*Missing field required.
of 36 votes, 8% like it
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A.D.D.: What were we talking about again?
of 62 votes, 24% like it
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Abattoir's just a fancy word for slaughterhouse
of 55 votes, 11% like it
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Abattoir's just a fancy word for slaughterhouse.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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Adjectives: Always describing, never listening.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Alcohol: Making The Irrational Seem Rational.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
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Artists: We're Not Just Cave Painters Anymore!
of 53 votes, 19% like it
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Beavers Don't Give A Dam.
of 57 votes, 28% like it
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Bees and Beavers Just Make Themselves Look Busy.
of 50 votes, 22% like it
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Besides apples, a restraining order will keep the doctor away.
of 61 votes, 23% like it
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Bigfoot: Missing Link or Feral Hobo?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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Bigfoot: Nature's Inside Joke.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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Brown Henway.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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Chivalry is NOT the act of stabbing someone.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
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Cough drops are structurally unsound for the halls of medicine.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Ctrl Z: The Digital Mulligan
of 33 votes, 12% like it
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Did you just look at my chest? Jerk.
of 71 votes, 15% like it
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Does anyone know who "they" really are?
of 31 votes, 19% like it
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Don't Get Too Close, I'm Boobytrapped.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
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Don't take this the wrong way, I hate your face.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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Don't worry ladies, Pirates are all about the booty.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Doppelganger's just a fancy word for stalker.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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Duck Hunt: Why can't I just shoot the dog? He laughs at me.
of 63 votes, 30% like it
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Emoticons are the work of Satan.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
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Etcetera: Laziness, Just a Really Long List, Etc.
of 35 votes, 6% like it
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Every time I hear a bell, I drool all over. Damn Pavlov.
of 52 votes, 19% like it
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Everyone needs an arch nemesis.
of 51 votes, 22% like it
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Evolution: Why believe anything else?
of 68 votes, 13% like it
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Ewoks: Cute Tree People or Bloodthirsty Savages?
of 39 votes, 13% like it
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Eww, I've got book worms. Stupid nerds.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Fonts are my only friends.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
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For eating brains all the time, zombies sure are slow.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
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Gloaters become floaters.
of 50 votes, 10% like it
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Grammar ain't got nothin' on me.
of 64 votes, 23% like it
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Grand Theft Auto: Not just for criminals anymore!
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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Guns don't kill people, ninjas who come out of nowhere do.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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Guns don't kill people, puppies do.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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Have you met my friends Helvetica and Palatino?
of 29 votes, 14% like it
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Hell: All your friends are there.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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Hey look! A unicorn!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
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Hindsight's 20-20 only if you've got glasses... and 4 eyes.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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Hockey: The "Hey We're Not Cheaters" Sport
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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Hockey: The "Hey We're Not On Steroids" Sport
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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Hockey: The "Non-Steroid Pumping" Sport
of 40 votes, 5% like it
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Hockey: The "We're Not Cheaters" Sport
of 56 votes, 4% like it
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Horrors of Inflation: When Penny Candy is No Longer A Penny.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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I am superior to your inferior.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
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I bought the soundtrack to my life used.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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I can communicate with animals... in my stomach.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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I Cheat At Boardgames.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
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I command you not to read this!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
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I don't fear the unknown 'cause it might be a litter of puppies.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
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I don't fear the unknown 'cause it might be cupcakes.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
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I fear the unknown 'cause it might be a knife-wielding schizo.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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I memorized Pi. Top that.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
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I pour salt on slugs.
of 43 votes, 12% like it
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I scream at old people.
of 60 votes, 20% like it
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I Speak In Hieroglyphics.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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I TALK IN ALL CAPS.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
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I talk in an obsolete vernacular.
of 56 votes, 23% like it
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I usually don't wear this shirt, but...
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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I wish my grandmother had sharp teeth and fur too...
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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I Yell 'BINGO!' At Inappropriate Times.
of 50 votes, 22% like it
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I'd like to draw you in the nude sometime.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
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I'd rather be a tree hugger than a stump grinder.
of 49 votes, 18% like it
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I'd rather be seal clubbing.
of 36 votes, 11% like it
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I'm giving up Lent for Lent.
of 59 votes, 15% like it
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I'm glad you wore your beard today.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
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I'm just wearing this shirt to conceal my secret identity.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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I'm the other mammal that lays eggs.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
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I've got eyes in the back of my head, they're surgically placed.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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I've got particles all over me!
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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Icicles make great murder weapons.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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If I wore my heart on my sleeve, I'd be hemorraging by now.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
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If you can read this, you're nocturnal. (in glow ink)
of 35 votes, 9% like it
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Imaginary Friends: Hallucination or Loneliness?
of 24 votes, 13% like it
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In Spring, a lion and a lamb are involved. My guess is sacrifice.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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Inflation's caused the best things in life to cost money now.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Iron Maiden: Not Just A Torture Device Anymore!
of 49 votes, 18% like it
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Is my participle hanging out?
of 31 votes, 19% like it
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Is my particle hanging out?
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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It actually is too late to "Whip It".
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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John Q. Public and John Doe are actually cousins.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
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Ketchup is just vegan blood.
of 42 votes, 17% like it
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Lawn Darts: The Fun Lobotomy.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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Lawn Darts: Yeah, They're Safe.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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Life Should Come With An Eraser.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
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Math: Who Cares?
of 39 votes, 8% like it
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My other cat is a dog.
of 44 votes, 14% like it
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My other dog is a cat.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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Neck bolts are always in fashion.
of 47 votes, 19% like it
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Oh, is this the part where I fall down running away from you?
of 29 votes, 3% like it
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Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires. Not Anyone Else.
of 52 votes, 19% like it
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Opposable Thumbs: Hey, it beats a prehensile tail. Or does it?
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Pickles make great pets.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
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Pinball Wizards Usually Don't Wear That Cool Hat.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
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Rock, Paper, Scissors: The Ultimate Decision Maker.
of 53 votes, 28% like it
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Sex: Why Is The Bird Hanging Out With The Bee Again?
of 42 votes, 17% like it
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Shark Attacks Are A Bloody Good Time.
of 55 votes, 18% like it
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Shoeless people have no soles.
of 56 votes, 25% like it
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Sliced Bread: The Best Thing Since Itself.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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So where do I buy tuna-safe dolphin?
of 42 votes, 29% like it
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Sometimes 'Y' just wants to be around other consonants.
of 57 votes, 21% like it
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Space: The Final Frontier Between Two Words.
of 45 votes, 22% like it
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Subs can't be heros.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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Synonym's just another word for synonym.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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That cellphone doesn't make you look cool.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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The Beaver: Nature's Punchline.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
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The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's paved.
of 64 votes, 25% like it
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The Leaf Blower: The Lazy Man's Rake
of 49 votes, 18% like it
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The Letter Y: The Absentee Vowel
of 27 votes, 7% like it
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The only thing kissing a frog will get ya is Salmonella.
of 53 votes, 21% like it
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There's always a 50% chance of rain. It will or it won't.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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There's nothing better than fresh baked chocolate chip Wookies.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
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They broke the gelatin mold when they made me.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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Things were always better "back in the day."
of 33 votes, 12% like it
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Trees are easily board.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
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Trust me, my other shirt is funny.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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Turns out I did shoot the Sheriff.
of 50 votes, 14% like it
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TV: The Last Minute Babysitter.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
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TV: The Third Parent.
of 58 votes, 21% like it
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Unlike vegetarians, I will eat anything with a face.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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Voodoo Dolls: Makes hurting people FUN!
of 69 votes, 20% like it
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Water: Mother Nature's Pee.
of 36 votes, 6% like it
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Welfare: The American Dream
of 66 votes, 20% like it
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What if a woodchuck didn't chuck wood at all?
of 57 votes, 21% like it
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What's Frosty got in that corncob pipe?
of 64 votes, 20% like it
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When buying a Stairway To Heaven, have good credit.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
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When God hands you lemons... find a new God.
of 61 votes, 15% like it
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Winning is for people who care.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
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Yep, I'm the one who yells "Slayer" at a concert.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
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Yes, I was born in a barn.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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You know a Vampire's sick when they're coffin.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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You scream for ice cream. I scream for the fun of it.
of 61 votes, 28% like it
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You're looking at my nervous system, aren't you?
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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