Maltzmania
aka ha cha cha cha is a 24.23 year old boy, has been a member since July 15, 2007, has scored 52454 submissions, giving an average score of 2.30.
Circles Will Never Have That Competitive Edge
of 53 votes, 55% like it
If I'm Not Back In 20 Minutes, It Means You Bored Me.
of 64 votes, 56% like it
I Just Randomly Realized That I Realize A Lot Of Things Randomly
of 64 votes, 64% like it
Awkward Moments: They're, um. They, uh. Hi. Wait. Oh Boy.
of 69 votes, 71% like it
Think Of The Last Time You Were Being Chased. Now, Add Banjo.
of 67 votes, 58% like it
Let's Get One Thing Straight: I Love Squiggly Lines!
of 61 votes, 54% like it
I Wonder What Hypothetical Situations Are Like.
of 67 votes, 69% like it
Fatally Wounding Even One Bird With a Stone is Impressive
of 96 votes, 81% like it
Zombies Don't Believe in Deadlines
of 74 votes, 59% like it
I Always Save The Best For Last. Best.
of 82 votes, 63% like it
Imagine Me Doing This Mundane Activity In Slow Motion
of 78 votes, 63% like it
The Clothes Make The Man, But Bones Help Too.
of 83 votes, 73% like it
I Had All My Ducks In A Row, Then They Flew South For The Winter
of 104 votes, 70% like it
Getting All Of Your Ducks In A Row Is Actually Really Difficult
of 77 votes, 52% like it
It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Brings A Briefcase
of 136 votes, 82% like it
If It Wasn't For Math, Polygons Would Just Be A Ridiculous Word
of 91 votes, 67% like it
Let's Reenact That Moment We Just Shared
of 83 votes, 54% like it
If You Have Just A Hunch You're Still Deformed
of 85 votes, 55% like it
Eye Contact Is Overrated Apparently
of 84 votes, 63% like it
Ask About My Fake Backstory Involving Dragons
of 97 votes, 57% like it
Pronouns Laugh In The Face Of Amateurnouns
of 96 votes, 58% like it
If We're Ever Stranded On An Island This Shirt Makes Me Leader
of 116 votes, 71% like it
You Can't Even Look Me In The Eye Whilst Reading This.
of 97 votes, 51% like it
Just So We're Clear, This Economic Mess Is Not My Fault.
of 82 votes, 49% like it
I Would Like To See The Supply And Demand Chart For Dragons
of 90 votes, 53% like it
(wraparound text) I Have This Bad Habit Of Talking In Circles
of 93 votes, 52% like it
I'm Not Apathetic, I'm Just Something, Or Whatever. Maybe.
of 98 votes, 61% like it
My T-Shirt And I Are In A Never-ending Game of Tag Right Now
of 88 votes, 57% like it
If I'm Wearing This It's Okay For Me To Get Into A Food Fight
of 75 votes, 55% like it
2 Wrongs Don't Make A Right But 8 Lefts Take You To The Freeway
of 90 votes, 64% like it
Making Up Words Is Not As Easy As It Flugaxolates
of 82 votes, 63% like it
Ask About My Fear Of Impromptu Conversations
of 95 votes, 61% like it
Parallel Lines Are Pointless
of 101 votes, 49% like it
The Platypus: Nature's Version Of An Awkward Teenager
of 116 votes, 73% like it
This Is Where I Keep The Middle Of My Body
of 111 votes, 59% like it
Do You Think Rhetorical Questions Will Ever Go Out Of Style?
of 119 votes, 55% like it
Soon Typos Will Be A Thing Of The Psat!
of 103 votes, 53% like it
It's The Little Things In Life That Cause Me To Trip A Lot
of 106 votes, 59% like it
Be Nice To Me. I Have Henchmen.
of 112 votes, 60% like it
Honesty May Be The Best Policy, But Imagination Gets You A Dragon
of 148 votes, 74% like it
What If The Person Who Said Honesty Is The Best Policy Was Lying?
of 105 votes, 56% like it
Social Networking: Imaginary Friends for Grown Ups
of 119 votes, 62% like it
Come Closer And I'll Tell You All About This Game Called Tag
of 108 votes, 64% like it
Once Upon A Time, Every Story Started Like This.
of 106 votes, 59% like it
Where Do Wolves Even Find These Sheep Costumes?
of 100 votes, 56% like it
I Love Sports, Especially The Ones With Dice And Magic Spells
of 93 votes, 48% like it
I'm Especially Good At Sports Where You Can Flail Uncontrollably
of 85 votes, 48% like it
Kleptomaniacs Don't Usually Give Advice They Just, Take It.
of 91 votes, 48% like it
I'd Use Big Words But Then I'd Be Pontificating
of 105 votes, 57% like it
(front) For More Information See Back (back) This Is The Back.
of 93 votes, 51% like it
Being Two Steps Ahead Of Someone Is ill-advised Near a Cliff
of 96 votes, 50% like it
I Really, Really, Really, Really Hope This Stall Tactic Works
of 97 votes, 47% like it
I Fell Into a Wormhole and All I Got Was This Alternate Reality
of 111 votes, 50% like it
A Knight In Shining Armor Would Be Really Annoying On A Sunny Day
of 127 votes, 59% like it
Isn't It Funny How You Never Lose Your Ability To Lose Things.
of 109 votes, 50% like it
(UV INK)When It's Sunny (Regular Ink) This Will Make Sense.
of 108 votes, 50% like it
Sadly, Being Radical in Politics Has Zero To Do With Skateboards
of 116 votes, 54% like it
Steamrollers Are Actually The Best Form of Flattery.
of 134 votes, 61% like it
I Tried Being a Nihilist But I Never Saw The Point.
of 123 votes, 59% like it
If You Add Up All The Times I Failed Math, You'd Have Some Number
of 127 votes, 51% like it
An Apple A Day is a Terrible Health Insurance Plan
of 129 votes, 55% like it
Buttering People Up Is a Surefire Sign of Cannibalism
of 132 votes, 58% like it
I Was Once a Samurai. Now I Just Have A Really Long Letter Opener
of 114 votes, 54% like it
The Thing That Separates Us From Animals Is Usually Clothing.
of 108 votes, 51% like it
If You Don't Stop Reading This You'll Have Read This.
of 102 votes, 43% like it
The Only Way To Solve a Mystery is With a Pipe, and a Mustache
of 108 votes, 60% like it
Taking A Shot in the Dark is Actually Not A Good Idea. Ever.
of 124 votes, 55% like it
Cannibalism: The Real Way to a Persons Heart.
of 145 votes, 59% like it
Double Negatives Are Not For Just Nobody
of 125 votes, 58% like it
I'm Not an Evil Villain. I Just Like Top Hats,Mustaches and Capes
of 120 votes, 53% like it
I Have No Time For Your Childish Games! Unless it's Hop Scotch
of 125 votes, 60% like it
Your Awkward Silence is Safe With Me.
of 129 votes, 57% like it
It's Not a Complete Evil Laugh Without a Handlebar Mustache
of 136 votes, 49% like it
Excuse Me While I Stroke My Invisible Handlebar Mustache
of 162 votes, 65% like it
You Can't Spell Random Without Tangerine Swordfish Disco Car
of 249 votes, 64% like it
I'm Rarely Caught Dead Wearing This
of 247 votes, 53% like it
Sadly, My Air Guitar Solos Get Confused With Awkward Silences
of 342 votes, 65% like it
(regular ink)I'm not one for hidden messages (glow ink) Hypocrite
of 359 votes, 59% like it
(regular ink) I'm not afraid of the dark (glow ink) hold me!
of 428 votes, 73% like it
Getting rocked like a hurricane is only fun in theory
of 343 votes, 61% like it
French words are not my Forté
of 380 votes, 65% like it
I can think of only two things I hate: 1. lists 2.hypocrites
of 318 votes, 56% like it
Hooray for sarcasm!
of 329 votes, 62% like it
Egotistical astronauts are not as down to earth as they seem
of 257 votes, 48% like it
I enjoyed watching you read. Let's do this again sometime.
of 363 votes, 66% like it
You're doing wonders for my self-esteem right now
of 291 votes, 51% like it
Library Fines: Like being hit with a sack of marshmallows
of 330 votes, 58% like it
Think of this as an advance apology for my awkwardness
of 304 votes, 51% like it
Mimes are only in it for the awkward silence
of 408 votes, 55% like it
The mysterious ooze in my yard has yet to grant me one superpower
of 380 votes, 51% like it
Dear Syrup, I want you on me. Love, Waffles. (In letter format)
of 427 votes, 55% like it
(front)If you can read this (back) You definitley can't read this
of 467 votes, 59% like it
Awkward Silence Indicators: Tumbleweed, cricket, and your jokes.
of 387 votes, 49% like it
It's hard thinking outside the box when it's a really sweet box.
of 419 votes, 53% like it
I have a vast vocabulary. So, like, yeah and stuff.
of 414 votes, 50% like it
Find your damn self Waldo
of 434 votes, 55% like it
I'd laugh out loud, but I can't without a keyboard.
of 399 votes, 54% like it
With a straight face tell me you don't want a handlebar moustache
of 418 votes, 51% like it
I high-five strangers.
of 431 votes, 58% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
(dizzy text)We Just Went On a Rollercoaster
of 7 votes, 14% like it
(Front) I'm not a flip-flopper! yes i am... (Back) Or am I?
of 87 votes, 44% like it
(front)Ask About The Back Of My Shirt. (Back)Stop Asking About Me
of 72 votes, 44% like it
(Front)This is Me.
(Back) This is Me Walking Away.
of 101 votes, 45% like it
(Near the hips) Actually We Do Lie Sometimes.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
(Text in Necklace Shape) This Is Where My Ridiculous Bling Goes
of 81 votes, 44% like it
(Vertically where a tie would be) Helpful Tip #32: Ties go here
of 374 votes, 49% like it
A Biscuit is Bread's Roll Model.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Being an Evil Mastermind is as Easy as 1, 2, Handlebar Mustache.
of 111 votes, 42% like it
Buying Unnecessary T-Shirts Is One Of My Vices.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
By Reading This You Have Accepted My Challenge To a Duel!
of 93 votes, 43% like it
Convincing A Duck He's Not A Doctor Is Pointless
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Dear Everyone,
I enjoy writing in letter format.
Signed,
Me.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Diamonds May Be Forever, but Handlebar Mustaches Tickle A Little
of 43 votes, 49% like it
Dramatic Shirts are so....
(on back) Anticlimactic
of 103 votes, 45% like it
Dude, You Were In My Dream Last Night, As A Complete Stranger!
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Elevator Music Always Gets Me Down, And Sometimes Up
of 74 votes, 45% like it
Every Vote Counts. Actually, Votes Can't Count, They're Inanimate
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Evil Villain Bicyclists Always Use The Handlebar Mustache.
of 32 votes, 47% like it
Get With the Times, New Roman!
of 89 votes, 46% like it
Good Farewells Are Hard To Come Bye.
of 65 votes, 49% like it
Handlebar Mustache: Don't Vie for World Domination Without it
of 41 votes, 49% like it
Handlebar Mustaches: Don't Leave 1920's silent films without them
of 41 votes, 49% like it
Handlebar Mustaches: Don't Leave Your Evil Hideout Without it!
of 40 votes, 50% like it
Hang gliding: The excitement of flying a kite, half the mockery
of 254 votes, 46% like it
I Always! Get Excited! At! The Wrong! Moments.
of 30 votes, 47% like it
I Bought And Wore This Shirt Just So We Could Share This Moment.
of 80 votes, 45% like it
I Can't Be A Nerd, This Tee Gives Me +5 Strength and +3 Charisma
of 25 votes, 40% like it
I can't wait for this to get more awkard.
of 378 votes, 46% like it
I Challenge You To a Duel! A Tickle Duel.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I Could Tell You How I'm Esoteric, But You Wouldn't Understand.
of 61 votes, 41% like it
I Gave Up Crowd Surfing Once Crowd Sharks Became Real
of 8 votes, 13% like it
I Get Into Awkward Situations Just So I Can Back Away Slowly
of 37 votes, 49% like it
I Just Found My Calling In Life: Tripping And Falling In Public
of 12 votes, 17% like it
I Just Got My Palm Read, It Said I'd Wear This Shirt Today!
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I Love Books! Especially That One With The Guy And That Thing.
of 94 votes, 43% like it
I Never Throw Away My Old Watches. It's A Waste of Time.
of 83 votes, 48% like it
I never understood the semi-colon; but i often use it ironically.
of 366 votes, 45% like it
I Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, i mean, never will exaggerate.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I Play With My Food. Mostly We Do Showtunes and Musicals
of 82 votes, 43% like it
I Swear I'm a Villain! I Just Left my Handlebar Mustache at Home
of 34 votes, 41% like it
I Was Once A Ferocious Lion! Then I Turned 8.
of 96 votes, 42% like it
I'd Never Wear A Slogan Shirt In Public
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I'd Respect You More With a Handlebar Mustache
of 118 votes, 43% like it
I'd Tell You I'm The King of the Jungle But Then I'd Be Lion.
of 93 votes, 45% like it
I'll Never Forget The Time You Read My T-Shirt
of 67 votes, 43% like it
I'm Away From My Washing Machine Right Now.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
I'm Easily Manipulated Into Wearing Pointless T-Shirts
of 11 votes, 27% like it
I'm Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever one to Exaggerate!
of 97 votes, 43% like it
I'm Not A Mad Scientist, I'm Just Fond of Elaborate Tubing
of 84 votes, 44% like it
I'm Not A TV, I Just Play One In Real Life!
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I'm Not Living in the Past. My Time Machine Is Just Broken.
of 86 votes, 43% like it
I'm Not Trying To Mess With Your Head.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
I'm The Ultimate Super Awesome King of Modesty!
of 8 votes, 13% like it
If A T-Shirt Is Worn Underneath Another Shirt, Is It Still Fresh?
of 6 votes, 17% like it
If I Could Draw,This Would Be an Image Of Me Riding A Pterodactyl
of 91 votes, 45% like it
If I Was Awkward Would I Be Wearing This T-Shirt?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
If it's not a sandwich it's not a car
of 75 votes, 48% like it
If Only I Had A Tophat and a Monocle, Then I'd Be Taken Seriously
of 88 votes, 44% like it
If Pink Is The New Black, Ninjas Just Became Less Stealthy
of 73 votes, 47% like it
If There's An Awkward Silence I Make The Tumbleweed Sound
of 13 votes, 31% like it
If This Isn't A Conversation Starter, I Don't Know What Is.
of 96 votes, 41% like it
If You Can't Read This, You're Lying.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
If You Don't Stop Taking Me Seriously, I'm Gonna Have To Fluxate!
of 8 votes, 13% like it
If You Put Your Worries Behind You, You Might Trip!
of 13 votes, 23% like it
In Track and Field Running In Circles is A Good Thing
of 47 votes, 40% like it
It's Hard To Think Outside The Box When You're A Total Square
of 73 votes, 41% like it
It's Lunch Time!* *This Shirt Has An Accuracy Rate of 27.4%
of 6 votes, 17% like it
It's Okay, I Don't "Get" This Shirt Either.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Leaving People With a Cliffhanger is so...
of 108 votes, 44% like it
Leaving Words Out Sentences is Cool
of 88 votes, 42% like it
Let's See How Many Times In A Row No One Can Read This Sentence
of 74 votes, 45% like it
Looking Back, Purchasing That Submarine Was Probably A Bad Idea
of 81 votes, 49% like it
Metaphors are as redundant as similes
of 334 votes, 42% like it
Misplaced Words Annoying Are So!
of 75 votes, 43% like it
My alphabet soup has poor syntax
of 355 votes, 47% like it
My Internet Smiley Faces Don't Translate Well To Real Life.
of 58 votes, 43% like it
Once Negative Nancy Marries Positive Phil, Neutral Nick Is Born.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
People Who Are Paranoid Cannot Be Trusted!
of 90 votes, 47% like it
People Who Make Up Words Are So Smellydolyocious
of 49 votes, 49% like it
People Who Throw Stones In Glass Houses Should Find A New Realtor
of 12 votes, 25% like it
See If You Can Read This Shirt When I Press My Turbo Button
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Smirking: It's Like Smiling For Creepy People
of 77 votes, 48% like it
Squares May Be Uncool, But Circles Will Never Have That Edginess
of 22 votes, 41% like it
That makes about as much sense as a platypus
of 349 votes, 46% like it
The Fabric of This T-Shirt Really Hurts.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
The Playground Sandbox Teaches Us A Lot About Perspective
of 6 votes, 17% like it
The Prophecy Came True! I'm Wearing This Shirt Today!
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Think Of One Crazy Memory Involving A Chase. Now Add Banjo Music.
of 78 votes, 46% like it
This Is My Summer T-Shirt, Or My Winter Undershirt.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
This Shirt Contains A Secret Coded Message:(UV INK)The Sun is Out
of 86 votes, 42% like it
This Shirt Isn't Pointless! (See Corners Of Tee For Points)
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Trust Me I'm Not A Spy, Just a Terrible Liar.
of 88 votes, 41% like it
Unlike Space, In The Shower Everyone Can Hear You Sing
of 97 votes, 42% like it
Vegetables. The Perfect Snack For Fruitless Endeavors.
of 71 votes, 46% like it
Walking in the background like da-da-da-da-daaaa
of 1 votes, 100% like it
We're Not Strangers, We're Just Perpetually Playing Hide N' Seek!
of 12 votes, 25% like it
When I Can't Think Of Anything I Look At My Stupid T-Shirt
of 19 votes, 21% like it
When I Was Your Age You Were Your Age
of 13 votes, 38% like it
When Spies Cook They Always Seem To Use A Secret Recipe
of 98 votes, 45% like it
Who In Their Right Mind Sends a Little Piggy To Market Anyway?
of 82 votes, 43% like it
Wormhole. The End Of This Shirt Got Sucked Into A
of 97 votes, 44% like it
Yo-Yo-ing Always Gets Out Of Hand
of 52 votes, 48% like it
http://threadless.com/profile/545528/Maltzmania
thanks Pizazz!
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