i stole a belt from K-mart like 8 years ago.



I wear it almost daily.

I also once worked on the sabbath.

while eating pork.

and a hamburger milkshake

ive never done anything wrong

Lots and lots and lots of Trespassing, some property damage, and possibly some minor arson incidents.

i was a catholic altar boy in my youth, and when i was about 11 our church was renovated so they had a grand re-opening party with a big marquee out the back one night with all the power coming from a single socket in the church bathroom. so me and 3 other altar boys noticed all the booze was stacked near the back wall of the marquee and hatched a plan to cut the power plunging the whole party into darkness for just a few seconds while we reached under the marquee wall from the outside and swiped a cask of wine cooler.

we hid it in a bush and sneaked back to drink it a little bit at a time after school for the next week.

I once found a library book 6 years later.





And the library was located in another country.

When is was 15ish

I accidently burnt down a barn's worth of hay bales.

I smoked pot a lot instead of going to school.

I went off for a week without going home.

I'm way better behaved now

I already love this blog

I stole a book from my English teacher senior year.



I've jumped some fences.

I was a depressingly well-behaved child.

shortly after the great wine heist a friend and i discovered that the local newsagency stored it's unsold Playboys in a small shed out the back, so one night we crept down at about 4am and stole a bunch, but when we got them home we decided we could have done a better job of it so we went sneaking back again to get more and got caught by the shop owner who recognised us and threatened to call the police and our parents. we both lived in fear for months afterwards but never heard anything more about it.

Yeah, I definitely used jumped fences and trespassed.

And I still jaywalk quite often.



I've also picked the flowers off of the cherry blossom trees that line the Tidal Basin; that's apparently a federal offense. Oops.

I don't want to start this again.

i wasthinking about this the otehr day

friends and i used to pee and poo in peoples cars



not cool



i would kick my ass if i caught myself doing that now

Leon has the best ones! Sheesh.



Hmm... trespassing for sure, but I didn't really do anything that terrible.



I used to skip Spanish once a week (I took it at a different school) and just say I missed the bus since I hated the class.



Also, senior year, I had like four hours of free time some days, so I would just sneak out and go home and take a nap.



So yeah, I got nothin'.

I would pick cherry blossoms for you, khol

OH



however, as a small child, I was a terror. My parents weren't really sure what to do and at one point they tried spanking, but I just decided to laugh through it in the hopes that they would be freaked out and stop.



It worked.

I used to pee in places people shouldn't pee, alot.

I used to leave class early all the time to go fly kites or other stupid stuff.

oh, and one time I flooded the garage.



I'm not sure what the logic was there. My friend and I were like nine or ten and I was like "let's fill the garage with water!"



So I turned on the hose and got the floor soaking wet... I guess I was hoping it would fill up? I imagined a swimming pool, maybe. My dad came home and was just like ".... what? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" There wasn't really any damage, just like... confusion from all sides.

Aww, we can both go to a federal prison together, Steve.

Matching outfits!

And one time I ran away in the middle of the night at a maze-like campground in the woods in Michigan.



Man do I hope my kids aren't like me!

HAHA Margo, I love your misdemeanours. They're so quaint.

margo i hope my kids do what you did as their "Bad things"



please god please

now that I'm thinking of it seriously I realize I've done soo much crap! When I was very little I had this phase where I'd run away on a weekly basis. Once I sneaked off while I was shopping with my mom, she found me at the parking spaces directing the cars by hand signs, I was about 4 years old I guess.

When I was in 8th grade I was accidentally put in a marketing class. I was livid because I had no way out of it. All the classes were full, things were set in stone, no budging. I HATED the class with a passion that burnt like a trillion tea candles. The teacher mainly discussed her experience working for Kraft and how taking photos of cheese took hours because the Kraft singles would melt because of all the spotlights. I shot myself in the head an average of 10 times per sermon.



Long story short.

After the first grading period. I took my report card and set it on fire inside the classroom.

haha tinymargo, I love it.

In my senior year, I used to skip my TA and Econ classes constantly to go hang out with my boyfriend (he was older and had already graduated - ooh lala).



Also, one time my friend and I went up to Tahoe and drank as much booze from the liquor cabinet as we could before passing out. We were 17, and we watched Mulan as we drank.



Other than that, I never really did anything wrong.

haha, yeah, I didn't do anything terrible. Which is really too bad; I wish I had better stories.

Once I put a bunch of snails in the mailbox of a girl I couldn't stand. Next day her mother came to me and made me shit my pants.

Oh and in second grade I went through a weird phase where I slapped other kids across the face for stupid reasons like cutting in line or not sharing crayons.

I wasn't really bad, I was kind of stupid though, I'd do stupid stuff. Like sometimes I would just pour whole bottles of my oldest sister's shampoo down the drain cuz she was extra mean to me. Or like, it'd be really cold and I'd have to walk a really long time to get home from school, so I'd just pee on the side of my house instead of going inside. Usually one of my sisters would also be on her way home too so all of the kids on the bus who lived on our street would see my bare ass peeing on the house.

one time there was this space between my desk and the kid who sat next to me (because the teachers would push all of our desks together for some reason in elementary school) and the kid next to me put his finger in the middle and said he could pull it out before I could slide my desk over to close the gap, so we tried it, and I totally fucked up his finger. What!? He said he could do it!

OH



I used to pull all of the legs off of daddy long legs and watch the legs twitch and then stick the round little bodies in people's mailboxes when I was like... four.



That's the last one, I promise.

lolpear

between the spider torture and giggling while being spanked margo sounds like pure evil. your parents must have been totally disturbed.

One time Jebbie broke into my house and punched my grandma in the neck.

lol @ the desk story!

I had so many desk fights during school!

one time there was this girl in my 1st grade class that was getting like bugged by the big boys (I'd call older kids big boys) so I got really mad one day and I screamed at them. and they got super pissed so they all chased after me and made me cry. But I was like "I gotta be like super mario and fight the bad guys" but I just ended up getting beat up, and she was like "whatever, weirdo" afterwards. Pretty lame.

One time I was visiting the Capital building and while I was standing in the rotunda I noticed that for some reason it was really empty so quickly I got down and put my initials at the bottom of the baseboard that's below the painting of Pocahontas getting baptized (towards the left side of the couch that's against that wall, next to the bust of MLK).

It's really tiny, I doubt anyone noticed them, and I'm pretty sure it's been painted over now. At least I hope so, I feel kinda guilty about it. But it was just the baseboard!



I'm sure that's a federal offense too :-/

I probably shouldn't be talking about this on the internet...

I used to pull all of the legs off of daddy long legs and watch the legs twitch and then stick the round little bodies in people's mailboxes when I was like... four.



I did that too!

I also used to salt snails.

I was so mean :(

Only, I didn't put them in mailboxes, I put them in my sister's shoes.

some years back I scribbled something on the wall of a really fancy building, next time I passed it it was broke down! I felt guilty.

I am still in my youth.

lol @ salting snails



yeah, leon, I was just a little... creepy. I would've been creeped out.



I so wish I had stories about sneaking playboys and stealing booze from the church.

Malcs, we still have more time to sin!

I ogt beat up alot as a kid for being weird. one of hte weirdest stories as a kid of me getting hit is like, we had htese long tables where we sat at lunch and I sat at the very end of one table beacuse we were seated alphabetically, and there was like a gap between my table and another table that was across the gap, anyway there was a kid who sat down at the end of the table across from mine, and he went to put his tray down, but I guess he forgot something. So he went back to get whatever he forgot, and as he came back we made eye contact and I gave him a big smile because I wanted him to be my bro. But then he got super pissed, and he came over and kicked me super hard int he side of my leg. I didn't realize that his tray had fell, and I guess he thougth I did it.

The book of Malcon's wicked youth is not yet closed, Margus.