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foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias aka has been a member since January 8, 2007, has scored 8 submissions, giving an average score of 5.00.
  Mar 18 '07 by foolioiglesias        59 Comments        Watch this      Share:  Share on facebook    Share on delicious    Share on digg    Share on MySpace    Tweet this    Stumble this    Share this on Kaboodle   
Best work excuse

Uh oh. I played hooky from work on Thursday and Friday and I didn't even have the decency to call in or anything. I have to come up with the greatest excuse ever or else I'm fired.

Help pleeease!
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ir0cko
   ir0cko on Mar 18 '07 at 5:04am
you had explosive diarrhea
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 5:05am
family death
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:08am
no, i used the explosive diarrhea one last time, and even that time i called it in

this time im so screwed because im really sick and i woke up after my scheduled time and just said to hell with calling in, now im scared like a wimp

which family member should i pick? elaborate with me here!
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:08am
no, i used the explosive diarrhea one last time, and even that time i called it in

this time im so screwed because im really sick and i woke up after my scheduled time and just said to hell with calling in, now im scared like a wimp

which family member should i pick? elaborate with me here!
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:09am
oops!
ir0cko
   ir0cko on Mar 18 '07 at 5:09am
the dog
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:10am
omg get out of here ir0cko! what are you doing awake anyways?
ir0cko
   ir0cko on Mar 18 '07 at 5:11am
i'm leaving my heart in san francisco because i'm heading to NY in 5 hours
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 5:12am
haha umm...a grandparent who doesn't live near you. and at least with that excuse you get a couple bereavement days also.
ecky_ducky
ecky_ducky on Mar 18 '07 at 5:12am
Aunt. Aunts are distant enough for few questions, but close enough to be upsetting.
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:13am
oh snaps! already? hope you packed everything up! my friend totally ganked a psp from some chicks car tonight, she left her car door wide open and everything, i dont know what that has to do with this but i just thought id share that with you
ir0cko
   ir0cko on Mar 18 '07 at 5:14am
yes, sir. i'm nervous. i've got to wake everyone up in 15 minutes so they can have a super duper early breakfast, then we'll leave for SF in an hour
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:14am
oh man, this sounds like totally bad karma but i might have to do the family death thing, but what if they ask me why i didnt call?

can i blame that on medicinal marijuana?
ir0cko
   ir0cko on Mar 18 '07 at 5:15am
you were too busy spending time with family, mourning?
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 5:16am
just say it was a sudden death and nothing comes before family :P
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:17am
ooh, how long are you in SF for? maybe you can stop by your favorite store, forever 21!

how about if i tell them that my aunt was involved in a tragic car accident but she didnt pass away until 2 days later in the hospital? and i spent day and night at the hospital with her?
ir0cko
   ir0cko on Mar 18 '07 at 5:19am
well, i'll probably arrive around 5:30 and check in and stuff. if my flight isn't delayed, i'll be leaving the city at 8 am
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 5:21am
that could work...except some hospitals don't let you stay all the time. so you would have had time to call...
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:22am
coolios, have fun on your trip! ive been so busy this whole week, ive barely had time to comb my chest hair

jillosaurus, you are definitely right, family matters!
ir0cko
   ir0cko on Mar 18 '07 at 5:24am
thanks! want me to comb for you?
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:25am
yesssss! actually, i want you to shave it all off for me but just leave "eyebrows" above my nipples, how about that homeslice?
ir0cko
   ir0cko on Mar 18 '07 at 5:27am
anything for you, foolio
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:27am
and maybe a catfish stache right above my belly button?
Bramish
   Bramish on Mar 18 '07 at 5:30am
Shame on you.

Here's a kind of related story. Kind of not...

I used to work in a toy shop. It wasn't anywhere near as fun as it sounds. One time I called in sick, and had already used most of my good excuses, so I told them I'd cut my hand pretty badly. I took two days off and when I returned I wore a bandage.

That day I was climing on to the storage roof of the warehouse, and put my hand firmly into a load of fibre glass, cutting it pretty badly.

Oh the irony!
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:35am
haha bramish, thats why i really dont want to go down the family death route because its almost as if im asking for it or puting some bad juju on one of them
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 5:38am
you could always make up a family member...or if someone in your family has already passed away...
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:43am
got it jill! how about i tell them that my uncle al had an apoplectic stroke? he regained consciousness and started to improve, but contracted pneumonia and suffered a cardiac arrest the next day (possibly associated with the complications of third-stage syphilis)

ughh, if push comes to shove, and i indeed do lose my job, can i just crash out on your couch jill?
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 5:46am
haha sure
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:47am
haha cool! ill even cuddle up with your dog if you have one
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 5:49am
no dogs, just 2 cats who are a major pain in the ass. wish i had a dog though!
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:53am
oh hey, cats are fun too, 2 pussies are better than 1 right? you really should get yourself a mutt though, i dont know what id do without the lil anklebiting pain in the mcasshole
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 5:55am
check it out, i found your cats on google



you never told me they had their own beds and everything! how dare you give me the couch
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 5:58am
haha my cats MAY look sweet and innocent like these ones...but i'll bet you anything, as soon as they saw those beds, they would be ripped to pieces
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 6:02am
aww, well they say most of the times pets resemble their owners, so i bet youre the same way, you MAY look sweet and innocent but you probably rip things to pieces, like peoples hearts or something

yeah, youre probably a heartbreaker, gah!
jillosaurus
jillosaurus on Mar 18 '07 at 6:03am
haha me? no way :]
i'm goin to bed though, let me know if you end up needing a couch :P
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 6:07am
youre totally breaking my heart here! i was just getting to know you and now youre leaving

okey dokey, im going back to bed too, leave an extra blanket and some cookies and milk for me by the couch

gooodnight jillosaurus! thanks for your help
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 6:26pm
anybody else have good ones?
abeadle
   abeadle on Mar 18 '07 at 6:43pm
that you emailed your boss or whoever....what you never got the email? Oh crap i had the worst fever i think i missed a letter in your emil name.
kissmeimshitfaced
kissmeimshitfaced on Mar 18 '07 at 6:44pm
''family emergency''

even if they do ask, you can just say somebody died/separating/divorcing/in hospital.
StopPickingOnMe
StopPickingOnMe on Mar 18 '07 at 6:44pm
Tell them you've got cancer then they will give you even more days off!
kayceislost
kayceislost on Mar 18 '07 at 7:03pm
hey natoolio, i was sick and missed all my classes thursday and friday, its like we were meant for each other or something.
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 7:22pm
abeadle, i think im just screwed! ive been stressing out about this all weekend

kayce, today i finally feel a little bit better, how are you feeling? oh, and dont ever say shit like we were meant for each other, thatll make me sick again
kayceislost
kayceislost on Mar 18 '07 at 7:22pm
:(



the doctor said what i have will have to go away on its own in a few weeks.
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 7:26pm
what are your symptoms? you should definitely go out to a club to dance and sweat the sickness out
kayceislost
kayceislost on Mar 18 '07 at 7:28pm
um no.

the cartilage between my ribs and sternum were inflamed/swollen causing my chest cavity to hurt really really bad everytime i did anything. it is the same pain as heart disease. i thought i was having mini heart attacks the whole time, and it has intensified my asthma.
foolioiglesias
foolioiglesias on Mar 18 '07 at 7:32pm
aww im sorry kayce, this is probably another reason why you dont have any friends and/or boyfriend, youve just got too many problems

ill still pretend that i love you though
plastic taxi cab?
plastic taxi cab? on Mar 18 '07 at 7:32pm
just say family issues, and if they ask, just say it's too touchy of a subject and you don't want to talk about it. they can't force you to talk about it.
kayceislost
kayceislost on Mar 18 '07 at 7:34pm
pretend?

thats it. its over.


and please note i do have friends, just not boyfriends. shut up.
kayceislost
kayceislost on Mar 18 '07 at 7:35pm
tell them you had costochondritis and it was too painful to move so you just stayed in bed all day and couldnt call anyone on the phone.
lookpolish
lookpolish on Mar 18 '07 at 8:38pm
I've yet to call in sick. My boss even gave me a perfect attendance award (= bonus!).

But, uh, how about using gastroenteritis as an excuse?

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