I Love To Tempt Fate. I Usually Use Chocolate.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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I Feed Creationists To My Dinosaur.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
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Speed Reading May Cause Fiction Burns.
of 30 votes, 63% like it
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I Would Like My Delayed Gratification Now Please.
of 37 votes, 54% like it
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Until they Perfect Cryogenics I Sleep In My Freezer.
of 27 votes, 56% like it
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Beware Geeks Bearing Gifs.
of 45 votes, 71% like it
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Witness Protection Programme Official Souvenir.
of 50 votes, 68% like it
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Every Time The World Doesn't End, I Have To Find a New Cult.
of 68 votes, 78% like it
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The Kidnappers Paid My Mom To Take Me Back.
of 54 votes, 67% like it
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I Accidently Dissected A Prince During 8th Grade Biology.
of 82 votes, 76% like it
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Balance In Life Keeps You From Falling Over.
of 66 votes, 67% like it
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I Have My Pride. Although Lions Really Aren't Easy To Look After.
of 77 votes, 79% like it
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Deja Vu: When You Repeat An Experience In French.
of 70 votes, 67% like it
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Money Burns A Hole In My Pocket So I'm Wearing Asbestos Pants.
of 61 votes, 69% like it
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My Inner Child Is More Mature Than I Am.
of 69 votes, 71% like it
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Collective Responsibility:When The Blame Is Worth Sharing
of 56 votes, 75% like it
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Dogs Only See Things In Black & White. They're so Judgemental
of 71 votes, 66% like it
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I Created A New Bored Game But There Was Very Little Interest.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
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I Wanted To Use My Powers For Good But Evil Had Better Dental.
of 85 votes, 80% like it
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Quartz : Good In A Watch Even Better In Scrabble.
of 85 votes, 74% like it
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Medical Trials Got Me This Shirt, $1000 and An Interesting Rash.
of 69 votes, 70% like it
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This Is A White Shirt Washed With A Red Sock (pink shirt)
of 71 votes, 59% like it
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I Wrestled With My Conscience And Ended Up In A Headlock.
of 74 votes, 61% like it
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I Try To Stay Pragmatic For Practical Reasons.
of 64 votes, 66% like it
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I Used To Pump Iron But Could Never Get It To Inflate.
of 73 votes, 53% like it
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I'm Street Smart. Unfortunately My Street Is Sesame.
of 90 votes, 66% like it
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Black And White Bears Don't Panda To Anyone.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
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If You See Me Running Around Naked, Someone Gave Me Sugar Again.
of 77 votes, 64% like it
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Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. Burn The Witch.
of 89 votes, 74% like it
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Love Is A Drug That Can Be Easily Snuggled Through Customs
of 75 votes, 68% like it
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A Wolf In Sheeps Clothing Has Serious Identity Issues.
of 77 votes, 65% like it
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Blaming It On The Boogie Won't Help You In A Murder Trial.
of 70 votes, 51% like it
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It's A Jungle Out There. Especially If You Live In Borneo.
of 84 votes, 57% like it
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My Guardian Angel Has Way Too Many Sick Days
of 97 votes, 71% like it
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Living The Dream. Denying The Reality
of 101 votes, 67% like it
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Hobbies include being lightly frisked at airports.
of 126 votes, 52% like it
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