I am so sick of this industry. I always knew it would be hard to survive in here, not just because of the nature of the work, but because of the nature of the industry and the way it functions. You have to put in lots of time, effort and have good people skills, lacking of which would put you in the danger zone, double time.

Office politics. Having misunderstandings with the wrong people can be deadly. Having people talking behind your back and giving you the cautious look can be a stumbling block in getting things done. Not knowing who you can trust can make you feel so alone. Feeling like you'll never be understood nor heard can be extremely frustrating.

It's becoming increasingly unpleasant. I used to like it here at first, but a change of teams and some office reshuffling has left me wondering how I can surive in this office without feeling like an outsider. Who I can trust, whose advice is worth heeding. I'm really starting to hate it here, where people are quick to judge, criticise and yet never in the mood to hear explanations.

This industry is so fake. Remember the movie 'The Devil Wears Prada'? The person I'm under is like that, but a male version. Except that, in real life, no one is able to excel THAT well like Anne Hathaway's character in the movie did. You either have really good contacts, or very lucky. In her case, she had both. Oh, and a well-scripted scenario, too.

I don't know if I should cut my losses or push on and persevere in achieving my goals. I don't want to back out prematurely, but neither do I want to bang my head against the wall. I don't want to lose my life, my friends and basically other things that keep me balanced.

I really don't want to lose sight of me, the uncorrupted one as it still is, but I also don't want to lose sight of what I want.


So I guess the question is, what do I want MORE?