In Reality, I'm Fictional.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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I'd Build A Rocket To Go To The Moon, But I'm Allergic To Cheese.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
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Having Too Many Bright Ideas Isn't Environmentally Friendly.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
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Vampires And Werewolves And Witches Oh My.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
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I Don't Unlike Talking In Double Negatives.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
|
Forget About Flying Cars, Where's My Teleporter?!
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
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Forget About The Chicken And The Egg, Breakfast Came First.
of 34 votes, 35% like it
|
The Last Time I Cursed At Someone They Turned Into A Toad.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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I'd Offer You A Peanut, But I'm All Out Of Rhymes. I Mean It.
of 24 votes, 46% like it
|
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I'm No Liar. I Don't Know Where A Cherry Tree Is, Let Alone An Ax
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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Sometimes I'm so Full of Lies, I Spill the Truth.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
|
When I'm Dressed In Yellow, I Bust A Move.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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I'm So Fresh, I'm Moving To Bel Air.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
|
Gravity: Proof That The World Does Revolve Around Me.
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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I Wish On UFOs. Stars Are So Unreliable.
of 32 votes, 50% like it
|
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I Was Once Lost, But Then I Was Found... By GPS.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
I Love The Sewer, It's Where I Keep My Pet Alligators.
of 21 votes, 48% like it
|
Wanted: Dead Or Alive. I Prefer Alive.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
|
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Delicious Is My Favorite Food Group.
of 32 votes, 53% like it
|
Of Course I Believe In True Love, It's In The Fiction Section.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
|
If I Were A Peg Legged Pirate, I'd Have Waged War On Woodpeckers.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
|
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Due To Unforeseen Circumstances, This's Written In Invisible Ink.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
|
I Put On My Red Shoes And Danced This Shirt Blue.
of 24 votes, 67% like it
|
Rhyming Is Not As Easy As It Sounds. Cheesy.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Squares Are Jealous Of Acute Triangles.
of 24 votes, 54% like it
|
If Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, They Should Stop For Directions
of 29 votes, 62% like it
|
Outer Space Is So In.
of 34 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I Declared A Thumb War Once, The Thumb Won The Right To Rule.
of 28 votes, 43% like it
|
My Fortune Cookie Told Me The Magic 8 Ball Is A Liar.
of 35 votes, 57% like it
|
I love my pi à la mode.
of 27 votes, 63% like it
|
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Balloon Animals Ate All My Shadow Puppets.
of 32 votes, 44% like it
|
You Are Blocking The Hidden Entrance To My Secret Lair.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
|
I'm Attracted To Bright Colors, And Super Heroes.
of 37 votes, 49% like it
|
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Sometimes My Eyes Glaze Over Like A Jelly Filled Donut.
of 29 votes, 62% like it
|
I Love Climbing The Mountains Of Space.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
|
I'm Flexible, I Put My Foot In My Mouth All The Time.
of 35 votes, 54% like it
|
|
My Creative Juices Are Lemon Flavored.
of 40 votes, 50% like it
|
Technology Has Made Me Socially Awkward.
of 37 votes, 57% like it
|
It's Okay If You Steal My Sunshine, I'll Get It Back In 24 Hours.
of 33 votes, 48% like it
|
|
The Pot Called The Kettle Cerulean Blue.
of 31 votes, 52% like it
|
The Jig Is Up And The News Is Out Thanks To The Internet.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
|
I Asked For A Pony, Not A Thick Plot.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
|
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I Bet Bananas And Oranges Think Apples Have A Doctor Complex.
of 25 votes, 56% like it
|
I'm Only Pretending To Be Evil For The Super Powers.
of 34 votes, 59% like it
|
(sml)If You Can Read This, Please Stop Invading My Personal Space
of 28 votes, 46% like it
|
|
I'd Rather Get Back Into The Swing Of Things In The Jungle.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
|
Stating The Obvious Is A Spectator Sport.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
|
Today Isn't My Birthday, But I Wouldn't Say No To Some Cake.
of 38 votes, 50% like it
|
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(on back) Looks Like I Did Get The Last Laugh.
of 37 votes, 32% like it
|
Horizontal Bacon Makes Me Think Of Lederhosen.
of 37 votes, 30% like it
|
I'm Not A Square, I'm A Six Faced, Six Colored Puzzle Cube.
of 43 votes, 30% like it
|
|
You Can Call Me A Square, I'd Prefer 6 Faced, 6 Colored Cube.
of 40 votes, 25% like it
|
I'm So Cool, I Wear Sunglasses Whether It's Sunny Or Not.
of 43 votes, 28% like it
|
Being The Sharpest Crayon Makes Me Deadly.
of 40 votes, 65% like it
|
|
It's Always Sunny, On The Sun.
of 32 votes, 44% like it
|
Stop, Drop And Roll Is More Fun When Done On Grassy Slopes.
of 43 votes, 58% like it
|
BRB. I Need To Blog About It.
of 38 votes, 47% like it
|
|
I Want To Work At The Circus But There's No Room For This Clown.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
|
I'm Not Paranoid, But It Appears You Can Read Me Like A Book.
of 40 votes, 30% like it
|
This Shirt Was In Hypercolor Until 1988.
of 44 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Taking Photographic Evidence Is A Snap!
of 39 votes, 31% like it
|
If At First You Don't Succeed, You Should Take Off The Crown.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
|
Have You Seen My Invisibility Cloak Lying Around?
of 39 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I'm Doing Magic Right Now.
of 40 votes, 40% like it
|
Being Is 2 Places At Once Is Just A Blink Away If You're A Genii.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
|
I Don't Have The Proper Technology, Otherwise I'd Astral Project
of 34 votes, 35% like it
|
|
I Would Pause, But I Have No Impulse Controllers.
of 38 votes, 32% like it
|
This Used To Be In 3D, I Blame The Economy And Elves.
of 38 votes, 58% like it
|
Wishing On A Star Could Be Deadly, I Prefer To Point And Wish.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
|
|
I Love Mixed Metaphors, Especially Peas And Carrots.
of 45 votes, 53% like it
|
Evil Villains If At First They Don't Succeed, Try Try Again.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
|
I Put My Best Foot Forward, Then My Right.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire Keeps Me Honest.
of 31 votes, 42% like it
|
Killing Two Birds With One Stone Is Easier Said Than Done.
of 39 votes, 62% like it
|
I Save My Funniest Jokes For The Internet.
of 35 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Subtle Simplicity Is Selective.
of 33 votes, 39% like it
|
I Can Make Ends Meet, Usually By Tricking One With A Cunning Ruse
of 51 votes, 29% like it
|
Catching Up Is Harder Than Falling Behind, Especially On Tomatoes
of 47 votes, 28% like it
|
|
Time Is Making It Not Be The Time You Want It To Be, And Space.
of 43 votes, 21% like it
|
I Don't Put Words In Peoples Mouths, It's Unsanitary.
of 43 votes, 44% like it
|
I Love Type Tees, But The Typewriter Always Jams.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Drawing A Blank Takes All My Brain Power.
of 32 votes, 44% like it
|
Rocket Science: Helping Coyotes Travel Faster Than Roadrunners.
of 35 votes, 54% like it
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I Could Go For Some Awe, But So Far I've Only Found Amazement.
of 47 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Color By Numbers Helps Me Paint The Town Red.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
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I Took A Walk On The Wild Side Once, It Bit Me In The Ass.
of 33 votes, 36% like it
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I'm On My Way To That Place Where I Did That One Thing That Time.
of 46 votes, 41% like it
|
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At Times My Imagination Runs Away From Me, It's Afraid Of Rides.
of 41 votes, 27% like it
|
I Sometimes Find Punctuation More Confusing Than Philosophy.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
|
If You're Going To Send Me To The Moon, Please Pack Crackers.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
|
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I Refuse To Take Long Walks Off Short Piers Without My Floaties.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
|
My Favorite Toys Are Made Out Of Plastic And Imagination.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
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I Am Not A Cowboy And I'd Prefer To Be Wanted Alive.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
|
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Money Doesn't Grow On Trees Because It's Hiding Out In My Sofa.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
|
The World Would Have Far Less Tension If Hugs Came With Ass Grabs
of 35 votes, 31% like it
|
I Saw A Red Door, I'm Painting The Town To Match.
of 30 votes, 37% like it
|
|
Cheaters Never Prosper, But Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves Might.
of 37 votes, 43% like it
|
I Learn Everything I Need To Know From Science Fiction Movies.
of 47 votes, 64% like it
|
(front) I Have Never Told A Lie. (back) I Just Lied.
of 40 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Algebra Crushed My Dreams Of Building Forts Professionally.
of 48 votes, 42% like it
|
Two Shakes Of A Leg If You're Happy And You Know How To Dance.
of 45 votes, 47% like it
|
I Love Eating Fruit, It Makes Me Feel Like I'm In An Arcade Game.
of 56 votes, 66% like it
|
|
Curiosity Doesn't Kill Cats, Following Mice Into Danger Does.
of 46 votes, 43% like it
|
I Don't Have An Attitude Problem, Clearly It's Everyone Else.
of 45 votes, 44% like it
|
Technology Needs To Get Cooler Faster, I Can't Wait To Teleport.
of 44 votes, 57% like it
|
|
This Shirt Comes With Authentic Battle Damage.
of 48 votes, 58% like it
|
You Say Silent But Deadly, I Say Ninja.
of 46 votes, 59% like it
|
I Saved Me From Myself, It Was Epic.
of 50 votes, 60% like it
|
|
I Climbed A Bean Stalk Once, I Didn't Find Jack.
of 63 votes, 67% like it
|
I Received A Higher Education By Reading On Top Of Ladders.
of 58 votes, 60% like it
|
Dodgeball Taught Me How To Survive In The Real World.
of 62 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Sometimes Dewey Decimal Has A Hard Time Getting His Point Across.
of 60 votes, 72% like it
|
I Feel Like Making Love, But Cupcakes Sound Easier.
of 64 votes, 59% like it
|
Do Not Feed The Animals, They'd Rather Eat You Anyway.
of 58 votes, 72% like it
|
|
My Imagination Isn't Wild, It's Free Range.
of 57 votes, 61% like it
|
Illogical: Sounding Out Words To Find Them In The Dictionary.
of 50 votes, 54% like it
|
Say What You Will About Irrational Fears, But Clowns Are Scary.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I'm Napping On The Inside.
of 50 votes, 70% like it
|
Having A Heart Of Gold May Lead To Eating A Lot Of Carrots.
of 46 votes, 43% like it
|
I Love Mixed Metaphors, They Taste Better Than Mixed Veggies.
of 46 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Scientific Experiments Are Fun! Now Please, Stop Squirming.
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
I Have A Plucky Sense Of Humor, Therefore I'm My Own Sidekick.
of 51 votes, 37% like it
|
Cannibals Prefer A Cuppa Joe In The Morning Over A Glass Of OJ.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Fairies Find Tall Tales To Be Discriminatory, And Bias To Ogres.
of 51 votes, 45% like it
|
Another One I'd Prefer, Is Not To Bite Or Eat Your Dust.
of 48 votes, 31% like it
|
Someone Poured Sugar On Me Once, It Led To Sticky Situations.
of 48 votes, 40% like it
|
|
I Used To Have Sweet Dreams, But It Attracted Too Many Bed Bugs.
of 48 votes, 67% like it
|
Oranges: Glad You Didn't Say Banana And That You Stopped Knocking
of 36 votes, 61% like it
|
My Members Only Jacket Is In The Wash, Consider This A Substitute
of 38 votes, 61% like it
|
|
If I Had Two Left Feet, Instead Of Dancing, I'd Join The Circus.
of 46 votes, 65% like it
|
Grandmas: Because Those Cookies Aren't Going To Bake Themselves.
of 60 votes, 83% like it
|
I Made This Up So I Could Go To Chicago. Did It Work?
of 36 votes, 39% like it
|
|
The Only Tongue Twisters I Know Are Cherry Stems.
of 45 votes, 49% like it
|
Protest March. And Any Other Month Without Gift Bearing Holidays.
of 45 votes, 58% like it
|
Being Mint In Box Makes A Life Of Action Difficult.
of 46 votes, 39% like it
|
|
I'm Enjoying Today. You May Be Interrupting.
of 50 votes, 52% like it
|
My Invisibility Cloak Provides The Perfect Cover.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
|
I Only Have To Run Faster Than You And The Zombie Behind Us.
of 46 votes, 61% like it
|
|
An Apple A Day Would Make You Rotten Down To The Core.
of 40 votes, 40% like it
|
The True Masters Of Misdirection, Traffic Signals.
of 40 votes, 33% like it
|
Too Bad This Shirt Does't Say What I'm Currently Thinking About .
of 52 votes, 69% like it
|
|
I Hate When People Whisper. It Makes Eavesdropping Hard.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
|
I Believe In Spirits And I Prefer Them Shaken, Not Stirred.
of 58 votes, 59% like it
|
Handlebar Mustaches: Making It Okay For Dorks To Ride Motorcycles
of 50 votes, 40% like it
|
|
I Love Food. I Won't Eat Anything Else.
of 64 votes, 58% like it
|
Look Out, I'm Fighting Crime. Bang! Splat! Pow! Zlonk!
of 53 votes, 68% like it
|
I Don't Know The Meaning Of Life, I Lost My Dictionary.
of 63 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Money Back Guarantee: I Guaranty You Won't Get Your Money Back.
of 60 votes, 52% like it
|
Being Part Bionic Makes Living An Organic Lifestyle Difficult.
of 68 votes, 65% like it
|
The Big Bad Wolf Needs To Just Say No To Huffing And Puffing.
of 69 votes, 64% like it
|
|
The Problem With Evildoers Is Their One Ring Melted In Lava.
of 69 votes, 38% like it
|
Pretty Please With Sugar On Top: If You Want To Be An Ant Hill.
of 67 votes, 33% like it
|
I'm Not Technologically Savvy, I Send Text Messages In Bottles.
of 69 votes, 71% like it
|
|
The Monkeys Only Make You Think Space Exploration Is Dangerous.
of 55 votes, 53% like it
|
I Think The Big Bad Wolf Just Has A Sweet Tooth For Red Dye No. 5
of 55 votes, 42% like it
|
Black Holes Are Just A Handle Away From Being Vacuums.
of 66 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Alphabet Soup Is So Often Type Cast.
of 57 votes, 51% like it
|
99 Is Such An Odd Number, What Happened To That Last Balloon?
of 66 votes, 62% like it
|
Word Association Games Are Fun With Numbers.
of 51 votes, 37% like it
|
|
My Favorite Colors Are The Ones That Taste Delicious.
of 64 votes, 70% like it
|
Color Me Excited, Preferably With Non-Toxic Markers.
of 63 votes, 60% like it
|
Llamas And Rolling Stones Agree: Being A Beast of Burden is Hard.
of 47 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Inspiration Strikes When Under A Tree. No, Wait That's Lightning.
of 59 votes, 61% like it
|
Online, Embarrassment Just Means Creating A New User Account.
of 62 votes, 61% like it
|
Sometimes I Cut In Line. Please Don't Tell The Person Behind Me.
of 62 votes, 65% like it
|
|
This Is Just A Distraction So My Sidekick Could Sneak Up On You.
of 71 votes, 55% like it
|
If I Were Radioactive I'd Be Glowing. (glow ink) Oh No.
of 66 votes, 67% like it
|
Being Lost In Space Would Be A Lot Cooler With A Robot.
of 53 votes, 57% like it
|
|
For Being A Frontier, Space Sure Is Lacking Tumbleweeds.
of 70 votes, 54% like it
|
WITH CAPS LOCK EVERYTHING SEEMS DEFINITIVE, Even When It's Not.
of 58 votes, 47% like it
|
Sometimes Life Doesn't Add Up, I Blame My Math Teacher.
of 68 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Curses! I Left My Diabolical Mustache In My Secret Hide Out.
of 78 votes, 62% like it
|
I Took Candy From A Stranger Once, They Cried So I Gave It Back.
of 67 votes, 52% like it
|
I Forgot My Thinking Cap At Home.
of 59 votes, 46% like it
|
|
When I Grow Up I'm Going To Be A Fossil.
of 79 votes, 67% like it
|
I Threw Caution To The Wind, It Came Back And Hit Me In The Head.
of 75 votes, 69% like it
|
I Prefer Made Up Words To Low Maintenance Ones, They're Prettier.
of 61 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Was Going To Be An Action Hero But My Stunt Double Had A Mishap.
of 60 votes, 43% like it
|
I Love Poking Urchins.
of 64 votes, 41% like it
|
Look I Have A Really Cool Shirt On Too!
of 64 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I'm Not Walking Fast, You're In Slow Motion.
of 78 votes, 50% like it
|
(regular)I Enjoy Movie Quotes(small) And Passing Them Off As Mine
of 68 votes, 46% like it
|
Generally I Won't Laugh With You But I'll Laugh At You.
of 69 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Sometimes I Say Politically Incorrect Things.
of 70 votes, 44% like it
|
Few Things Embarrass Me More Than My Childhood Haircuts.
of 71 votes, 59% like it
|
Having Poor Taste Means You'll Never Go Hungry.
of 70 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Action Movies Speak Louder Than Books Without Pictures.
of 127 votes, 80% like it
|
I Find Cautionary Tales Are Keen On Preventative Measures.
of 64 votes, 59% like it
|
I Think Plaid Patterns Are Best Worn By Squares.
of 62 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Sometimes I Say Inappropriate Things Improperly.
of 56 votes, 48% like it
|
Love Songs Are Best Left To Country Singers And Karaoke Lounges.
of 58 votes, 55% like it
|
I Have Enough Initiative For Failure To Be An Option.
of 67 votes, 55% like it
|
|
I Used To Be A Court Jester, But The Judge Gave Me The Ax.
of 58 votes, 45% like it
|
If Time Is An Illusion, Why Am I Always Late?
of 72 votes, 56% like it
|
Life Isn't Fair, But If It Had A Ferris Wheel I'd Be Happier.
of 74 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Being Stuck In The Middle Isn't Bad, If You're Peanut Butter.
of 76 votes, 50% like it
|
Once Zombies Are Real I Can't Hit Reset When I'm Bitten.
of 59 votes, 39% like it
|
I Never Understood How That Little Piggy Made It Thru The Market.
of 66 votes, 41% like it
|
|
We Had Plans For World Domination, There's A Scheduling Conflict.
of 76 votes, 45% like it
|
Grim Reapers Always Steal The Scene During The Final Act.
of 64 votes, 38% like it
|
I Find That Sock Puppets Are The Easiest Actors To Work With.
of 73 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Sometimes I Eat My Words And Play With My Food.
of 79 votes, 65% like it
|
Never Mind The Future, Send Me Back In Time!
of 70 votes, 40% like it
|
I Prefer To Keep Books In My Trunk Rather Than Junk.
of 64 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Heroes Not Only Save Lives, They Also Satisfy Hunger.
of 67 votes, 39% like it
|
Being A Solid Gold Dancer Is Actually Quite Difficult.
of 63 votes, 48% like it
|
I Have Yet To Open A Fortune Cookie And Get Any Money.
of 81 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I Have Yet To Open A Fortune Cookie And Get Money.
of 69 votes, 46% like it
|
If Love Bites, Arm Yourself With A Wood Stake And Wear Garlic.
of 72 votes, 39% like it
|
I Sing And Dance Around My Home In A White Shirt And Tube Socks.
of 58 votes, 40% like it
|
|
At Times Smells Remind Me Of My Childhood, This Is One Of Them.
of 57 votes, 39% like it
|
At Times Smells Remind Me Of My Childhood, This Isn't One Of Them
of 58 votes, 45% like it
|
I Don't Karaoke, But I Can Sing 99 Luftballoons In German.
of 56 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I Don't Karaoke, But I Can Sing 99 Luftballoons In Deutsch.
of 55 votes, 36% like it
|
Personally, I'm Ready To Be Rocked Like A Hurricane.
of 74 votes, 39% like it
|
I Find That When Trying To Score, Knowing Math Is Best.
of 62 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Since I'm Not One Of The Three Bears, I Lock My Front Door.
of 59 votes, 42% like it
|
I Find That When Trying To Score, Knowing The Math Is Best.
of 58 votes, 45% like it
|
I Was Funny Once. Judging By The Look On Your Face, It's Not Now.
of 61 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I Don't Need Magic, I Use The Force.
of 73 votes, 53% like it
|
I Listen To Wrap Music, It's All About Makin' That Paper.
of 63 votes, 43% like it
|
Save The Forests. Centaurs, Wood Nymphs And Gnomes Count On You.
of 74 votes, 55% like it
|
|
(front)Once Upon A Time... (back) The End.
of 77 votes, 55% like it
|
If You Find This On The Floor, It Means I'm Naked.
of 74 votes, 47% like it
|
My Brain Is Powered By A Zombie On A Treadmill.
of 59 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Country Music And 80s Pop Make For The Best Karaoke.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
|
I Found The End Of The Rainbow And All I Got Was This Shirt.
of 59 votes, 42% like it
|
Pigs Will Fly When A Fat Lady Sings While Hell Freezes Over.
of 63 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I Can't Figure Out How There Are Flying Monkeys, But Not Pigs.
of 63 votes, 40% like it
|
When It Comes To Fighting, I Prefer Pillows.
of 71 votes, 61% like it
|
Window Shopping Panes Me.
of 63 votes, 44% like it
|
|
(on back)If You're Reading This, It Means I Won Our Foot Race.
of 65 votes, 54% like it
|
I Wanted To Be Original Today, So I Wore This Shirt.
of 69 votes, 41% like it
|
Quick! No One's Looking, Let's Run Away And Join The Circus!
of 61 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Curious Minds Want To Know What Exactly Happened To The Cat?
of 68 votes, 43% like it
|
If I Were Really Rubber And You Were Glue, We'd Be Archenemies.
of 64 votes, 41% like it
|
Tongue Twisters Are Best With Minty Fresh Breath.
of 60 votes, 40% like it
|
|
I'm The Little Piggy That Went To Market.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
|
I've Been Running Behind All Day. Could I Walk In Front Of You?
of 59 votes, 46% like it
|
I Love Fortune Cookies. <glow ink>That Wasn't Chicken.
of 59 votes, 42% like it
|
|
I Had A Thought, Then Sold It For A Penny.
of 63 votes, 43% like it
|
Excuse Me, I'm Marching To The Beat Of A Different Drummer.
of 60 votes, 45% like it
|
My Mind Is Wandering, Have You Seen It?
of 58 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Being A Rock Star Really Only Applies To Heavy Metals.
of 57 votes, 49% like it
|
When I Think Fast My Heart Races.
of 54 votes, 46% like it
|
Unlike Magicians, Chemists Really Can Make Things Disappear.
of 62 votes, 56% like it
|
|
I Love A Light Breeze, So I Built My House Out Of Straw.
of 59 votes, 49% like it
|
I Love A Light Breeze, So I Build My House Out Of Straw.
of 55 votes, 42% like it
|
Bananas Think Oranges Are Crazy.
of 53 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Please Step Aside, I'm Walking My Pet Liger.
of 55 votes, 45% like it
|
I Used To Play The Flute, But Mice Kept Following Me.
of 70 votes, 59% like it
|
Nerds Don't Play Sports. We're Smart Enough To Keep Score.
of 64 votes, 48% like it
|
|
My Chairs Are Not Musically Inclined, They Just Sit Around.
of 78 votes, 45% like it
|
Money Doesn't Make The World Go Round, Science Does.
of 75 votes, 43% like it
|
I Can't Foresee The Future, That's What My Magic 8 Ball Is For.
of 74 votes, 66% like it
|
|
I'm Not Athletic, So I Sport Ties.
of 68 votes, 37% like it
|
I Kept My Brain In A Jar, Until Someone Walked Off With It.
of 62 votes, 44% like it
|
I Monopolize Time At Boardwalk and Park Place.
of 69 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Construction Workers Whistle While They Work.
of 64 votes, 41% like it
|
Coals Are Just Diamonds In The Rough.
of 60 votes, 38% like it
|
Love Letters And Bad Words Are The Good vs Evil of Grammar.
of 60 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I Substitute Witty Conversation With Clever Words On My Shirt.
of 65 votes, 43% like it
|
All That Glitters Doesn't Just Come In Gold, It's Glitter!
of 57 votes, 42% like it
|
I'm Uncensored When Your Back Is Turned.
of 61 votes, 44% like it
|
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Depending On Your Point Of View, It Can Be Unusual To Be Loved.
of 64 votes, 38% like it
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You're Right. (small) I'm Going To Throw This In Your Face Later.
of 62 votes, 42% like it
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When Opportunity Knocks I Pretend I'm Not Home.
of 71 votes, 42% like it
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Being Last Minute May Be Bad, But The Day Wouldn't End Otherwise.
of 61 votes, 38% like it
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I'd Rather Be A Butcher or A Baker Than A Candlestick Maker.
of 67 votes, 46% like it
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Running With Scissors Isn't Dangerous, Falling Down Is.
of 89 votes, 64% like it
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I Was Going To Join A Soapbox Derby, But I Hate Public Speaking.
of 64 votes, 39% like it
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Love In An Elevator Only Works With Good Musak To Set The Mood.
of 66 votes, 39% like it
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Flying A Kite Is Fun, Unless You're Last Name Is Franklin.
of 64 votes, 39% like it
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Mimes Are Just Anti-Social Clowns.
of 83 votes, 61% like it
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That Chicken's Been Behind Me Since I Crossed The Road.
of 68 votes, 53% like it
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Unicorns And Leprechauns Agree: Rainbows Are Awesome!
of 61 votes, 48% like it
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My Lap Is A Magician, It Disappears When I Stand Up.
of 70 votes, 44% like it
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My Unicorn Never Gets Picked To Play Leap Frog.
of 69 votes, 39% like it
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My Resolutions Have Unresolved Issues.
of 69 votes, 38% like it
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I Wear A Mohair Suit And Electric Boots While Traveling On Jets.
of 67 votes, 30% like it
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I Always Drop It Like It's Hot, When I Forget To Use Potholders.
of 71 votes, 51% like it
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Bricks Are Worth Their Weight In Gold. Just Ask That Last Pig.
of 66 votes, 38% like it
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My Glass Doesn't See Itself as Half Full or Empty, It's a Glass.
of 57 votes, 40% like it
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Technically Technical Difficulties Are Only Hard on Technicians.
of 67 votes, 37% like it
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I'm As Sweet As Lemon Meringue Pie.
of 64 votes, 31% like it
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My Brainstorms During Any Kind Of Weather.
of 63 votes, 37% like it
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Love Triangles Hate Squares.
of 68 votes, 54% like it
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I'm Bored. Let's Build A Fort.
of 80 votes, 56% like it
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Love Bites and Sucks, Therefore It Must Be A Vampire.
of 59 votes, 34% like it
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I'm Preparing For Life on Mars, I Just Bought a Terrarium.
of 57 votes, 39% like it
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I Don't Have a Green Thumb, But My Leprechaun Does.
of 68 votes, 54% like it
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I Prefer My Meat To Be Vegetarian.
of 55 votes, 49% like it
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Food: A Great Excuse to Drink.
of 61 votes, 48% like it
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Want To Kiss? (boxes with yes, no, maybe)
of 62 votes, 39% like it
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I'm Allergic To Dogs. Especially The Double Dare Breed.
of 61 votes, 34% like it
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Santa Claus: The Original Stranger With Candy.
of 76 votes, 54% like it
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Optical Illusions Are Mind Games I Play With Myself.
of 65 votes, 37% like it
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Optical Illusions Are Mind Games I Play On Myself.
of 61 votes, 34% like it
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Even Dim Lights Have Bright Ideas.
of 59 votes, 42% like it
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If I Sang For My Supper, I'd Starve.
of 55 votes, 42% like it
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Gravity Boots Make It Hard To Moonwalk.
of 66 votes, 41% like it
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Vicious Cycles Chase Their Own Tails.
of 74 votes, 47% like it
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Gumshoes Get Into Sticky Situations.
of 72 votes, 43% like it
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Plumbers Crack Under the Pressure of Plungers.
of 68 votes, 31% like it
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I Have Nothing; It's Not Much, But It's Something.
of 65 votes, 43% like it
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Battle Royale With Cheese Sandwiches Are Hazardous To Your Health
of 56 votes, 43% like it
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Bataille Royale, Avec Du Fromage, Sounds Amazing.
of 57 votes, 39% like it
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I Hate Change, So I Keep It In A Jar.
of 76 votes, 62% like it
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Rainbows Actually Aren't Very Tasty.
of 72 votes, 44% like it
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I Talk To Myself When I'm Alone.
of 69 votes, 46% like it
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Being Rocked Like A Hurricane Sounds Quite Unpleasant.
of 72 votes, 53% like it
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Cheeky Monkeys Are Actually Baboons.
of 71 votes, 42% like it
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Arrows Don't Know it's Not Polite to Point.
of 75 votes, 49% like it
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When The Going Gets Tough, Bananas Split.
of 76 votes, 43% like it
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Eating Salad Doesn't Make Me a Bunny, The Fuzzy Tail and Ears Do.
of 81 votes, 46% like it
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Reality: Unlike Bigfoot and Lochness, Algebra Does Not Exist.
of 75 votes, 36% like it
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Librarians and Ninjas Agree: Silence is Golden.
of 96 votes, 52% like it
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Taking A Bite Out Of Crimes Leaves A Bad Taste In My Mouth
of 77 votes, 57% like it
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If Uranus had a handlebar mustache maybe I'd live there!
of 80 votes, 38% like it
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Handlebar Mustaches Tickle My Fancy
of 89 votes, 38% like it
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Your Handlebar Mustache Tickles My Fancy
of 87 votes, 44% like it
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I Want You to Want Me. I Need You to Need My Handlebar Mustache.
of 82 votes, 32% like it
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Pinky & the Brain Just Needed a Handlebar Mustache
of 77 votes, 34% like it
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The Joker: Just a Handlebar Mustache Away From Beating Batman
of 76 votes, 41% like it
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The Darkside: Epic Fail Due to Lack of Handlebar Mustache
of 77 votes, 39% like it
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How exactly does one draw a blank?
of 125 votes, 67% like it
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When the lights go down in the city I turn on my porch light.
of 105 votes, 32% like it
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Walking: Helping People Get Around Since Before the Wheel
of 112 votes, 60% like it
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I'm not a genius, but I play one on the internet.
of 127 votes, 48% like it
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Nothing doesn't rhyme with orange.
of 138 votes, 66% like it
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now that i'm older, i understand what the adults in Peanuts say
of 228 votes, 67% like it
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just cause i haven't met them doesn't mean my friends aren't real
of 208 votes, 55% like it
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out it's nose?
of 200 votes, 49% like it
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