When in Rome, parli Italiano.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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My incedible superpower is Hyperbolism
of 31 votes, 23% like it
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It's no coincidence that FAIL is an anagram of LIFE.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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In Soviet Russia, wear a coat. It's cold.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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I don't have an extensive, capacious, comprehensive vocabulary.
of 52 votes, 25% like it
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SHHHH! I'm working undercover.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
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Midget vampires are a pain in the ass.
of 64 votes, 22% like it
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Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes.
of 64 votes, 28% like it
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Time is the best teacher,unfortunately it kills all its students.
of 67 votes, 36% like it
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The older you get, the better you become. Unless you're a banana.
of 66 votes, 18% like it
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Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today!
of 65 votes, 31% like it
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A day without sunshine is like, er, night.
of 66 votes, 24% like it
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I'm 50% Indecisive.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
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In case of pursuit from Nascar drivers, turn right.
of 57 votes, 21% like it
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If this were a cartoon, I'd drop an anvil on your head.
of 57 votes, 19% like it
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Special Limited Collectors Edition Human. No 1 of 6,749,530,388
of 56 votes, 18% like it
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Graffiti helps children learn new and exciting words.
of 55 votes, 29% like it
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Roses are red,violets r blue.Some poems rhyme,but this one doesnt
of 55 votes, 22% like it
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I like anything expensive.
of 55 votes, 20% like it
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I have a black belt in origami.
of 55 votes, 31% like it
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If this were a cartoon I'd throw an anvil at you.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
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It's been a long day, I haven't sat down since I got up.
of 55 votes, 16% like it
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I intend to live forever - so far, so good!
of 47 votes, 19% like it
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Censorship is funking sheet.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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I may be gullible, but at least I still have this magic T-shirt.
of 45 votes, 33% like it
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Steroids: The drug of champions!
of 51 votes, 25% like it
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Sitting on the fence is painful.
of 51 votes, 24% like it
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Before electricity, did people watch TV by candlelight?
of 50 votes, 32% like it
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Gay ghosts put the willies up each other.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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I <3 attack
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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People in glass houses shouldn't throw parties.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
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I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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Thumb wars: Resolving differences without loss of life.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
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Yo momma is so nice,please be sure to thank her for a lovely meal
of 49 votes, 14% like it
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My glass contains 50% liquid
of 48 votes, 23% like it
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I have come from the future. Tomorrow it will RAIN!
of 54 votes, 24% like it
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Naturists make an exception for Threadless.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
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You're just jealous because I'm cleverer than you is.
of 54 votes, 24% like it
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Humble, but still the best!
of 54 votes, 19% like it
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I'm contradictory! Hang on, no I'm not.
of 55 votes, 15% like it
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I can't believe you walked around me to read this (wraparound)
of 55 votes, 29% like it
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7/5ths of people do not understand fractions.
of 54 votes, 20% like it
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Surrealism is just an excuse for being rubbish.
of 55 votes, 20% like it
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I don't smoke, unless I'm on fire.
of 61 votes, 33% like it
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If you can read this it must be daytime.
of 61 votes, 18% like it
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Stop being immature, poo face!
of 61 votes, 18% like it
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Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
of 68 votes, 31% like it
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Violence solves nothing.... except arguments.
of 67 votes, 27% like it
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