WARNING! Long-winded, nonsensical rant ahead.

Dear NBC,

Thank you for at long last tipping your hand and revealing to the world that talent shows are rigged.

This, and only this, explains how Kevin Skinner just won America's Got Talent.

I will give Mr. Skinner all the credit in the world; his audition performance was pretty good. Not great, good. Unfortunately, all the passion and emotion he was praised for in his audition dissolved in subsequent performances. I'd even go as far as saying they got worse each stage of the competition. His rendition of "You Are Always On My Mind" was flat and lifeless, and the less said about his version of "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" the better.

Any other season, any other contestant, this would have gotten the guy a sound tongue-lashing from Piers (whose characteristic douchebaggery would in this case be justified) and voted off the show. Yet week in and week out Skinner was praised by the judges as an "instant star" and a "front-runner".

And tonight, standing side-by-side with Barbara Padilla, a more interesting personality to say nothing of her superior singing ability, his mediocrity was rewarded with one million dollars and a Las Vegas show.

I can understand the reasoning: Kevin Skinner is a good ol' boy whose home situation made for a great rags-to-riches story; a classic coming to fruition of the American Dream. And this in itself wouldn't be so bad if it was backed up by his actual talent, which is just plain sorely lacking.

So allow me to recap: you passed up a photogenic opera singer, the reincarnation of Barry White, a raunchy senior citizen stand-up act, and a batsh*t insane mile-a-minute drum act, for a chicken catcher with an okay voice at best who sings like he's not even trying and sounds it too.

The only reason I keep watching NBC at this point is Conan O'Brien.

And Chuck.

And Law & Order.

And SVU.

...

...Ah, f*ck it.