Threadless T-Shirts - Profile for Kookaberry - I'm getting paid to hang out with a "substance abuser".

Kookaberry aka Amy has been a member since June 21, 2007, has scored 5658 submissions, giving an average score of 2.17.

URL: http://brassandglass.etsy.com

Apr 04 '08 by Kookaberry

57 Comments

Watch this

I'm getting paid to hang out with a "substance abuser".

So by day I am a behavioral health case manager. In short, I coordinate care for the mentally ill. I'm kind of like...a mommy to 25 people who don't have half a mind to bathe and accuse me of stealing their money/trying to kill them/trying to ruin their life. My clients, if they do drugs, it's like meth, crack, pain pills...really bad stuff. My dad's girlfriend is a counselor and she has a girl coming in from out of state who is a substance abuser. And by that apparently it means "she smokes pot". My dad's girlfriend charges 400 bucks per 90 min session and the girl's here for a month and she has this apartment for the month in one of the nicest parts of town. I'm getting paid to teach her where grocery stores and other necessary things are as well as sort of entertain her for the month. So my problem is twofold - how do I entertain a rich person in a town with hardly anything to do and how do I make sure I don't say something like "gee pot? that's not so bad...at least you aren't on one half of a double ended dildo for crack". I can't believe her parents are paying probably 10s of 1000s of dollars for pot smoking.

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iDanSimpson on Apr 04 '08 at 9:38pm

though i would like to, i can't think of a way to respond.

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 9:39pm

Well then just give me a fun fact.

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 9:40pm

Or a picture of Mr. T riding a camel but the camel is a robot camel. With lasers.

V1ctorya on Apr 04 '08 at 9:45pm

Have her make jewelry for your etsy site. We never did our trade set-up! I'm bad with that. savepennynow at yahoo dot com if you still want the octopus

and have her spend her days voting on designs, and cooking, or cleaning :) Can you make her your maid so get paid to help teach her life skills AND get a clean house?

iPear on Apr 04 '08 at 9:46pm

by hang out, do you mean, like....drink?

iPear on Apr 04 '08 at 9:46pm

windex?

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 9:50pm

I know dude...alcohol is totally better cause it's like...legal. Never mind no one has ever overdosed on weed in all of recorded history.

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 9:50pm

I still want the octopus! What do you want for tradie poops, Victorya?

FRICKINAWESOME on Apr 04 '08 at 9:51pm

hahaha, i used to do something similiar with people being an Intensive Case Manager for people who should have still been in a mental facility but they kicked a ton of people out for being underfunded and hired a crapload of people to make sure they didn't go crazy and take out people in "normal" society. Man, that was an intense seven month long job.

As for your pot smoking "friend", since this seems like a lost cause to begin with and more of a "parents don't know how to have a conversation and reign in a child not at all that bad when you look at the scheme of things" situation (lol@your whats-the-darren-aronofsky-movie-you-are-referencing? reference), just try to be helpful with her and just keep her on the up and up. Have your convsersations, mark it down on your notes, and just go by the book and save your strength for a patient that is actually in a fucked-up place and needs some guidance.

iPear on Apr 04 '08 at 9:51pm

that's true, how often do you hear about someone exploding their anus with fire crackers while under the influence of weed? like once....every few....years...sometimes.

Bio-bot 9000 on Apr 04 '08 at 9:52pm

so you get paid to hang out with pot heads?? That's like the opposite of my 5.4 years of college!

spacesick 2 on Apr 04 '08 at 9:52pm

I want that job. I'm good at hanging out.

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 9:53pm

I know. I'm gonna have to brush up on my leaning-against-things-skills.

V1ctorya on Apr 04 '08 at 9:54pm

iPear - you can feel free to surprise me, I'm non-peirced and don't like the colour purple, prefer reds and stuff.

V1ctorya on Apr 04 '08 at 9:55pm

oops, I meant kook, man, tired. or maybe it's the second hand pot fumes.

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 9:56pm

FA - tell me about it. Here in AZ we have the services we provide and then a long term health care option where the person needs to practically shit themselves in a corner and be unable to do anything else to qualify. I have one client I have put in at LEAST 7 or 8 different facilities in the 2 years I've had her. She inadvertently injures someone and says that they tried to rape her. At the same time she is convinced that her "guts will fall out" if she has to do so much as carry an envelope, the day after she has cracked a guy's head open. She's simply too much for our services to deal with adequately but she's "not sick enough" for court ordered treatment and the state hospital or the long term health care for a nursing home type facility. It's just...it's taking years off my life I think, lol.

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 9:57pm

lol, victorya...hmm that's right I forgot about the not pierced thing. What about a bracelet?

Hero Status on Apr 04 '08 at 10:00pm

u should probably just smoke a buncha pot with her. she'll pay.
m

V1ctorya on Apr 04 '08 at 10:01pm

bracelets work!

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 10:02pm

We have random drops at work =/ also I've never smoked weed so why start now?

Hero Status on Apr 04 '08 at 10:04pm

it would help u get into her mindset?
m

Ellsswhere on Apr 04 '08 at 10:04pm

well how do you expect to relate to her if you have never tried it

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 10:05pm

The whole idea is to have her get a...new mindset, right?

the czar on Apr 04 '08 at 10:07pm

Kudos to you for trying to help people. You must have a ton of patience

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 10:09pm

Thanks czar. I wish I could say I have a ton of patience. I suppose I can whip it out when I need to. I've kept a smile on my face while being screamed at plenty of times. Coworkers in that field vent to each other thought...a LOT.

FRICKINAWESOME on Apr 04 '08 at 10:10pm

It's truly disgusting the people who get caught in the middle of the system or even work the system for all it can because it's not equipped to deal with anyone who isn't black or white "crazy". If they don't try to harm themselves or practically kill someone, they won't get the attention they deserve. I hear ya, Kooks. I work in an ER now, and the amount of people that come in and out of here 2-3 times a week for the same symptoms, seeking drugs or just want a place to stay that isn't the street or a dingy shelter is astonishing. I just refer to them by their first names now and i'm just like, "hey, what's up so and so." That's not what ER's are set up for. But we do have over 80 fuckign beds in our ER so we kinda ask for this to happen to us. Sigh at the health care system.

the czar on Apr 04 '08 at 10:12pm

Hmmm, maybe you can eventually transition to a job where you still help folks out, but don't have to deal with so much psychosis

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 10:14pm

I have a client that we put on med boxes recently because her sedative/pain pills have magically been "lost" or "stolen" or "taken by my roommate to kill herself" 3 times in the past year (the roommate did die, but she'd had flu like symptoms, it's utterly disgusting that she used that as an opportunity to score). We can't discount her story so we have to replenish the meds. So now that she's on med boxes she's just such a huge pain in my ass. She filled her meds and whined the entire time and said it was illegal and literally said that if the doctor didn't allow her to come off of med boxes on her Monday appointment that she'd purposely decomp and get hospitalized on our government's dime and get her meds back on her own terms.

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 10:16pm

czar - that's the long term plan. I want to get my master's in industrial psychology and do consultations with corporations to make them more streamlined and their employees happier. Hopefully slightly less yelling at me involved, but who knows. =)

the czar on Apr 04 '08 at 10:18pm

Ha ha maybe, but I bet that can be frustrating too. Our head of HR just quit, because she didn't like how they over ruled her handling of a situation. Too bad, she was really on the employee's side

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 10:24pm

the czar on Apr 04 '08 at 10:30pm

haha nice!

FRICKINAWESOME on Apr 04 '08 at 10:32pm

Oh the joys of system abusers!

SnakeMan on Apr 04 '08 at 10:35pm

slightly OT: i'm moving to AZ.

ETA five months.

Kookaberry on Apr 04 '08 at 10:40pm

What the hell is wrong with you? Unless you're moving to Sedona or Flagstaff...you're a bit crazy.

SnakeMan on Apr 05 '08 at 12:23am

um...
- a place to stay (and cheap rent)
- a job
- distance from parents
- change

good reasons for moving out there, imo.

so stop calling me crazy or i'll STAB SOMEBODY.

Kookaberry on Apr 05 '08 at 2:30am

Welcome to Arizona! On your right are the crack neighborhoods and on your left is a big fucking scorpion that will sting you in the eye the moment you fall asleep.

V1ctorya on Apr 05 '08 at 8:09am

Oh Frick, you are so right about systems being fucked up. I also work in a hospital (but thankfully got out of the patient side) but before that am the child of a crazy person, living in a neighborhood full of the impoverished.

As much as us kids in that household were beaten and abused, it's the dead child who has a voice, not the living one. You're just 'a brat who needs discipline' despite the scars. No one wants to hear anything, ignorance, forced or otherwise, is easy for most people it seems. It's frustrating on all sides.

edean on Apr 05 '08 at 8:33am

you're going to become best friends with her, then when she needs to leave because she's "healed" you'll get her addicted to crack because you don't want to lose your best friend...

SnakeMan on Apr 05 '08 at 1:15pm

Welcome to Arizona! On your right are the crack neighborhoods and on your left is a big fucking scorpion that will sting you in the eye the moment you fall asleep.

lol. you think arizona has some kind of super crazy drug problem the rest of the country doesn't know about? i work with drug addicts too. as in, they are my coworkers.

Kookaberry on Apr 05 '08 at 1:38pm

I never insinuated that.

V1ctorya on Apr 05 '08 at 2:11pm

I lived in AZ as a kid. It's dangerous. More dangerous now it seems! Isn't it the state with the most serial killers at the moment?

I still love the idea of AZ though, if'n only because I need to revisit childhood haunts.

Kookaberry on Apr 05 '08 at 2:18pm

Uh...I don't know about serial killers. That DC sniper claimed his first victim in Phoenix I believe. He called the victim's daughter a few months to reconcile...it was big news. AZ is top in like car thefts, domestic abuse and like sexual assault I think. Among other things.

5napple on Apr 05 '08 at 2:19pm

kookaberry. i will be filiming peanut butter jelly time in an hour or so. then i am at the mercy of youtube.

just fyi

V1ctorya on Apr 05 '08 at 2:22pm

I thought Sheepshead Bay was tops in Car thefts? Maybe that's just in the NY area.

I beleive the domestic abuse and sexual assault though, but poverty kind of breeds that.

Yet, I'm still applying to ASU

Kookaberry on Apr 05 '08 at 2:31pm

Tempe's sort of okay these days I suppose. There's good shopping and stuff. It's just hotter than the surface of the sun. =)

Kookaberry on Apr 05 '08 at 2:31pm

I'll be looking for a blog postie with your video, 5napple.

V1ctorya on Apr 05 '08 at 2:34pm

I remember not being able to go outside barefoot cause the asphalt would burn your feet.

I remember the red radio flyer (the old metal one) so hot that our crayons melted in it.

Yeah, it gets hot there. But it's Dry Heat

Kookaberry on Apr 05 '08 at 2:36pm

There's actually a shop here called that..."But it's a dry heat". The people are probably from Wisconsin and then all their middle aged yuppie friends stand around talking about what a dry heat it is and then go buy bolo ties and go back to their gentrified barrios.

Kookaberry on Apr 05 '08 at 3:02pm

Your bracelet is done, Victorya. I'm gonna take photos and do up a little listing on Etsy.

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