Don't look at me. I'm irrelevant.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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Made with real biology!
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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I turn friendly handshakes into devastating thumb wars.
of 27 votes, 52% like it
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Watch out! I'm standing right behind you!
of 24 votes, 33% like it
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Reading this text aloud negates any favors or money I may owe you
of 27 votes, 41% like it
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I most certainly am going out dressed like this.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
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Wake me up if I've fallen asleep on an escalator.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
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The airplane: Killing confused birds since 1903.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
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Centering and italicizing this text makes me seem poetic
of 22 votes, 36% like it
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Italics make what I have to say seem important
of 29 votes, 31% like it
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Experienced swashbuckler seeking work. Well-versed in swaggering
of 27 votes, 30% like it
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In the event of fire, this shirt is hilariously flammable.
of 45 votes, 47% like it
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I give sugar and caffeine to unattended children
of 42 votes, 38% like it
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Do not shake my hand unless prepared for an epic thumb war
of 93 votes, 39% like it
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Avenge my death if I don't see you again
of 173 votes, 42% like it
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Artificial intelligence beats real stupidty
of 180 votes, 39% like it
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What would life be like without hypothetical situations?
of 217 votes, 53% like it
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Stupid raisins, stay out of my cookies
of 270 votes, 74% like it
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