That's some tough stuff you have going there. I'd say give your mom her space, but if you have reason to suspect that she might harm herself in anyway -- you should be there for her.

hmmm. maybe u should call your mom anyway, see if she's okay...just leave messages so she knows you're around for her. sorry about your bro....that has to be hard to handle. a friend of mine is schizophrenic and she refuses to get service or take her meds so she interacts w/society and gets into trouble often, here and there. luckily she's not harmful, but i kinda wish she would go to a place so she'd be safe like the mental hospital your brother is going to...stay strong, if anything for your mom!! all will work out in the end, since he is able to get some kind of help...

oh that is difficult. i am so sorry for you.

i think you just need to let your mum know you are here for her. She probably feels twice as alone because relying on your children is something i think she does not want to do. It feels like she wants to be big and strong for you and it's starting to be difficult for her to manage.

*HUUUGS*

I'm not sure if you're religious or spiritual, but saying a prayer or sending some good vibes her way (and some to yourself and your brother) will help.

Try to relax and look after yourself. Your mum doesn't want two kids in trouble.

I hope things get easier for you all. I can't say i fully understand what's happening to you.... I've had some experience with mental illness (friends/ clients) and it think the best thing to keep in mind is to keep positive and try to remember to look after yourself, so when you reach out to others, you are doing so from a place of strength and calmness.

Sorry to hear that Trindli. I suspect your mum doesn't want to burden you with anything, but you have to reassure her that you're all family and that whether it's right or not, you're all in it together and that's how you get through situations like this.

Sorry to hear that. I've had some very similar family issues recently. The only thing I can suggest is that you phone your mum and tell her you love her.

Garo is spot on.

My best friends family are going through a similar thing and I know her dad talks to my dad a lot because he doesn't want to upset his daughters. Maybe just tell your mum that you understand if she doesn't want to talk about it with you, but that she should find someone that she can talk about it with.

I am sorry that you are having such a bad time. I have seen from the outside how hard and upsetting it is.

She needs your love and support but most likely doesn't want you to feel the same way she feel, so she tries to deal with it on her own.
Let her know how much you love her.

I'm sorry to hear this is happening. :( Sending prayers out for you all!

*hugs*

What a terrible thing to deal with, I really feel for you. You're obviously a caring person, and I think you should follow your instincts and check in on your mum. Give her a call, pop over to her place with a casserole or something. Just let her know that her well-being is important to you, and even if you can't 'fix' anything, you will help her any way you can.

that's an awful situation. mental illness is a cruel thing. i hope he gets the right kind of help and you can get your lives back to a more normal state soon.

i called her several times since last friday and she never picked up..

and my dad just called me that apparently my brother was released from the mental hospital but they could not tell him where he was going..

wow, this is some heavy stuff. I'm sorry you have to go through this stressful time, and I hope your mom is OK

oh nein, das tut mir leid! wohnst du weit weg von deiner mutter? vielleicht ist es das beste wenn du sie einfach besuchen gehst? und weiß keiner wo dein bruder gerade ist oder wollte es niemand sagen? ich kann einigermaßen nachvollziehen wie schwer das grad für dich sein muss, hab mal mit einem freund zusammen gelebt der schizophren ist.
wenn du deine mutter telefonisch nicht erreichen kannst, solltest du vielleicht euren hausarzt oder einen therapeuten anrufen und bescheid sagen. ich hoffe alles wird gut!

Hang in there, Corinne. Does your mum live close by? Could you visit her, or maybe send her a text? It's always easiest to think the worst, but sometimes that's not the case. It's important not to take all the responsibility on to yourself, make sure you have people around you that you can talk to, as well.

yes, she lives really close by.. i was thinking about passing by, but i thought it would disturb her when she didn't even pick up the phone..

i don't know if they knew where my brother is and just didn't want to tell, or if he just said that he will go and live with a friend.. they are really stupid, it happened before that he said he goes and lives with a friend and then went to a squat because he couldn't live with my parents and then a few weeks later was back at the hospital.. they should have records of that, no?

tut mir wirklich sehr leid für dich :( ich denke die andern haben alle schon sehr sinnvolle tipps gegeben. Ich denk auch, du dich nicht zu weit distanzieren. oft sagen leute, sie möchten ihre ruhe haben, meinen aber genau das gegenteil (is das gleiche wie "fishing for compliments"). ich wünsch dir alles, alles gut und hoffe, dass die situation sich irgendwie bessert!

Thanks for all the words so far, it helps really

I went walking with my mother yesterday and she is more or less ok.. my brother lives at the same squat that he lived the last time when my parents put him on the street.. as hard as it may sound, but that is the only advice you sometimes get from a psychiatric if the person doesn't want help and you can't have him around you anymore, put him on the street and see what he will do.. As my mother refuses to talk to him, it seems that I am the responsible person now.. I let him in on Saturday so he could get some stuff from his room and he kept saying that he wants his key back and stuff.. and now he just called again saying that he needs to have access to his room again and that he pays rent there and that he will call the police and a lawyer to get all the stuff from his room and that my mother will not be able to afford the place once he moved out..

sorry that is probably gibberish but it helps just to write it down so i can cool down a little..

luckily i am alone in my office right now, because there are tears behind my eyes..

Hey, Corinne. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. If you can, keep in contact with him. It's important for him to know that people care about him, even if he doesn't show it. Sometimes people's minds aren't well enough to make them want to get better. Sometimes they don't have a choice in the matter.

As I said before, make sure you have people to talk to, who can help look after you if/when you're down. It isn't your duty to make everything better. All you can do it be there if he needs any help.

Take care.

I'm really sorry to hear this. Mental illness is horrible.
I agree with Tonteaus advice here, mkae sure you have people to talk to, this is very important.

thanks :)

yes, i have people around me that help, but often there is no more to say than "wow that's horrible".. i guess that's why i like to write it down here, it helps to write it and not much comment is needed sometimes

does that even make sense?

you are a strong person, you'll be fine
I think you should continue talking to him but don't try to talk logically with him about him moving out, etc. Just try to be level minded and supportive of your mom and bro :)

and continue to be a great person!