Scootman
Scootman aka Matt S. is a 26.99 year old boy, has been a member since July 3, 2007, has scored 3834 submissions, giving an average score of 1.83.
URL: http://www.myspace.com/matthewsshaffer
Synonym's just another word for synonym.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Adjectives: Always describing, never listening.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
I'm not a serial killer, I'm more of an oatmeal guy.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
Space: The Final Frontier Between Two Words.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Chivalry is NOT the act of stabbing someone.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
The Devil didn't make me do it, just gave me a good idea.
of 41 votes, 24% like it
Rock, Paper, Scissors: The Ultimate Decision Maker.
of 52 votes, 29% like it
Everytime I italicize, I get an inflection.
of 52 votes, 29% like it
I don't worship Satan, I just really like his music.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
Gloaters become floaters.
of 49 votes, 10% like it
Everyone needs an arch nemesis.
of 49 votes, 22% like it
I'm glad you wore your beard today.
of 49 votes, 16% like it
Don't worry, I'm just a hologram.
of 52 votes, 37% like it
I took a bite out of crime and it tasted like dog fur.
of 50 votes, 36% like it
LSD: Yes, Those Giant Fire-Breathing Cats Are Eating Your House
of 46 votes, 17% like it
Beavers Don't Give A Dam.
of 48 votes, 29% like it
I Yell 'BINGO!' At Inappropriate Times.
of 48 votes, 23% like it
Bees and Beavers Just Make Themselves Look Busy.
of 48 votes, 23% like it
Constructive Criticism: Politely Hurting Feelings.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
Boogie Fever Should Be Taken Seriously.
of 49 votes, 33% like it
Walkin' on Sunshine Causes Serious Burns.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
The soundtrack to my life skips.
of 53 votes, 42% like it
Duck Hunt: Why can't I just shoot the dog? He laughs at me.
of 54 votes, 30% like it
You scream for ice cream. I scream for the fun of it.
of 53 votes, 32% like it
Only you can prevent forest fires, unless arson's your thing.
of 52 votes, 29% like it
The Beaver: Nature's Punchline.
of 57 votes, 23% like it
FACT: You are reading this.
of 60 votes, 38% like it
Alcohol: Making The Irrational Seem Rational.
of 57 votes, 23% like it
The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's paved.
of 56 votes, 25% like it
Feudalism: Serf's Up, My Lord.
of 55 votes, 31% like it
Abattoir's just a fancy word for slaughterhouse
of 55 votes, 11% like it
Hockey: The "We're Not Cheaters" Sport
of 54 votes, 4% like it
Beards: Not Just For Lumberjacks Anymore!
of 51 votes, 25% like it
Space: The Final Frontier... 'Cause we gave up on the ocean.
of 54 votes, 24% like it
Shark Attacks Are A Bloody Good Time.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
The Camera: Stealing Souls Since 1827.
of 53 votes, 36% like it
Lawn Darts: The Fun Lobotomy.
of 52 votes, 17% like it
Hey God, Darwin called. He said you're a liar.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
I talk in an obsolete vernacular.
of 55 votes, 24% like it
Maybe the dinosaurs died of boredom.
of 61 votes, 46% like it
TV: The Third Parent.
of 57 votes, 21% like it
There's no place like home unless a parallel universe exists.
of 57 votes, 37% like it
I hear the Jedi health plan is great.
of 55 votes, 42% like it
Reincarnation: Maybe it'll be better this time.
of 55 votes, 27% like it
Cats are just the unemployed reincarnated.
of 54 votes, 31% like it
If pillaging is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
of 57 votes, 39% like it
Cartoons: Defying the Law of Physics Since 1908.
of 57 votes, 49% like it
The roads would be a lot safer if we all drove Bumper Cars.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
Shoeless people have no soles.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
Sometimes 'Y' just wants to be around other consonants.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
Verbs make us do stuff.
of 60 votes, 45% like it
I scream at old people.
of 59 votes, 20% like it
What if a woodchuck didn't chuck wood at all?
of 56 votes, 21% like it
I'm not schizophrenic, but I am.
of 68 votes, 29% like it
Welfare: The American Dream
of 66 votes, 20% like it
Grammar ain't got nothin' on me.
of 63 votes, 24% like it
Dynamite: Making fishing fun since 1867.
of 66 votes, 29% like it
What's Frosty got in that corncob pipe?
of 62 votes, 21% like it
Voodoo Dolls: Makes hurting people FUN!
of 62 votes, 23% like it
A.D.D.: What were we talking about again?
of 57 votes, 26% like it
When God hands you lemons... find a new God.
of 58 votes, 14% like it
Besides apples, a restraining order will keep the doctor away.
of 59 votes, 24% like it
Art is for people who hate math.
of 60 votes, 28% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
*Missing field required.
of 36 votes, 8% like it
Abattoir's just a fancy word for slaughterhouse.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
Artists: We're Not Just Cave Painters Anymore!
of 53 votes, 19% like it
Bigfoot: Nature's Inside Joke.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Brown Henway.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
Did you just look at my chest? Jerk.
of 71 votes, 15% like it
Don't Get Too Close, I'm Boobytrapped.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
Etcetera: Laziness, Just a Really Long List, Etc.
of 35 votes, 6% like it
Every time I hear a bell, I drool all over. Damn Pavlov.
of 52 votes, 19% like it
Evolution: Why believe anything else?
of 68 votes, 13% like it
Ewoks: Cute Tree People or Bloodthirsty Savages?
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Guns don't kill people, ninjas who come out of nowhere do.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Guns don't kill people, puppies do.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Hell: All your friends are there.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
Hockey: The "Hey We're Not Cheaters" Sport
of 35 votes, 11% like it
Hockey: The "Hey We're Not On Steroids" Sport
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Hockey: The "Non-Steroid Pumping" Sport
of 40 votes, 5% like it
Horrors of Inflation: When Penny Candy is No Longer A Penny.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
I bought the soundtrack to my life used.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
I can communicate with animals... in my stomach.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
I Cheat At Boardgames.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
I command you not to read this!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
I pour salt on slugs.
of 43 votes, 12% like it
I Speak In Hieroglyphics.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
I usually don't wear this shirt, but...
of 45 votes, 18% like it
I'd rather be a tree hugger than a stump grinder.
of 49 votes, 18% like it
I'd rather be seal clubbing.
of 36 votes, 11% like it
I'm giving up Lent for Lent.
of 59 votes, 15% like it
If you can read this, you're nocturnal. (in glow ink)
of 35 votes, 9% like it
In Spring, a lion and a lamb are involved. My guess is sacrifice.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
Iron Maiden: Not Just A Torture Device Anymore!
of 49 votes, 18% like it
It actually is too late to "Whip It".
of 51 votes, 14% like it
John Q. Public and John Doe are actually cousins.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
Ketchup is just vegan blood.
of 42 votes, 17% like it
Lawn Darts: Yeah, They're Safe.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
Life Should Come With An Eraser.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Math: Who Cares?
of 39 votes, 8% like it
My other cat is a dog.
of 44 votes, 14% like it
My other dog is a cat.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
Neck bolts are always in fashion.
of 47 votes, 19% like it
Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires. Not Anyone Else.
of 52 votes, 19% like it
Opposable Thumbs: Hey, it beats a prehensile tail. Or does it?
of 47 votes, 15% like it
Pickles make great pets.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Pinball Wizards Usually Don't Wear That Cool Hat.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Sex: Why Is The Bird Hanging Out With The Bee Again?
of 42 votes, 17% like it
Sliced Bread: The Best Thing Since Itself.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Subs can't be heros.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
That cellphone doesn't make you look cool.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
The Leaf Blower: The Lazy Man's Rake
of 49 votes, 18% like it
The only thing kissing a frog will get ya is Salmonella.
of 53 votes, 21% like it
There's always a 50% chance of rain. It will or it won't.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
There's nothing better than fresh baked chocolate chip Wookies.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
Turns out I did shoot the Sheriff.
of 50 votes, 14% like it
TV: The Last Minute Babysitter.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
Water: Mother Nature's Pee.
of 36 votes, 6% like it
When buying a Stairway To Heaven, have good credit.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Winning is for people who care.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
Yep, I'm the one who yells "Slayer" at a concert.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
Yes, I was born in a barn.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
You know a Vampire's sick when they're coffin.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
My gallery photos
I haven't submitted any photos. I guess I don't want free money.

My designs
→ All of my designs

All about me
I sketch/design/illustrate and come up with rather bizarre ideas. Most are unfinished, it's just what I do. It's how I work. I love coming up with anything to do with tentacles, tikis and eyeballs as you will see in my designs and such. Enjoy!

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Update: Oct 13, '08
Update: Adam White
Threadspotting every Friday!
You know they'll love it!
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