Profile for stubby43 - pretty sure I just did something that was a bad idea---- slight update time

stubby43 aka Phil is a 25.42 year old boy, has been a member since December 22, 2006, has scored 3,809 submissions, giving an average score of 2.65, helping 191 designs get printed.

URL: http://www.travellingcameraclub.com/
AIM: stubbyloves

Jan 25 '09 by stubby43
19 Comments
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pretty sure I just did something that was a bad idea---- slight update time

So the short version is that I met a girl whilst I was out in canada, the first trip out there (4 months) we werent close friends, the second time I came out we got closer and I started to have a crush on her, she gets a boyfriend who I end up being good friends with so my attiude is theres no point in dwelling on this because I've no idea when I'll be out in canada again and work is sucking up my entire life so I might as well move on and have a good time.

The second to last week I have in canada her boyfriend dumps her and we start getting closer again, turns out I havent moved on and my feelings for her flare up again.

but I'm going home with no idea when or how I'm coming back to canada, so the combined shes just got dumped, not close enough to be in a relationship and no idea when I'm gonna be back I'm not pursuing anything but I want to maintain a friendship so we talk on facebook.

I guess I sent a message that implied I liked her more than as a friend and she pretty much stopped talking to me.

I take the hint and dont pester her or anything like but ocassionally send her a message asking how things are going (as in two in two months) and almost nothing.

I say almost cause I commented on a photo and she replied.

so to get to the point of this ramble:

I sent her a message asking if we could start talking again.

stupid?

-----------------------------------------------

P.S I have dyslexia and dyspraxia, there usually linked to asberges syndrome and I'm pretty sure I'm slightly on that scale I can cope with friendships but anything after that well I kind of struggle.

stubby43 on Jan 25 '09 at 9:27pm

Also that wasnt that short... sorry.

Steve The Great on Jan 25 '09 at 9:29pm

well you can't undo it so you have to worry about it as little as possible, you know?

olie! on Jan 25 '09 at 9:29pm

I don't think there's anything wrong or stupid with what you did.

If she doesn't reply to you after that, I would just assume she doesn't want to talk to you anymore for whatever reason. . . but heck I'm no expert on relationships so I'm probably not the best person to ask.

ofthecoast on Jan 25 '09 at 9:29pm

nah, not a bad idea. you had to try, right?

mooseinmyshoe on Jan 25 '09 at 9:33pm

It's only stupid if you let dwelling on it bother you.

It's good to let people know where you stand with them. It's dumb when someone lets you know how they feel and you don't get back to them on it.

She's dumb if she doesn't reply.

stubby43 on Jan 25 '09 at 9:35pm

I'd just feel better if there was a clear cut answer, I mean is it because I'm over 3000 miles away and no idea when I'll be back or is it because shes not attracted to me.

I was aiming to be back in september but theres litterally no jobs availble at the moment which means I cant afford the plane ticket or the deposit on a flat.

I've been trying to enjoy myself back in the UK and not worry about canada but the truth is I dont want to be here.

Also I had half a bottle of whiskey.

olie! on Jan 25 '09 at 9:36pm

it really sucks but oftentimes there just aren't clear cut answers to this kinda stuff

stubby43 on Jan 25 '09 at 9:36pm

p.s thanks everyone, I've been doing this type of blog alot lately and its something i've been trying to stop because I'm basically dumping on you which isnt fair.

mooseinmyshoe on Jan 25 '09 at 9:38pm

Hey.

You should stay in the UK.

'Cause I'm going to Westminster in the fall

stubby43 on Jan 25 '09 at 9:41pm

Moose, I will more than likely still be in the UK in th autum so i will make the trip down to london town if your up for a meet up.

I should probably meet the british threadlessers, I havent gotten round to it yet.

mooseinmyshoe on Jan 25 '09 at 9:45pm

Holla! That'd be tight! I'm doing my semester abroad there...I'm still not sure why...

stubby43 on Jan 25 '09 at 9:50pm

serrious? ok you need to come up north, i would be pretty useless taking you around london because i've been once (well once properly the only other times were to the airport), I can take you to manchester, liverpool, york and scotland.

p.s study abroad was the best thing I've ever done in my entire life, the problem is making it permenant.

mooseinmyshoe on Jan 25 '09 at 10:03pm

That's OK, I'm actually not that fond of London (hence why I'm not sure why I'm going), but I've never been north of it. I usually just hang around Elham and Kent, so going north would be awesome!

Mya Jamila on Jan 25 '09 at 11:31pm

I can't be of any help. Sorry. :(

But on another note, Sarah Moose, I'm so envious of you.

I would love to back in England and have the option of meeting Phil.

squatterjohn on Jan 26 '09 at 9:00am

I don't know, I'm crazy, don't follow any of my advice, because it always ends badly for me.

But at any rate, I try to be upfront with people about how I feel. I put things on the line, go for all or nothing. If I like a girl, I'll tell her. I'm of the opinion that you have to try, you may find she feels the same way and you might never find that out if you hold back and worry over what might happen if she doesn't. If she says she only wants to be friends after, it uusually works well, I can put those romantic feelings out of my head. If she doesn't want to be friends at all, I do get pretty upset, but in the end I think it's better not to be friends at all, than to be pretending you only feel friendship for her when really you feel romance.

Hopefully, if she wants to talk again that's good and she should tell you how she feels about what you said and what she wants.

stubby43 on Jan 26 '09 at 5:28pm

John I dunno, if I were in canada it would be different I'd be direct about it but its the distance thing and the amount of time we'd have to wait.

but on the other hand I sort of feel maybe if I put it out there we can work something out, say she does think maybe somethings possible but we agree not to let it take over our lives we just sort of carry on whilst were over here then try it out when I'm back.

As of right now she hasnt gotten back to me so its kind of a pointless discussion.

----

Mya, I'm sure we'll get to meet eventually.

Sarah you needed to come up north, its alot better than down south, being down south is crap... I'd assume.

3 days later

stubby43 on Jan 29 '09 at 7:54pm

Ok slight update time, were talking again which is good but un expectedly I kind of feel lousy about it, she said she wasnt avoiding me even though its pretty obvious she was.

I am confuseld.

mooseinmyshoe on Jan 30 '09 at 2:28am

WHATREWVER I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW THINGS WILL GO RIGHT FOR YOU.

No matter what, don;t; let yourself get down, please. You're yoo good for that.

stubby43 on Jan 30 '09 at 8:13pm

Sarah... your awesome.

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