My friends,

If you know me well than you know that I care about the Threadless community in a way so profoundly deep, that it cannot be adequately put into words. And so, as a bright New Year looms on the horizon, I, Lester Francis, would like to present a proposal that will reinforce the foundation of Threadless thus ensuring a stronger future.

I hereby propose that, effective immediately, Threadless eliminate all XL, 2XL and 3XL guy and girl sizes from her catalog and from all future printings. Why do you ask? Let me tell you. Threadless is the most popular online t-shirt company on the planet and it needs to stay that way. However, as more and more overweight people are seen lumbering about town wearing Threadless designs, the company that you and I love will most definitely lose it’s popularity.

It is my opinion that the best way for Threadless to stay on top, in addition to keeping a healthy supply of GLENNZ designs stocked, is to sell shirts EXCLUSIVELY to people with fit, attractive bodies.

There’s no doubt about it, anybody who wears an XL size or higher is undeniably FAT. Plain and simple. There’s no way to argue otherwise. And if you’re fat and wearing a Threadless design, then you’re making Threadless appear shamelessly weak and unattractive. Nobody relevant wants to wear the same apparel as some sad, pathetic, lethargic mass of failure dragging himself down the street sweating profusely whilst stuffing his fat, fat face with bon-bons.

If you can’t fit into a large without stretching or breaking the seams, then you should be denied the privilege of wearing and representing Threadless. Threadless tees should fit only the best among us. Again, they should never fit sad, portly individuals who sweat gravy and don’t take proper care of themselves. Fat people have never been and never will be stylish, so why should they wear stylish, trendy designs?

Now, eliminating the sizes fatties wear is just phase 1 of my proposal. In addition, I am also urging Threadless to eliminate all S and XS sizes from the guys catalog. Real men wear, at least, a tight fitting medium. Why is Threadless catering to dwarves? It honestly doesn’t make a lick of sense. I don’t care how great a t-shirt design is, if it fits comfortably on a small man, then it’s hurting the future of Threadless.

Now, most of you will probably come to the conclusion that eliminating all of the sizes that I have proposed will result in fewer sales for Threadless. This may be true in the short term. However, it is easy to see that within a few years time, as Threadless designs no longer appear in public printed on fat and elf sizes, sales of normal sizes will increase exponentially, quickly recouping any previous losses and ultimately create spectacular profits. My friends, it is simply a no-brainer.

Stand with me, and together; we’ll make Threadless even better!

- Lester Francis