4 out of 5 doctors agree: They're eighty percent of the doctors.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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A tree fell on my car in self-defense.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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According to global warming, I'm hot.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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According to the theory of gravity, you're attracted to me.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
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Black Bars: Protecting Innocence at the Cost of Beauty
of 37 votes, 16% like it
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Bribe me once, shame on you. Bribe me twice.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Bring An End To Petitioning!
of 48 votes, 6% like it
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College Shuffleboard: We Beat Your Grandma
of 51 votes, 22% like it
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College Shuffleboard: Your Grandma Couldn't Even Make the Team
of 46 votes, 15% like it
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Counterfeit is my cheatcode for infinite money.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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Do you like my face? I've found I've grown quite attached to it.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Do your part to cut down CO2 emissions, exhale less.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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Dollars just make cents.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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Don't discriminate, everyone is stupid.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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Dumb people won't get it when they're done reading.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
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Even world leaders fart from time to time.
of 52 votes, 21% like it
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Exclamation Marks Rule, Period.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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Fertilizer will always be number 2.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
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Finding the Missing Color: A Film Noir
of 53 votes, 13% like it
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Follow your heart, I wouldn't trust your brain.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
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Frisk everyone, they might be dangerous.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
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God should bring back smiting
of 49 votes, 20% like it
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Gravity is the only thing keeping me here.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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Hate Fragments? Good.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
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How will I ever find out what dictionary means?
of 61 votes, 26% like it
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I accept USD, Euro, Pounds, CD, Sand dollars, Yen, and Pesos
of 53 votes, 23% like it
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I avoid cracks because I love my mother.
of 68 votes, 28% like it
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I bet if we all came to work naked no one would do anything.
of 52 votes, 21% like it
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I bet the government's forming a conspiracy right now.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
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I can never say no to a good temptation
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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I carry cicuit cutters in case of robot uprising.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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I couldn't afford ny m r v w ls.
of 49 votes, 20% like it
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I didn't know I was oblivious
of 59 votes, 25% like it
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I grow hair.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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I have a chemical addiction, can't get enough H2O .
of 51 votes, 20% like it
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I have a hair garden on my head.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
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I have Multiple Personality Syndrome. Me too. And me. And me.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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I haven't slept for a week because that would be too long.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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I just realized, I have intuition.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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I live for O2
of 61 votes, 28% like it
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I never resist a good temptation.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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I speaketh in olde english whilst thou do not listen
of 48 votes, 19% like it
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I was at court for disobeying gravity
of 2 votes, 50% like it
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I'd eat that if it wasn't green.
of 67 votes, 28% like it
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I'd invent thinking robots but I watch movies.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
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I'd make a better friend than this guy...
of 41 votes, 17% like it
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I'd say I don't care but it's true.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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I'm a hypochondriac but I'm taking something to help it.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
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I'm Jewish because Jesus was.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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I'm looking at you while you read this.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
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I'm narcissistic because I like it.
of 53 votes, 19% like it
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I'm too awesome to have self-confidence.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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If a tree falls on your car, it was only self-defense.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
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If shirt is found without owner please return to nearest streaker
of 25 votes, 24% like it
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If this were a movie, I'd be the token genius
of 53 votes, 13% like it
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If we all picked our noses together no one would care.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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If you can use ventriloquism, then make me say so.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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Im happy because Ive strangled, stabbed, and beat up all my anger
of 42 votes, 17% like it
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Im mel JRR Tolkien (I love JRR Tolkien)
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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Insert witty slogan about inserting an intelligent slogan here
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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Kittens in crutches are no laughing matter.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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Last time I stopped to think
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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Let's talk politics... haha, right.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
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Life is an uncreative improv movie.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
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Life stopped being fun ever since TV told me everything kills me.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
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Lincoln needs to see another play like he neds a hole in his head
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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Look at my face. Amazing, right?
of 65 votes, 26% like it
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Look both ways before crossing the road if you're a coward.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Movie Previews Tease Me.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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My doctor said I should stay away from apples...
of 62 votes, 29% like it
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My favorite band could beat up yours.
of 48 votes, 23% like it
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My inner child is kicking!
of 50 votes, 20% like it
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My nest egg just hatched.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
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Nice to meet you, I'm Thirsty
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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No More Petitioning!
of 35 votes, 9% like it
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Not Made for Consumption
of 45 votes, 13% like it
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Now I'm more than just another face in the crowd.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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Now you will have to think about blinking.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Number 2 pencils aren't worthy of me.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
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Occupancy by More Than 1 Persons is Dangerous & Unlawful.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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Oh, my God... Did you challenge my atheism?
of 48 votes, 21% like it
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On a scale from one to ten I don't care.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
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Patience is noun.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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People listen to me when I say breathe
of 42 votes, 7% like it
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Periods always get the last word, but not today!
of 44 votes, 18% like it
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Pig Catapults make dreams come true.
of 43 votes, 21% like it
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Plants are too cute to eat.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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Press belly button to hear text read aloud.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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Pyromaniacs are as fun to play with as fire.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
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Pyromaniacs aren't as awesome as fire.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
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Santa made obese cool.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
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Scientists have recently discovered cheat codes.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
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Simon says mean things about you.
of 60 votes, 32% like it
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Small Tentacles are an Octopus's Shame
of 42 votes, 17% like it
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Stupid people don't get the joke
of 44 votes, 16% like it
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Sula Nebouxii is just a funny way to say Booby.
of 52 votes, 19% like it
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Summer is Cool When You're Chillin' with Penguins
of 42 votes, 14% like it
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Technicolor and Vinyl Records, could life get any better?
of 41 votes, 17% like it
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That's right, the band's getting back together.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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The Bible has cool battle scenes.
of 47 votes, 21% like it
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The Budy System Has An Odd Flaw.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
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The Meek have a while to wait untill I'm bored of the Earth
of 51 votes, 18% like it
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The morbid truth is 99% of everyone on earth will die one day.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
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The sun is (in UV ink) /definitely not/ () lame.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
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The sun is (UV ink) /definitely not/ (not UV) the worst star.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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The sun is the worst star ever. (UV ink between 'is/the':) NOT
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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The tests have come back, it turn out I realy do have hypocondria
of 31 votes, 6% like it
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The voices in my head keep telling me you're crazy.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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There's no such thing as denial.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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They're Indie because they couldn't get a record deal.
of 43 votes, 21% like it
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This is an exact replica of my old shirt.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
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This is niether the time nor the place to relieve yourself.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
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This may just be modesty, but I'm awesome.
of 53 votes, 21% like it
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This shirt is jealous of my friends, idiot
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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This shirt is jealous of my friends, idiot.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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This text was created with MIND POWER.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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Tornado tears through cemetery; leaves hundreds dead.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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Triple negatives: Not even less not very unconfusing.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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Two silkworms had a race.The result was a tie.(in shape of a tie)
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Underachiever All Of My Lif.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
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University Football: We've Got Balls
of 50 votes, 20% like it
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Varsity F.P.S.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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Vegetarians Ate Mother Nature
of 39 votes, 23% like it
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Video Games: Where Intelligence Goes To Die
of 60 votes, 30% like it
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walking got me this far
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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Was this a satisfying 2 seconds?
of 47 votes, 21% like it
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We're judging you.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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What the hell happened here?
of 51 votes, 22% like it
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Whatever your answer is, I'm just going to argue with you.
of 52 votes, 21% like it
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Winged Sword - Magic +2 - Strength +5 - Attack +5 - Friends -3
of 44 votes, 18% like it
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YA?! Well, your mom remained abstinent until marriage!
of 45 votes, 7% like it
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You created this text with your mind. You seem unimaginative.
of 36 votes, 11% like it
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You is a pronoun.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
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You're God's subtle way of saying, Yes, I have a sense of humor
of 49 votes, 20% like it
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