'I'm quoted a lot.' - Anonymous
of 60 votes, 32% like it
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'People need to be original and stop quoting me.' - Anonymous
of 44 votes, 20% like it
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(in really small text) Are you making fun of Asians?
of 64 votes, 23% like it
|
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(in sign-like format) LOST MIND REWARD $$$
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
(mirrored text) Only mirrors can read this.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
|
(on a picket sign) Down with gravity!
of 33 votes, 12% like it
|
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(on a picket sign) Picket fences against picketing!
of 41 votes, 27% like it
|
(on back of shirt) I'm retired. Go around me.
of 9 votes, 33% like it
|
(on front)Frankie says relax. (on back)DO IT.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
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(vintagey look) I hate fake vintage shirts.
of 47 votes, 28% like it
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.drah ot gniyrt er'uoy ,siht daer nac uoy fI
of 38 votes, 29% like it
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1/1 odds are lame.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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691/Alien/Mars/Single
of 2 votes, 50% like it
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9 out of 10 people agree, "Who cares?"
of 29 votes, 28% like it
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999: The hallucinating and confused number of the beast.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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A bunch of things are > Sliced Bread
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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Actually, this town has ample space for the two of us.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
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Albino: The original Snow White.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
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Albinos: The original white meat.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
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Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
of 61 votes, 26% like it
|
Alexander Clam Bell invented the Shell Phone.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
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All hail taxis!
of 29 votes, 21% like it
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All you do at democratic parties is pin the tail on the donkey.
of 43 votes, 26% like it
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Antiques: Not old, charming!
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
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Apparently, screaming into a microphone is considered music.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
|
As a child, Waldo never stood out among his teachers.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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At least I don't bite the heads off of bats.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
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At Legoland, things cost an armo and a lego.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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Atlas had a lot of weight on his shoulders.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
|
Being an elevator sure has its ups and downs
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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Being fat isn't phat.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
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Boy, that coffin was small.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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Boycott Silent Consonants Because Their Just Not Rite!
of 32 votes, 16% like it
|
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Brains are just purple noodles that are squished together.
of 75 votes, 29% like it
|
Canteens: The positive adolescents.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
Caps lock is a passwords worst enemy.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Ceci n'est pas une sentence.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Censorship is a b****.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
|
Children are just small adults.
of 56 votes, 21% like it
|
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Circles are so square.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Circles are totally pointless.
of 62 votes, 27% like it
|
Constellations are how ancient philosophers did connect the dots.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
|
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Crash testing is for dummies.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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Crime doesn't pay. And neither does volunteering.
of 63 votes, 27% like it
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Deadliness is next to Godliness.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
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Deaf Mathemeticians Use Sine Language.
of 63 votes, 25% like it
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Demons need to excorsize in order to keep fit.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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Denim: It's in your genes.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
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Denim: It's in your jeans.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Do chickens run around like humans with their heads cut off?
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
Does this shirt make my muscles look too big?
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
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Dogs get ticked off easily.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Dogs like to rotf, but I dont think they laugh.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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Don't judge a book by its cover. Judge it by the art on the cover
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
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Don't jump! Run, then jump!
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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Don't make me capture you with my Pokeball!
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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Don't worry, if you start bleeding I'll put this around the wound
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
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Don't worry. I have a cricket recording for the upcoming silence.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
Don't yawn. Yawning is bad. Yaaaaaaawn.
of 27 votes, 7% like it
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Don't you wish your t-shirt was threadless like mine?
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Dora got her Bachelors in Exploring.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
|
Double negatives are not not dumb
of 58 votes, 26% like it
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Dreadlocks have nothing to do with having a fear of locks.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
|
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Drugs: They take you places.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
|
Dumb fairy took my tooth!
of 29 votes, 28% like it
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Dumb jokes are pointless. So are circles.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
|
|
Dungeons & Dragons helped me become ruler of a fictional coun
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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Dungeons and Dragons. Right here, right now.
of 63 votes, 22% like it
|
Emo kids are such cut-ups.
of 54 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Encyclo or wiki?
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Even though I have a bicycle, I'm still straight.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
Every time you blink I'm naked.
of 69 votes, 23% like it
|
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Every time you read this, it will say something different.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
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Evidence: It proves stuff.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
|
Fat People: Since whenever McD's was created.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
|
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Film: The only thing that loves being exposed.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
|
Fire: No matter how friendly he tries to be, no one likes him.
of 49 votes, 27% like it
|
Fish find nets to be quite catchy.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
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Fix the world, buy duct tape!
of 41 votes, 20% like it
|
Flamingoes are just transvestite penguins.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
Flying isn't hard, but the ground sure is.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
|
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Fonts have faces too!
of 30 votes, 23% like it
|
For some reason, my insurance doesn't cover cootie shots.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
Fortune cookies and emailed horoscopes are my life coaches.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Frankly, I don't care what you did last Summer.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
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Get fat! No one will kidnap you!
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
Gibberish n. 1. Fbhdbfl hebbd 2. Urgblqann frabc
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
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Golly-Gee-Whiz! I love retro interjections!
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
Gospel music without robes and bleachers is like a dumb analogy.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
Guess what? Gallus domesticus butt!
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Guns don't kill people. Pandas do.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
|
Haikus, robots, book ruining movies, and non-existent bands.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
Hairdryers: A snowmans nightmare.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
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Hell: Fire's number one employer.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
|
Hermits don't have peer pressure.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
of 59 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Hitmen would kill to get money.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
Homeless people do not fear change.
of 63 votes, 27% like it
|
Hula Hoops: A circular plastic thingy.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I am Banksy.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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I bet you can't find the spelling mistake on this shirt...
of 48 votes, 35% like it
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I bleed awesome.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
|
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I break the ice with a hammer.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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I can has proper grammar?
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
I can make you think of anything. Chuck Norris rollerblading.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
|
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I can read your mind. You're thinking, "No you can't."
of 63 votes, 41% like it
|
I can rhyme in Morse Code.
of 60 votes, 23% like it
|
I can't sing, but I can break windows in other ways.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
|
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I can't throw a boomerang.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
I couldn't help it! The glue tasted like frosting!
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
I did some research, and gullible is actually in the dictionary
of 73 votes, 40% like it
|
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I discovered an unknown island! It's called Gullibulia.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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I don't code websites. I give birth to them.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
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I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit
of 57 votes, 26% like it
|
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I don't talk to myself. Yes you do!
of 30 votes, 13% like it
|
I don't think Humpty Dumpty fell, I think Humpty jumpty.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
|
I don't wear diapers. . .
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I drink energy drinks in hope of boosting my HP.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
I f I shot a sheriff, I probably wouldn't write a song about it.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
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I figured you'd read this.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I find elevators to be very uplifting.
of 63 votes, 24% like it
|
I freaking love knitting.
of 43 votes, 28% like it
|
I get insulted when people compare my life to cherries.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I give into peer pressure to move up in social status.
of 43 votes, 23% like it
|
I had so much pun at the comedy show.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
I hate all generalizations.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I hate it when people use not good grammar.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
I have a pokeball and I'm not afraid to use it!
of 32 votes, 28% like it
|
I have abs. They're just being protected by a nice layer of fat.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
|
I have never screamed for ice cream.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
|
I Hear There's A 75% Chance Of Small Talk About The Weather.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
|
I just can't wait to procrastinate!
of 57 votes, 21% like it
|
|
I keep my lips chapped because i think they look snazzy in pants.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
I know what you did last summer. We went to Wyoming, remember?
of 32 votes, 22% like it
|
I like to comfort the disturbed, and disturb the comfortable.
of 62 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I like to pretend I'm wearing this shirt.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
I like to think of my shower as a recording studio.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
|
I lost my floaties.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I made up my own language. It's called Gulliblia.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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I make up my own dance moves
of 41 votes, 27% like it
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I may be 70% water but I'm 100% awesome.
of 59 votes, 29% like it
|
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I never make exceptions, except for now.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
|
I never say things that contradict themselves. Except for now.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
|
I prefer the dark side because it's extremely eco-friendly.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
|
|
I prefer to fight fire with water.
of 59 votes, 24% like it
|
I put the Bad in Badminton.
of 58 votes, 28% like it
|
I rly h8 it when ppl use ch4tsp34k.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I scream in silent auctions
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
I steal purses from elderly ladies.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
I throw the best tea parties.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I tought my pet zombie to play dead.
of 47 votes, 40% like it
|
I trademark stuff to seem important.™
of 53 votes, 21% like it
|
I try things at home when they tell me not to.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I wake up when I'm tired of sleeping.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
I was in a terrible accident. And no, not with a car.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
I was your imaginary friend.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I wish my cheese was emo because then it would cut itself.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
I won the 3.14 eating contest.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
I would like to propose a toast to toast.
of 88 votes, 39% like it
|
|
I'd like to think that I'm pretty fly.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
I'll be signing autographs later today.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
I'M A HEAVY DRINKER (in small text below it) of water.
of 49 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I'm a nudist, and this is a tattoo.
of 45 votes, 22% like it
|
I'm a psychic; Right now you're reading my shirt. Am I right?
of 143 votes, 37% like it
|
I'm an experiment gone wrong.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
|
I'm from the future... and sorry, you didn't make it.
of 61 votes, 21% like it
|
I'm just like a superhero but with no powers or motivation.
of 76 votes, 30% like it
|
I'm like a superhero, but with no powers or motivation
of 68 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I'm like superhero, but with no powers or motivation.
of 61 votes, 23% like it
|
I'm not being pessimistic, I'm being realistic.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
I'm not ignorant, I'm just right all of the time.
of 6 votes, 50% like it
|
|
I'm not senile, I just talk to myself and have a bunch of cats.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
I'm not trying to seem cool or anything but, I do my math in pen.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
|
I'm only here because my internet isn't working.
of 60 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I'm only here for the free Wi-Fi.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
I'm so emo, I was cutting in the womb.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
I'm so indie, I don't even listen to music.
of 63 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I'm so old-fashioned, I still have a phone with a cord!
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
I'm wanted by the FBI for excessive mattress-tag ripping
of 51 votes, 35% like it
|
I'm with stupid [arrow pointing up]
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I've ever seen anyone scream for ice cream.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
I've tried to cut down exaggerating a billion times!
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
If a cow laughed would milk come out of its nose?
of 30 votes, 43% like it
|
|
If couch potatoes eat potato chips, are they cannibals?
of 68 votes, 29% like it
|
If crime payed, I'd be really rich.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
If I have a tricycle, does that make me trisexual?
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
|
If I was a cannibal, you'd be the main course.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
If I were president, a, e, o, and u, would feel left out.
of 43 votes, 26% like it
|
If I were you, I wouldn't be me.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
|
|
If it weren't for Thomas Edison, we'd be watching TV in the dark.
of 60 votes, 28% like it
|
If Latin is a dead language, where is it buried?
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests..?
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
|
If we all held hands, we could play a huge game of red rover.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
|
If you can read this I'm not a very good nudist.
of 72 votes, 26% like it
|
If you can read this, I guess I'm not hermit.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
|
If you can read this, you're in my pouncing range.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
|
If you read this over and over, it's like an animated gif!
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
If you shot a sheriff, why would you write a song about it?
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
|
If you think I have no life, you should see my website.
of 43 votes, 28% like it
|
If you wanna see pigs fly, strap bacon to a balloon.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
|
If you're happy and you know it, please, keep it to yourself.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
|
|
If you're reading this, you're in my pouncing range.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
|
If you're thinking what I'm thinking, you're a copycat.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Ima shank y'all! Shortly after I play Polo at the Country Club.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Ima shank y'all! Shortly after I play polo Country Club.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
In communist Russia, you no read shirt! Shirt read you!
of 38 votes, 24% like it
|
Indiana pwns.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Instant H2O, just add water!
of 53 votes, 21% like it
|
Instant Human: Just add coffee!
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
It doesn't sound as cool if call it the fake guitar.
of 68 votes, 29% like it
|
|
It doesn't sound as cool if you call it a fake guitar.
of 96 votes, 39% like it
|
It doesn't sound as cool if you call it the fake guitar.
of 80 votes, 31% like it
|
It is capricious observing you attempting to decipher this tee.
of 8 votes, 63% like it
|
|
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a cliche!
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
It's a bird! It's a plane! No, wait, it is a bird.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
|
It's just safer if I assume you know karate.
of 63 votes, 25% like it
|
|
It's only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.
of 47 votes, 34% like it
|
It's Winnie the Pooh because Winnie the Crap didn't catch on.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
Jack and Jill went up a hill to burn calories.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Jackalopes: wtf?
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
Jamaican noodles are Pastafanarian.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
|
Jesus was just a Jewish zombie.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Judge me by the sentence on my shirt.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
|
Just because I have a bicycle doesn't mean I'm bi.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
Just give the rabbit some freaking cereal... jeez.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Killing two birds with one stone is a felony with out a permit.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
|
King Clouds rain over their empire.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
|
Kiss me, I'm just another uncreative cliché.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Knowing is half the battle. The other half is killing people.
of 59 votes, 27% like it
|
Land: It's Like The Ocean-Floor, But Less Watered Down.
of 60 votes, 28% like it
|
Latin was a good language. But now, it's in a better place.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
|
Leci ne cest pas un sentence. Waite, oui et es.. wtf?
of 27 votes, 7% like it
|
Leprechauns are just Irish midgets.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
Let's do this Mary Poppins style.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Let's form a tag team.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
|
Life is fair if you're a carney.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
|
Lower your carbon footprint. Shut up!
of 83 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Lungs take my breath away.
of 57 votes, 23% like it
|
Magic Is Everything Science Has Yet To Ruin.
of 62 votes, 26% like it
|
Magic is just stuff science hasn't made boring yet.
of 62 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Mannequins are such posers.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
Middle Age Mutant Ninja Turtles!
of 59 votes, 25% like it
|
Mimes are like farts; They're silent but deadly.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Mimes need to start thinking outside of the box.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Mimes need to start thinking outside of the box.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
Mine goes up to 12.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Minimalism keeps this shirt from being cool.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, this is the worst cliche of all.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
Mmm, Ctrl+v.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Mr. Rogers and Dumbledore loved having playdates!
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
Mr. Roygbiv was a very colorful man.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
My alphabet soup tells me to do stuff.
of 72 votes, 29% like it
|
|
My artificial limbs costed an arm and a leg.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
My business card says, 'Special Skills in Awesome'.
of 62 votes, 29% like it
|
My calculator is a pervert.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
|
MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS STUCK.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
|
My car was arrested for drunk driving.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
My chainsaw could beat you rock, paper and scissors
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
|
My conspiracy theory is better than yours!
of 58 votes, 26% like it
|
My dog is my therapist.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
|
My fortune cookie said someone would read my shirt today.
of 48 votes, 29% like it
|
|
My hockey mom could beat up your soccer mom.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
|
My horoscope said not to be superstitious.
of 25 votes, 40% like it
|
My ice cream senses are tingling.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
|
|
My internet was down so I thought I'd come outside today.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
|
My parents didn't have any children.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
My shirt would totally own your shirt in a duel.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
|
My shirt's a magnet, and you're the metal.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
My therapist says I'm really improving.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
My tongue has great taste.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
|
|
Nebraska is exciting.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
Ninjas, Mimes and Cholesterol: The silent killers.
of 61 votes, 34% like it
|
No need to fear, because nothing's going on here!
of 31 votes, 29% like it
|
|
No need to fear, Onomatopoeia-Man is here! *SWOOSH*
of 31 votes, 29% like it
|
No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.
of 57 votes, 25% like it
|
No. 2 is #1 if you're a pencil.
of 63 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Nunchucks do not involve chucking nuns.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
|
Officer, it was the kitten, I swear!
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
Okay, your Indian name is: Human who reads shirt.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Olde English is Okaye.
of 63 votes, 25% like it
|
Once I tried being a nudist, but then I got out of the shower.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Only idiots read shirts.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Only literates can read this.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
|
Overrating stuff is overrated.
of 53 votes, 21% like it
|
Pandora's Box was just a really, really creepy Jack-in-the-box
of 40 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Parlez-vous francais? Me neither.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
|
Parlez-vous francais? Me neither.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
Pencils are Erasist!
of 38 votes, 18% like it
|
|
People fun confusing is.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
People might call you a cut-up if you walk on broken glass.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
Peter Piper was very picky about his pickled peppers.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Peter Piper was very picky.
of 77 votes, 34% like it
|
Phobiaphobia: The fear of phobias.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
|
Pickled Peppers?
of 29 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Pinatas are the victims of child abuse.
of 58 votes, 29% like it
|
Pole-vaulters are raising the bar.
of 56 votes, 20% like it
|
Poop is just body chocolate.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Puns are dumb... you just looked for one didn't you?
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
Pyromaniacs love it in Hell.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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Queston marks make me doubt myself?
of 61 votes, 26% like it
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Rats are just really ugly mice.
of 65 votes, 29% like it
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Real Men Moisturize.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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Remainders: The neglected and unloved cousins of the dividend.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
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Reverse Pshychology. ygolohcyhsP
of 61 votes, 25% like it
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Riddles make me look dumb.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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Rubberbands are ammo for hand guns.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
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Running is good for your health. Unless it's from the police.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
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Sadistic 8 year old + Magnifying glass = Ant Armageddon
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Santa's Elves make minimum wage.
of 60 votes, 23% like it
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Save the whales. You never know when we might run out of food.
of 59 votes, 25% like it
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Save the whales... For later.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
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Scientists call Pluto a dwarf planet. I call it Pluto.
of 63 votes, 24% like it
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Screw the polar bears, my snowman is melting!
of 29 votes, 28% like it
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Semi-Colons are just gifted Colons.
of 41 votes, 27% like it
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She should have sold her seashells further inland.
of 63 votes, 37% like it
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Shhh, I'm hiding.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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Shoelaces always be trippin' fool!
of 62 votes, 29% like it
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Silence may be golden, but noise is silver.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
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Simon is bossy.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Simon says you're reading my shirt.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
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Slogans are almost as annoying as analogies.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Slogans are almost as annoying as hypocritical analogies.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
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Sloth: The furriest of the seven deadly sins.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
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So, um, like yeah and stuff.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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Someone famous touched this shirt, so now it's worth a lot.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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Sometimes, I pretend I am an airplane.
of 59 votes, 29% like it
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Spacesareoverrated.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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SPCA: Sasquatch Protection Coalition of America
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Spices do the Salsa really well.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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Strangers have the coolest vans.
of 58 votes, 24% like it
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Stuff > Sliced Bread
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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Stuff is cheaper when you make more money.
of 88 votes, 28% like it
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STUPID CAPS LOCK.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
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Tagging: The urban way of marking your territory.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
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Tagging: The urban way to mark your territory.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises just never really caught on.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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Television remotes are such control freaks.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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The bug under the rug was actually quite uncomfortable.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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The devil parties like it's 1666.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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The excuse ate my homework!
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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The guy in the noose wanted a high-five, but I left him hanging.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
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The light it bur-- Oh, it actually feels pretty nice.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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The London Bridge fell down due to faulty architecture.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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The moon is just a giant celestial cheese.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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The police said I'm not supposed to be here.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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These words are not here.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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These words are not here.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
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They should make memory foam pills for Alzheimers patients.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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This is 992 words short of a picture.
of 60 votes, 23% like it
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This is completely pointless.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
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This is funny.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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This is my parachute.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
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This is my secret identity tee. I wear it when I'm being secret.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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This is my urban armor.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
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This is really a coat, and on the inside are lots of fake watches
of 31 votes, 23% like it
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This isn't ink. It's unicorn blood.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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This shirt used to be a bear. Seriously.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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Thisi s what hapwmens wehhn i typpe fats,.
of 7 votes, 29% like it
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Time travelers have nostalgia for the future.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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Tip #67: You can never go wrong with a mullet.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
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Toungue twisting is actually an ancient method of purification.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Trademarking stuff is dumb.™
of 46 votes, 28% like it
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Trains are just Loco with a Motive.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
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Unicorns are just horses with a spike in their face.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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Vacuums totally suck.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
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Voting is just a fancy way of raising your hand.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
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Waves are a sand castles worst enemy.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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We get it. You're just a bill.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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What if I said this shirt was a bear trained to attack people?
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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What if there were no hypothetical situations.
of 72 votes, 33% like it
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When daisies die, what do they push up?
of 30 votes, 27% like it
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When I'm not plotting destruction, I knit, crochet, or bake.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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When life gives you cliches, make clicheade!
of 37 votes, 22% like it
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When you get to the end of this sentence, read it again.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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While the person was typing this, they forgo
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Who ever invented a fireplace sucks at coming up with names.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
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Who's Soldier Boy?
of 15 votes, 27% like it
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Why buy a stairway to heaven when you could get an elevator?
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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Why do we sing songs about having hammers?
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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Why the heck would a cat have my toungue?
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Why would anybody sing a song about walking on broken glass?
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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Without 'Fun' It Would Just Be 'eral'
of 62 votes, 23% like it
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Without geography, you're nowhere.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
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Women don't poop.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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Working out didn't work out for me.
of 59 votes, 29% like it
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Would you like to frolic in a field of daisies with me?
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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You and me should form a tag team.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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You might have a gun, but I could beat you in a game of chess.
of 58 votes, 24% like it
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You probably can't recognize me without my cape.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
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You scream for ice cream? Oh, that's not weird.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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You squint your eyes when you read.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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You voted me off that dumb reality show last year!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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You're an immature poopyface!
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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You're just a bill. We get it.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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You're reading this because you thought it would be funny, right?
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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Zombies survive on brain power alone.
of 41 votes, 27% like it
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[on back] You can't catch me!
of 15 votes, 27% like it
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[on the back on a post-it] Lick me!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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