.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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Just lead me to the desserts and no one has to suffer.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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The future of weight loss lies in mass destruction.
of 10 votes, 0% like it
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Mass Destruction: the ultimate weight-loss program.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Can you turn down the volume on the soundtrack of your life?
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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I'm into World Domination. No leather or whips required.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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Crush! Kill! Destroy! Then Brunch.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Go away, I'm busy being unproductive.
of 8 votes, 38% like it
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Of course I care! Oh wait, I'm thinking of someone else.
of 9 votes, 44% like it
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OBJECTION! Sorry, I've just always wanted to say that.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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Betcha ten bucks I'll never gamble again.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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fI uoy nac daer siht, uoy thgim eb cixelsyd.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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Party like it's 1984
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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Tell Google Earth to stop spying on my house.
of 20 votes, 50% like it
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I'm not a doctor, I just watch dozens of medical shows.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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Who needs a medical degree when you have reruns of doctor shows?
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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If you like me as I am now, you should see the unrated version.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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Writers like it rough-drafted.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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I'm just watching for the twist ending.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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Predicting the apocalypse spoils the ending.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
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I'm your blues, brother.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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Just keep throwing fireballs till your super meter is full.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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If I should die before I wake, be sure to shut off my alarm clock
of 21 votes, 48% like it
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I see your stupid question and raise you a stupid answer.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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I demand a demonstration with puppets.
of 19 votes, 42% like it
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It's not really "common" sense if nobody's using it.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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I'm not coming out till someone hits my entrance music.
of 24 votes, 42% like it
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The Queen left for the Knight and stuck me with the check, mate.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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See in standard-def. Think in HD.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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The knight is darkest just before the pawn.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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I'm the eighth word you can't say on television.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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You are perfectly entitled to your mistaken opinion.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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Ignorance is... something-or-other.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Mob Mentality: Because 100 judgmental psychos can't be wrong.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
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The soundtrack of your life is stuck inside my head.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
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Ladders get me high.
of 24 votes, 38% like it
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Call me if you need me. Also, don't need me.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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Please shut your mouth before I Photoshop it off your face.
of 29 votes, 59% like it
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I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. [CTRL-Z]
of 25 votes, 28% like it
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Real gamers use cartridges.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
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Please take note of my brilliance for future reference.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
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I'm so retro I haven't been born yet.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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I'm the Before. Care to join me for the After?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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I will NOT get off my high horse (It took me to forever get here)
of 29 votes, 14% like it
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My mind's an open book (but I can't get past the title page).
of 30 votes, 27% like it
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CAUTION: Contents may break into song at any moment.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
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WARNING: Contains adult language and snide commentary.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
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You're trying to make sense again. Stop that.
of 45 votes, 31% like it
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I no longer fear Hell, for I have worked customer service.
of 46 votes, 35% like it
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I'm unrated with hours of special features.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
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