"Buddy": Taking credit for your good jobs since 1984.
of 43 votes, 35% like it
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'No News is Good News' Explains Why I Don't Watch the News.
of 35 votes, 46% like it
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...Then We Should Start Looking Over The Sun....
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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1 Out of 20 Gamers Share My Quest.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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31 Courses Later, I'm a Rocky Road Scholar...
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Actually, I Get a Kick Out of Restless Leg Syndrome.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
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All Play And No Work Makes Jack a Poor Boy.
of 8 votes, 38% like it
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Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Zombie Hunter packin' an AK-47...
of 31 votes, 42% like it
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Ask Me Why Questions Drive Me Crazy
of 43 votes, 23% like it
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Back in the Day, We Just Called it "School".
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Cannibalism?! Not If I Were The Last Zombie On Earth!
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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Collective Consciousness Switchboard Operator.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Curiosity: It Cuts Nine Lives Deep.
of 11 votes, 0% like it
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Does This Extra Weight Make Me Look Fat?
of 43 votes, 40% like it
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Don't Worry... I Speak Typonese.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Double Speak Never Gets Not Young
of 42 votes, 29% like it
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Dude, I'll Decide When To Stop Saying 'Dude', Dude.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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Ellipses: Keeping things vague since....
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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Ellipses: Making lazy communication easier for me since....
of 20 votes, 0% like it
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Energy Vampires: The Electric Company's Lifeblood.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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Fire Crackers: Not As Tasty As They Are Dangerous
of 57 votes, 39% like it
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Flying By the Seat of Your Pants May Mean No Peanuts.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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Flying By the Seat of Your Pants Violates Several FAA Rules.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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For Whatever I'm About To Do, I'm Sorry
of 41 votes, 29% like it
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Get Away From It All... Vacation in Limbo.
of 44 votes, 43% like it
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Glossing Over Details Protects Me From The Devil.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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Growing up is kid stuff.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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Half-assed is bad - but is it full-assed or no-assed that's good?
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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Han *Solo* Had A Formidable Companion... Discuss.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Han *SOLO* Had a Notable *Companion*.... Discuss.
of 30 votes, 3% like it
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Hang With Me - Make Your Friends Jealous.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Hi! I'm Here to Muddy The Water.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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Hope Keeps Me Going (so does digestion)
of 78 votes, 42% like it
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Horses Jump At The Spur of the Moment.
of 18 votes, 44% like it
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I Am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever Been, Able to Speak Legalese...
of 46 votes, 39% like it
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I Don't Bite My Nails. (but, i do bite my staples and paperclips)
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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I Don't Bite My Nails. But I Do Bite Staples and Paperclips....
of 40 votes, 35% like it
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I dreamt I was a bicycle centaur.
of 36 votes, 31% like it
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I Dress This Way So the Aliens Will Pick Me Next.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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I Flushed My Pet Alligator, And It Came Back To Bite Me...
of 26 votes, 8% like it
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I grew up reading comic books. Well, got older, anyway...
of 46 votes, 41% like it
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I Grew Up Watching Cartoons. Well, Got Older, Anyway....
of 40 votes, 38% like it
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I Had the Gift of Gab, But I Re-Gifted It.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
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I Have A Bigger Part In The Sequel To The Movie Of Your Life.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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I have seen the world... *On TV*
of 28 votes, 32% like it
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I Just Checked Over The Sun... Nothing New There Either...
of 33 votes, 30% like it
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I Keep Getting Mnemonic Devices And Pneumatic Devices Mixed Up...
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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I Like to be Closer to Bacon than Six Degrees of Separation.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
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I lost my street cred in the Stock Market....
of 15 votes, 0% like it
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I Messed Up My Wrist Playing Video Games Eight Days A Wiik
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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I Once Had A Conniption Fit, But Often They're Too Snug...
of 39 votes, 38% like it
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I Once Had A Conniption Fit, But Usually They're Too Loose.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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I Prefer Directions To Be Forthright.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
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I Prefer My Movies to Be Black and White, and My Books In Color.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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I Speed Read Between the Lines.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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I Still Prefer Air Travel -- Captain! Ready My Cannon!
of 54 votes, 37% like it
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I Thought I Was a Kleptofanatic, But I'll Take Your Word For It.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
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I Thought It Was Kleptofanatic, But I'll Take Your Word For It.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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I Throw Rocks. (unless I think you're going for paper)
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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I'd Be A Dreadful Reggae Star.....
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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I'm Famous On That Internet Site You Never Visit.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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I'm Here to Muddy The Water.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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I'm Proudest of My Self-Depreciation.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
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I'm What Happens When a Princess Merely Blows Kisses at a Frog.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
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I've been known to cause spatial anomalies.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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If I Were An Exhibitionist, You'd Be Reading A Tattoo...
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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If Music Be The Food of Love, nomnomnomnomnom
of 30 votes, 13% like it
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If Music is the Food of Love, Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom!
of 14 votes, 0% like it
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If Not For This Shirt, You'd Be Reading My Tattoo Right Now.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
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If Someone Is Walking On My Grave, What Does That Say About Me?
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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In The Movie of Your Life, I Do the Voice Over.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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In The Movie of Your Life, I Get to Do All The Evil Laughter!
of 33 votes, 27% like it
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Just happy you can read.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
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Late As Usual
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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Let Me Be The First To Say 'Gralmufabits!'
of 26 votes, 8% like it
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Mistakes are messed up.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
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Movers and shakers shouldn't work together.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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My Alchemy Experiment Went Over Like A Gold Balloon.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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My back is on shirtwards.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
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My Bionic Limbs Are in The Shop - These Are Just Loaners...
of 60 votes, 38% like it
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My Bionic Limbs Are In The Shop; These Are Loaners...
of 2 votes, 50% like it
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My Body Is A Temple -- Please Tithe Often.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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My Dream Car is a Giant Flower.
of 33 votes, 30% like it
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My frame of mind is askew.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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My Last Conniption Fit! (I realized they run a size small)
of 26 votes, 8% like it
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My New Bucket Design Doesn't Hold Water.
of 20 votes, 0% like it
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My Nuclear Family is Glowing, Thanks to Our Strong Bonds.
of 25 votes, 40% like it
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My Nuclear Family Went Ballistic Over My Energy Ideas.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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My Nuclear Family Went Ballistic Over My War Protest.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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My Physical Manifestation is Immaterial.
of 45 votes, 38% like it
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My priorities are still in the closet.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
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My Street Cred is Spent.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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My Street Cred is Tied up in Savings Bonds.
of 14 votes, 0% like it
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My Street Cred paved the way for my retirement.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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My Street Cred Paves the Way for My Retirement.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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My Theme Song is Cooler Than Yours.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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Not breathing will make you ex-hale.
of 22 votes, 0% like it
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Nothing is So Fully Half-Assed, As Being No-Assed.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Nothing says 'illiterate' like you staring at this shirt...
of 21 votes, 38% like it
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Official 'Official Spokesperson' Spokesperson.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
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Official Bicycle Spokesperson
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Official Spokesperson of Me
of 28 votes, 36% like it
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On Second Thought, Talk to the Ear. The Hand is Actually Deaf.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
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Remember The Last Time You Couldn't Stop Laughing.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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Say I'm a Kleptomaniac. I'll Take Your Word For It.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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Scars: The Original Tattoos.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
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See Previous Shirt for More Details...
of 43 votes, 33% like it
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Shhh... I'm sleeping off my insomnia...
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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Snowmen Give Zombies a Brain Freeze.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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Someone Pulled The Plug On My Bright Idea.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
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Sum people are mathemeticians
of 43 votes, 26% like it
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Synonyms disunite us from the varmints.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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Thankfully, I had already moved out of all my base....
of 29 votes, 17% like it
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The bench is a position, right?
of 73 votes, 52% like it
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The Devil's in the details? Good thing I'm oblivious....
of 60 votes, 45% like it
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The Light Bulb Was Invented By a Guy With a Torch Over His Head.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
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The shirt you were hoping to read is over there...
of 29 votes, 7% like it
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The voices are busy talking to my other personality....
of 53 votes, 45% like it
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This Shirt Commemorates My Modesty.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
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This shirt conceals my cape...
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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This Shirt's Special Features: Ringspun Cotton + This Commentary
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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Toe socks discriminate against the inbred.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
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True Conservatives Walk Everywhere Naked.
of 45 votes, 27% like it
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WARNING: Shirt Slogan Not Up to Your Standards
of 30 votes, 13% like it
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Watch! I'll Do A Headstand. First, I'm Taking Off These Cleats...
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love. And a Slice of Pie.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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What Your Mom Actually Said Was, "Knock It Off."
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Will Trade Sense of Zen for $1,000,000
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Would an Eskimo Give a Zombie a Brain Freeze?
of 77 votes, 55% like it
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Yes, you recognize me, I'm world famous! *May not be world famous
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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YOU DON'T MESS WITH PERFECTION! (nor with whatever it is I have)
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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You mean a ball game comes with this hot dog?
of 35 votes, 31% like it
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You take the high road / I'll take a taxi...
of 68 votes, 56% like it
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Zombies Think Outside the Pine Box.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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