"The pod people came and got you," she said.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
|
98th percentile (now you just have to figure out in what)
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
Ah summer: mosquitos, lawn mowers, and young kids underfoot.
of 42 votes, 12% like it
|
|
attempting to ascend to a higher plane of existance called sleep
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
be very very quiet... we're hunting ninjas
of 52 votes, 15% like it
|
Before you ask for my opinion you should know I'm a bitch
of 56 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Chocolate cake tastes even better when you're on a diet
of 39 votes, 10% like it
|
cliches were better in high school
of 55 votes, 18% like it
|
Don't make me kill you; I'll regret it later but you'll be dead.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
|
|
everything you think is significant is actually a coincidence
of 56 votes, 20% like it
|
fuzzy blue monsters - now in convenient pocket size
of 39 votes, 13% like it
|
gas powered lawn mowers: assaulting ears every summer since 1933
of 57 votes, 19% like it
|
|
gas powered lawnmowers: assaulting ears every summer since 1920
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
Hell-bad intentions get there faster however the road is paved
of 30 votes, 13% like it
|
hippitous hoppitous
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I dream about a big blue monster that would tuck me in at night.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
|
I have just had what alcoholics call a moment of clarity
of 51 votes, 16% like it
|
I hope that the meaning of life does not fit on a t-shirt
of 55 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I know your middle name and I'm not afraid to use it.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
|
I was having a good night, then my mom called...
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
I'd like to thank my co-star's wife & Ms. K my 3rd grade teac
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I'm a poet. The pay's not much, but the hours are good.
of 55 votes, 16% like it
|
I'm quite fond of you, so when I kill you it will be quick.
of 49 votes, 10% like it
|
I've got a new guardian angel; the last one retired on combat pay
of 46 votes, 11% like it
|
|
If I only want to build a little monster am I only a little evil?
of 47 votes, 15% like it
|
If music be the food of love--for god's sake get a room already!
of 34 votes, 9% like it
|
if you are reading this message it means I'm out of clean clothes
of 46 votes, 15% like it
|
|
If you keep on the sunny side, you'd better wear sunscreen.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
|
In a perfect world we'd all travel by magic carpet.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
|
In an alternate universe I'm a thin gorgeous assasin.
of 47 votes, 19% like it
|
|
In an alternate universe I'm a very thin gorgeous assasin.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
it'd be cool if it was as simple as blowing away the bad guys
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
little black t
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
|
live, laugh, love......linger, lament, lie
of 51 votes, 8% like it
|
Lucky Test Taking Shirt (Do not wash!)
of 56 votes, 14% like it
|
Manichean Paranoia! It all makes sense now
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Marshmallows: Not just for Breakfast
of 54 votes, 17% like it
|
Marshmallows: Not just for Breakfast Anymore
of 39 votes, 15% like it
|
My evil twin is an assasin: sexy, but deadly.
of 38 votes, 8% like it
|
|
my inner child is bummed because there's no monster under my bed
of 45 votes, 18% like it
|
my inner child wants a bigger teddy bear
of 57 votes, 19% like it
|
my inner child wants a monster of her very own
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
|
My inner child wants a teddy bear bigger than she is.
of 49 votes, 22% like it
|
my nature spirit is bigger and fuzzier than your nature spirit
of 47 votes, 11% like it
|
my other body has fangs and a tail
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Neatness always counts
of 39 votes, 10% like it
|
Physicists Ltd: We'll find the black hole that steals your socks.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
|
Practice makes perfect, and drives everyone around you nuts.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Pysicists Ltd: Finding the black hole that's stealing your socks.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
|
Republicans: People born on third who think they hit a tripple
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
Rubber Duckie you're the one... You make bathtime so much fun
of 46 votes, 15% like it
|
|
sometimes I like to imagine platypuses happy swimming in a pond
of 52 votes, 13% like it
|
Still waters run deep and stagnant
of 34 votes, 9% like it
|
the black hole that eats my socks hasn't yet gotten this tee
of 43 votes, 16% like it
|
|
the monster in my closet is bigger than yours & he's fuzzier
of 47 votes, 17% like it
|
the voices in my head follow me everywhere
of 52 votes, 17% like it
|
the worst day of my life was a day at the beach
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
|
They say virtue is it's own reward; they should've offered cash.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
|
This is not a TV show, and you are never going to save the world.
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
This is the shirt I put on when I know its going to be a bad day
of 56 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Virtue is it own reward, that's why it's gone out of fashion.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
WARNING WRITER PRESENT: you are being fictionalized as we speak
of 51 votes, 16% like it
|
WARNING: anything you say can used against you in my memoirs
of 50 votes, 12% like it
|
|
Warrior Princess Wannabe
of 34 votes, 9% like it
|
Whatever you do, don't make the drummer mad.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
|
When they make the movie I want to be played by Audrey Hepburn
of 48 votes, 10% like it
|
|
When was the last time you slept?
of 48 votes, 15% like it
|
Will global warming let me grow palm trees in Montana?
of 51 votes, 16% like it
|
Would you like me better if I was blue and fuzzy?
of 54 votes, 17% like it
|
|
You actually think I know something about the meaning of life?
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
You are not the star of the sit-com of your life
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
You wouldn't believe me even if I told you
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
