Threadless

Cart Status
0 items
Cart Actions
view cart
Show search options
stubby43
stubby43 aka Phil is a 25.42 year old boy, has been a member since December 22, 2006, has scored 3,809 submissions, giving an average score of 2.65, helping 191 designs get printed.
URL: http://www.travellingcameraclub.com/
AIM: stubbyloves
the death of the audience, the rise of the crowd just published a blog, need help
I dont know why I always feel akward asking people to do stuff like this but I just published an article on my new blog about Change has come: Why the Inaguration of Barack Obama represents the death of the audience and the rise of the crowd

I was wondering if people could take a look, you see its the introduction for my final essay and I'm worried I've been too technical with the language, for example do I need to explain what facebook is, if I do that then do I have to explain what a social networking site is?

Anyway yeah if you could take a quick read over it you'd be helping me out a ton.

westicles
westicles on Mar 22 '09 at 9:43pm
I think you need a comma after America. In like the second sentence.
stubby43
stubby43 on Mar 22 '09 at 9:44pm
that would be a start, I'm dyslexic and dyspraxic so stuff like thats pretty difficult for me.
westicles
westicles on Mar 22 '09 at 9:44pm
Haha you're welcome.
stubby43
stubby43 on Mar 22 '09 at 9:56pm
Thank you.



I also need to get better at writing blog titles, no one seems to be that interested.
Mya Jamila
Mya Jamila on Mar 22 '09 at 11:06pm
Stubby,

Mom's on my back at the moment but I should have time tomorrow to have a look.

- Mya
squatterjohn
squatterjohn on Mar 23 '09 at 2:18am
Barack Obama is not the desecendant of slaves!!!!!!!!! You must not say that in your opening sentence. His father was an overseas student from Kenya.
squatterjohn
squatterjohn on Mar 23 '09 at 3:00am
Some spelling/usage errors:



Why was live streaming so popular? Convenience: ‘the simple fact that it happened during the say when many people were at work and closer to a computer than a television’ (LAtimes)



You mistyped "day."



the audience of this inauguration had unlimited choice and if they wanted could ignore old media all together



Should be "altogether."
squatterjohn
squatterjohn on Mar 23 '09 at 3:26am
the CTIA was activity trying to discourage people from doing activities that used substantial bandwidth



The audience was passive, unable to debate or critics’ the media it received



how we produce information and how we consume it is significantly different from the methods of the pervious generations.
squatterjohn
squatterjohn on Mar 23 '09 at 3:48am
I would put something in the introduction introducing all the websites. List all the technology you will be talking about first. Say something along the lines of " social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter" rather than introducing them later like "facebook profiles (a social networking website)" like you do.



The question I'd ask is sure we can all report the news, but does anyone actually care?



Image and video hosting by TinyPic
stubby43
stubby43 on Mar 23 '09 at 5:31am
Whoa John, thanks for the help, I'll make the changes (sorry I'm tired so I cant think straight at the moment and give you a more meaningful comment).
r.o.b.o.t.i.c.octopus
   r.o.b.o.t.i.c.octopus on Mar 23 '09 at 10:36am
dude, i was diagnosed as "dyslexic" too, but i don't really buy it. see they can't really accurately diagnose what they cannot take a biopsy of and while it took a while for me to understand maths and other "complicated" subjects... ultimately it was the schooling that was ill suited to teach their students that carried a different beat, like me. i eventually got on the deans list in college, and the only thing i did differently, was not have the teachers i did in high school.



so go figure.



i haven't read your essay yet.
You must be logged in to leave a comment.

My gallery photos

→ All of my 2 photos

All about me






Too Many Choices - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever