this always happens when women split bills. i very rarely see men do it. i know that's a sweeping generalisation, but, y'know

it annoys the hell out of me too
always happens with work lunches for some reason - i hate spending a fortune on lunch - seems unnecessary - so when i do go out with people i tend to get something pretty basic, not too fancy or expensive.
they almost always split the bill evenly though - I've had a £5 meal and a glass of water cost me £13 before!
the cake was taken at another girls leaving do - set menu for £9. I had a coke while the girl next to me and her buddies knocked back £7 cocktails. in the end my £9 set meal and a coke cost me £28!
i was raging!

unfortunately, not a lot you can do about it. you put up a fuss and you come across as tight and rude, you do nothing and you end up out of pocket.
these days to try get around it, especially if there aren't too many of us i tend to get my money out and down befor the bill has even arrived so they can see what i'm contributing and work the rest out for themselves.
i probably still come across as tight though

The worst is when you're having dinner with about 20 other people and wine is getting ordered left right and centre, along with cocktails. You split the bill, and you realise, because you're driving you've just spent £60 on a plate of chicken and noodles.

it's an unfortunate social situation that only george costanza and larry david and I can call attention to

I always just split the bill. But I make sure I order the most expensive things first.

Seriously, I think it depends on your financial situation. If you are broke, fine. If you can afford it, it's simpler/nicer to split it.

I think it's a terrible way of trying to split the bill. It probably should've been discussed beforehand, however, because it was right rude of them to get evil on you. They got a cheap meal because you forked over more than you ordered. That's crass of them to assume you should cover what they ordered.

I totally think your annoyance is justified. Now that it's over, at least you know for next time!

I'll split the bill evenly if out with friends and the difference would otherwise be 3 quid max. In your situation I see nothing unreasonable about wanting to pay separately. I used to go out with friends a fair bit who all earned fuckloads more than me and cared less about cash and I'd usually feel bad about wanting to pay separately but always stuck to my guns.

I guess next time you could bring it up before everybody orders?

separate checks?

This almost happened to us one evening. We went to a fish place, but two of the girls had veggie meals which were less than £10. A few of us have fish dishes that were around £15 and two girls had lobster at £25 each. When the bill came it was suggested that we just split it equally. We said no way.

I agree with Bram. If you've all had roughly the same it's ok to split, but if someone's had something way more expensive it's only fair that they pay more. It's always nice if the person who's had the more expensive dish at least offers to pay the extra.

Having said that, if I was out with just one girlfriend, or with my best friends I'd always just pay half. If it's people I like less I'd be much less happy about it.

the evil stares came from those that had ordered expensive stuff and that i did not really know.. the two girls i know well ordered cheaper stuff (we were around 23 francs, the others around 40 francs.. a franc is about a dollar right now).. but they did not support me when i suggested to pay what we really had..

anyway, next time i go with people i don't know i just order expensive stuff..

when i go eating with friends, we normally know more or less what we had and everybody just pays that and gives something for the tipp in the end.. it always worked so far..

I think there is an episode of friends that covers this.

Nice of your friends to just sit there and be walked all over as well. :( I guess I'm just too loud and insistent. Probably why I don't go out in large groups much. Accounting for the amounts you just mentioned, not counting tax or tip if you have those, dividing up the bill would have cost you each 32 francs. That's freaking a third more than you ordered. Totally insane, seeing as though they got a quarter off their meal.

Maybe I'm just a total cheap-ass, but I don't have random money to just blow on nothing! Next time, when the waitress/waiter is there, specifically ask that your check is separate. Totally RUDE of those evil girls. EVIL.

mullmuggins, there is; I think it's called "the one with five steaks and an eggplant" or something.

Rachel orders a salad while everyone else orders massive, expensive meals, and then the bill comes and everyone wants to split it, but Rachel can't afford it and stands her ground.

I swear it's like one of only 10 episodes I've ever seen of Friends.

I split the bill if you go somewhere and things are similarly priced like a pizzeria or something where everyone orders one pizza and there's a jug of coke or something, or at one of those restaurants where they want you to share all the meals. But if you're at a proper restaurant and someone's ordering a lobster while someone else is just having a salad or there''s two girls up the end sharing a bottle of champagne or half the table want an entree or dessert it's just crass to expect others to cover that for you, especially if you don't know them.

With friends, you may go out again, do something else, things get reciprocated. I believe there's kind of an equilibrium in successful friendships where people put in and get out equal amounts. It might not always have a financial value on it, maybe I put in a few extra dollars at dinner and that's reciprocated because I get a lift home. I don't think anyone keeps score, but the universe keeps score I guess. It's a karma kind of thing. You learn when people you think are friends are taking more than they're giving pretty quickly. But with people I don't know well I'm hardly going to pay for their dinner.

we had some starters that we shared and a bottle of wine (i only had a sip to cheer because i had taken antihistamine) so it was 55 per person and it would have been about 45 (including the wine)..

Totally everything squatterjohn said.

this is why you always go to the bathroom when the check arrives

Separate checks is generally the way to go for me. I remember once I went out with a group and just got fruit salad (wasn't feeling well) while everyone else got like, the fish or crab or something and one woman had the audacity to order an extra meal to go and then just wanted to 'split the meal' and when I said no way, because was she going to pay full for the meal she ordered to go as well she got really mad. I stood my ground though and she started yelling, oh my. Finally a guy in the group said he'd pay for her meal.

Some people try to take full advantage of the 'let's just split the tab' thing, which is why I say separate checks with any mixed company. Close friends, in my circle we kind of just always took turns picking up the check anyway.

oh, and yes, you always have the right to stand your ground, doesn't mean you're fussy, just don't want to pay for someone elses lobster and wine. (another reason I don't split - I don't drink so my meal is generally a lot less than anyone elses for that reason alone.)

I'd be asking for a separate check.

people do that?

that's weird.

my people always pay what they owe when it comes to friend bills

Most places here won't give separate bills, so you have to work it out amongst yourselves.

yeah, some people do that. usually when they ain't got the class to match the appetite. good for you for standing your ground, Corinne.

You're not fussy at all...Squatter John and Victorya nailed it.

put yo money where yo mouth is and such

not fussy.

squatterjohn on Nov 05 '09 at 9:52am
Most places here won't give separate bills, so you have to work it out amongst yourselves.


Wow, really??? I've never been somewhere that wouldn't split unless it was over like 8 or 10 people.

You're not being fussy at all, that was just rude of your dinner companions. But I find the people who insist on splitting the bill are often the ones who've ordered the most expensive items, it's shameful. Most of the people I know always put in extra if they've had a meal that cost significantly more than everyone else's or if they've had drinks. You have every right to refuse to pay for someone else's excesses, particularly if you don't know them.

When I go to a bachelor party or a celebratory party for someone, I always suggest that we split the bill for just the person that we're celebrating, so everyone pays for their own meal, and then a few extra dollars to cover the one person's meal. I wouldn't split up the entire bill.