Gather around, my friends, and hear the tale of GLENNZ:

He began as a mere wolf pup suckling on the fragile teat of a fledgling Threadless. Through many moons, he was nurtured into a scrappy adolescent, bent on gnawing his way to the top of the pack. He forged white-hot, molten talent into one unforgettable design after another. Each more witty and delightful than the last! Before long, GLENNZ had annihilated the competition, showering the hills with bones and entrails of amateur “designers.” High atop the jagged rocks of success, GLENNZ stood proudly as a lone timberwolf. His triumphant design howl echoed throughout the land, violently piercing the ears of any unfortunate creature who dared to question him. Threadless Mountain was his dominion.

Yes, the mighty GLENNZ had mastered the art of competitive t-shirt design. With print after print (including multiple reprints,) GLENNZ continued to grow stronger and stronger. He had the unbridled power of TEN Design Timberwolves… plus two! His talent quickly spiraled out of control, eventually becoming bigger than GLENNZ himself and it wasn’t long before hearty wings of breathtaking, ivory feathers began to sprout from his lush, bushy back. Like an elegant flower, GLENNZ had blossomed into an unstoppable, PEGASUS DESIGN TIMBERWOLF, and as Threadless Mountain could not be scaled any higher, it was time for GLENNZ to thrust his mighty wings and soar into the Heavens. Once there, he would create his own, lucrative, GLENNZ t-shirt website.

The people of Threadless Mountain were devastated in the wake of GLENNZ’s absence. What were once reliable voters died off by the hundreds, and designers who, at one time, feared the shadow of GLENNZ broke the Threadless Code of Honor and began subbing to other inferior websites. Threadless Mountain became a fragile shell of what it once was. Its only source of hope, inspiration and regeneration, was the occasional, post-departure, GLENNZ reprint.

Will GLENNZ someday return to Threadless Mountain and replenish its ailing life force? Only time will tell. In the meantime, I believe that we must crown a new DESIGN TIMBERWOLF. That is where you come in, my friends.

Will you accept the FRETSEL CHALLENGE?

This time around, a collective display of Alumni cowardice will lead to the ultimate crumbling of Threadless Mountain.

Will you stand up?

Details and sign up to follow later this week.

-Lester Francis