Hey kids, it's your old friend Brent, back again to warn you about the dangers of drinking TROPICANA ORANGE JUICE. This overpriced brand of orange juice isn't actually juice at all, it's Satan's lovechild(s).

While Tropicana orange juice is a major cause of hearing loss, it's also damn nasty. According to recent studies done at Cambridge University , 78.97% of consumers who drink Tropicana-branded orange juice develop sucicidal tendencies over the course of their citrus-fueled addiction.

Help me help you, and SAY NO TO TROPICANA!

Water is a very awesome thing to drink. It seems like people, for the most part, underestimate the power of a little bit of H2O.

PROMOTE HEALTHY DRINKING TODAY!

My colleagues and I have developed a very complex theorem which states that drinking 3 to 4 quarts of water a day can give you the power to throw cars at children.

We agree that this is kickass.