I hope you're not picturing a squirrel eating a nacho right now.
of 93 votes, 47% like it
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I was raised by wolves but only because dragons were unavailable
of 138 votes, 62% like it
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I'm surprised you looked up from your phone to read this
of 193 votes, 57% like it
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Due to the economy, this Hoody has downsized to a T-shirt
of 162 votes, 52% like it
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Nothing Important to See Here, Look Back at Your Phone
of 132 votes, 41% like it
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I Sometimes Wonder What Hypothetical Situations Are Like
of 181 votes, 62% like it
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Is it bad if your inner child is more mature than you?
of 134 votes, 67% like it
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I never make lists because:
1. I'm not forgetful
2. Irony
of 133 votes, 65% like it
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Nice Guys Finish Last, But Apathetic Dudes Finish Wherever, Man.
of 177 votes, 74% like it
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Have You Seen My Rhetorical Question?
of 229 votes, 68% like it
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Circles Will Never Have That Competitive Edge
of 266 votes, 73% like it
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If I'm Not Back In 20 Minutes, It Means You Bored Me.
of 222 votes, 61% like it
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I Just Randomly Realized That I Realize A Lot Of Things Randomly
of 225 votes, 61% like it
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Awkward Moments: They're, um. They, uh. Hi. Wait. Oh Boy.
of 239 votes, 69% like it
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Think Of The Last Time You Were Being Chased. Now, Add Banjo.
of 199 votes, 55% like it
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I Wonder What Hypothetical Situations Are Like.
of 198 votes, 68% like it
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Fatally Wounding Even One Bird With a Stone is Impressive
of 281 votes, 80% like it
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I Always Save The Best For Last. Best.
of 219 votes, 64% like it
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Imagine Me Doing This Mundane Activity In Slow Motion
of 186 votes, 63% like it
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The Clothes Make The Man, But Bones Help Too.
of 195 votes, 71% like it
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I Had All My Ducks In A Row, Then They Flew South For The Winter
of 199 votes, 60% like it
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It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Brings A Briefcase
of 260 votes, 79% like it
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If It Wasn't For Math, Polygons Would Just Be A Ridiculous Word
of 207 votes, 71% like it
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Eye Contact Is Overrated Apparently
of 181 votes, 58% like it
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Pronouns Laugh In The Face Of Amateurnouns
of 191 votes, 62% like it
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If We're Ever Stranded On An Island This Shirt Makes Me Leader
of 245 votes, 74% like it
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You Can't Even Look Me In The Eye Whilst Reading This.
of 179 votes, 47% like it
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I Would Like To See The Supply And Demand Chart For Dragons
of 156 votes, 51% like it
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(wraparound text) I Have This Bad Habit Of Talking In Circles
of 160 votes, 55% like it
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I'm Not Apathetic, I'm Just Something, Or Whatever. Maybe.
of 161 votes, 58% like it
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My T-Shirt And I Are In A Never-ending Game of Tag Right Now
of 160 votes, 54% like it
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If I'm Wearing This It's Okay For Me To Get Into A Food Fight
of 132 votes, 45% like it
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2 Wrongs Don't Make A Right But 8 Lefts Take You To The Freeway
of 165 votes, 59% like it
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Making Up Words Is Not As Easy As It Flugaxolates
of 154 votes, 60% like it
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Ask About My Fear Of Impromptu Conversations
of 172 votes, 60% like it
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Parallel Lines Are Pointless
of 174 votes, 50% like it
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The Platypus: Nature's Version Of An Awkward Teenager
of 199 votes, 70% like it
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This Is Where I Keep The Middle Of My Body
of 188 votes, 59% like it
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Do You Think Rhetorical Questions Will Ever Go Out Of Style?
of 178 votes, 51% like it
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Soon Typos Will Be A Thing Of The Psat!
of 170 votes, 51% like it
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It's The Little Things In Life That Cause Me To Trip A Lot
of 164 votes, 57% like it
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Be Nice To Me. I Have Henchmen.
of 172 votes, 56% like it
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Honesty May Be The Best Policy, But Imagination Gets You A Dragon
of 230 votes, 74% like it
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What If The Person Who Said Honesty Is The Best Policy Was Lying?
of 157 votes, 57% like it
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Social Networking: Imaginary Friends for Grown Ups
of 197 votes, 68% like it
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Come Closer And I'll Tell You All About This Game Called Tag
of 178 votes, 62% like it
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Once Upon A Time, Every Story Started Like This.
of 162 votes, 56% like it
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Where Do Wolves Even Find These Sheep Costumes?
of 165 votes, 61% like it
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Kleptomaniacs Don't Usually Give Advice They Just, Take It.
of 148 votes, 51% like it
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I'd Use Big Words But Then I'd Be Pontificating
of 174 votes, 59% like it
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(front) For More Information See Back (back) This Is The Back.
of 166 votes, 57% like it
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Being Two Steps Ahead Of Someone Is ill-advised Near a Cliff
of 147 votes, 53% like it
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I Really, Really, Really, Really Hope This Stall Tactic Works
of 147 votes, 48% like it
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I Fell Into a Wormhole and All I Got Was This Alternate Reality
of 167 votes, 53% like it
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A Knight In Shining Armor Would Be Really Annoying On A Sunny Day
of 194 votes, 62% like it
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Isn't It Funny How You Never Lose Your Ability To Lose Things.
of 161 votes, 50% like it
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(UV INK)When It's Sunny (Regular Ink) This Will Make Sense.
of 169 votes, 56% like it
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Sadly, Being Radical in Politics Has Zero To Do With Skateboards
of 165 votes, 52% like it
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Steamrollers Are Actually The Best Form of Flattery.
of 199 votes, 62% like it
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I Tried Being a Nihilist But I Never Saw The Point.
of 172 votes, 58% like it
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If You Add Up All The Times I Failed Math, You'd Have Some Number
of 181 votes, 51% like it
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An Apple A Day is a Terrible Health Insurance Plan
of 185 votes, 56% like it
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Buttering People Up Is a Surefire Sign of Cannibalism
of 195 votes, 62% like it
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I Was Once a Samurai. Now I Just Have A Really Long Letter Opener
of 175 votes, 55% like it
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The Thing That Separates Us From Animals Is Usually Clothing.
of 160 votes, 51% like it
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The Only Way To Solve a Mystery is With a Pipe, and a Mustache
of 172 votes, 62% like it
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Taking A Shot in the Dark is Actually Not A Good Idea. Ever.
of 175 votes, 54% like it
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Cannibalism: The Real Way to a Persons Heart.
of 210 votes, 62% like it
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Double Negatives Are Not For Just Nobody
of 174 votes, 55% like it
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I'm Not an Evil Villain. I Just Like Top Hats,Mustaches and Capes
of 169 votes, 52% like it
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I Have No Time For Your Childish Games! Unless it's Hop Scotch
of 179 votes, 58% like it
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Your Awkward Silence is Safe With Me.
of 185 votes, 58% like it
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Excuse Me While I Stroke My Invisible Handlebar Mustache
of 213 votes, 62% like it
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You Can't Spell Random Without Tangerine Swordfish Disco Car
of 302 votes, 63% like it
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I'm Rarely Caught Dead Wearing This
of 292 votes, 52% like it
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Sadly, My Air Guitar Solos Get Confused With Awkward Silences
of 386 votes, 63% like it
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(regular ink)I'm not one for hidden messages (glow ink) Hypocrite
of 404 votes, 58% like it
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(regular ink) I'm not afraid of the dark (glow ink) hold me!
of 487 votes, 73% like it
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I can think of only two things I hate: 1. lists 2.hypocrites
of 359 votes, 55% like it
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Hooray for sarcasm!
of 385 votes, 62% like it
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Egotistical astronauts are not as down to earth as they seem
of 297 votes, 47% like it
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I enjoyed watching you read. Let's do this again sometime.
of 414 votes, 66% like it
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You're doing wonders for my self-esteem right now
of 336 votes, 50% like it
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Library Fines: Like being hit with a sack of marshmallows
of 377 votes, 57% like it
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Think of this as an advance apology for my awkwardness
of 349 votes, 50% like it
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Mimes are only in it for the awkward silence
of 449 votes, 53% like it
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The mysterious ooze in my yard has yet to grant me one superpower
of 429 votes, 50% like it
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Dear Syrup, I want you on me. Love, Waffles. (In letter format)
of 476 votes, 54% like it
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(front)If you can read this (back) You definitley can't read this
of 521 votes, 58% like it
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Awkward Silence Indicators: Tumbleweed, cricket, and your jokes.
of 433 votes, 48% like it
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It's hard thinking outside the box when it's a really sweet box.
of 465 votes, 53% like it
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I have a vast vocabulary. So, like, yeah and stuff.
of 469 votes, 52% like it
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Find your damn self Waldo
of 495 votes, 56% like it
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I'd laugh out loud, but I can't without a keyboard.
of 452 votes, 55% like it
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With a straight face tell me you don't want a handlebar moustache
of 465 votes, 51% like it
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I high-five strangers.
of 493 votes, 60% like it
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