...it was shit, we got caught on camera.

but hey, our sub 'lighthouses...' is now on its last day, so if you haven't already visited for a gd ol' chataroo then use the link below to comment and vote!



if you've already seen it, any bumps are appreciated!

We submitted this earlier for the JOT2 comp but couldn't put all of the info on the design page. Below we've put some larger views of the images and written the story that would hopefully appear on the back of the shirt.
-Front of shirt:

-Dr. Winston:

-Burlap Lapin and little Tommy Pinklefoot:

-The story:
After expressing his dislike for stovepipe hats through the medium of dance, Burlap Lapin left the otherwise empty room in search of his sidekick ‘slash’ serving lad. He knew he was close when he noticed the churned-up shag pile by the entrance to his library, remembering the blueprints for studded boots he had to peel from his glass of orange juice that morning. Taking the corner a little to close and brushing the worn mahogany doorframe, his eyes fell upon Dr. Winston still shuffling around in his shiny new footwear. Dr. Winston was always experimenting with new ways of making himself appear taller, and this had obviously been the newest device. Still wearing the sticky onion atop his stovepipe hat from his first attempt 3 years earlier, Burlap revealed the photographic evidence he had obtained by means of a private investigator. This was unusual seeing as though Burlap was in fact the best detective in the world at that time, however, as he had expected, what was ingrained on the still hot sheets of silvered paper would have been too horrific to view in person. Having discovered that Dr. Winston’s hat covered 2 disfigured feet of forehead, he used the photos as a form of blackmail, making his sidekick fight a young boy that had been following the detective around for days.

Even though they were in the heart of summer, every morn’, little Tommy Pinklefoot would put on his hat and scarf and enter into another adventure. Like most ‘youngens’ of that time, he liked burning ants with a magnifying glass, dropping his ‘cap-bomb’ next to his ‘ma’ and ‘pa’ as if they had actually read his Christmas List and bought him that cowboy gun after all, and he hated to bathe. Not knowing any of this, Burlap had passed him off as ‘slow’ and thought he was simply lampooning his own inferior magnifying tool.

Scholars insist that the following day saw the kick start of the doctor’s training. What’s more hazy is whether their tracksuits were cyan or teal, but anyway, Burlap revealed that his uncle was in fact a professional fighter in his hey day. A three-day montage followed where his uncle, Steven ‘Mr’ Miyuke, trained the doctor to the score from rocky, (the one with the steps,) and on the morn’ of the very next day, the two fighters met.

It was crunch time, little Tommy, now nicknamed the Kittlefish Cat, was released from his cage. Instantaneously wrapping up in his scarf and hat combo, he bounced out to his corner of the ring. The doctor walked up accompanied by an ABBA medley wearing a cyan ‘slash’ teal ribbon around his hat, and a matching pair of silky shorts, with inner lining. This day would have been far from his usual routine of pondering over man’s eternal question, whether to get up and go or deal with it and wait until it dries, however, he wasn’t just fighting a young boy with a stupid name, he was fighting to keep his secret. It was only at that stage, when bringing Burlap his daily hog and apple, that he realised how manipulative the detective was.

Nevertheless, he parked the tray on Burlap’s lap and hoisted himself into the ring. At this stage he would have been so enthused with adrenaline that he could have hoisted himself anywhere, but the ring seemed appropriate. Eventually, the bell was rung and the doctor’s relentless pummelling began. Scoffing away at the apple and not paying much attention to the fight, Burlap, their only spectator, then noticed the Flute of Billcosbo in the corner. On finishing his meal, story goes that he used the flute to summon his old detective school dropout pal, Harry Sherlack, and together they reminisced about old times. In particular the summer when Harry, who was made entirely from cough sweets, was upset about losing his Swiss Army Knife. Unable to whittle himself thin after a heavy Christmas, he began to eat toilet tissue in an attempt to get thin. However, when reaching for a roll on one occasion, he lost his grip and was crushed under falling cylinder of compacted tissue fibres. Burlap had never heard this story before but he nodded along and joined in to tell his share throughout. Harry continued and told of how he was eventually rescued and nursed back to health by a passing beetle, and by the end of the story, the fight had been won. Like with the Bible, through years of translations the end has now been forgotten, however in summary the secret of the disfigured head was kept that way until this moment, and Burlap is still regarded as the best detective that ever lived.