Are you writing this as a screenplay? If so, then it's perfectly fine to describe things exactly as they occur... that's what people would be looking for when they read it.

he looks at his watch and the timers almost run out (theres about a minute left), he presses a button on his watch, he presses a button on it he pushed a button twice.



How about setting the time of day. What exact type of building it is. How close to the side of the building does he fall? How many stories is the building, what else is on the roof, how is he dressed?

It does read very much like someone describing comic book panels for me.



Sensory images - the weather, the sky, the smells, the wind - sounds of it and the like.



sound of when he presses the button.



discriptions of the man, the weather, etc.



colors, textures, in a novel you need to engage all the senses.

Well, if this was like a comic book/graphic novel, you could just go the Alan Moore route and describe every single millimeter of every single panel in ridiculous detail.



But for a screenplay, pretty much what everyone else has suggested.

I think one of the biggest problems I'm facing is that I dont really read stories or novels, I tend to read history books and because they deal in facts its all this happened which caused this to happen and he said that which adds to my point.



The thing is I want to write it as a story, writing it as a script feels like it would be even harder even though I imagine it as a movie.



I'll explain the story in a highly a bridged fashion:



time travelers live amoungst us, their job is to protectthe time line and make sure it happens as its supposed to but then one day a two temporal agents and a civilian (a girl the hero is in love with but its forbidden) are sent back to the american civil war they meet up with other temporal agents who send them back to the our present day but are sent back again and discover that the temproal agent in this period has gone rogue.



She plans to end the civil war with a confederacy vitcory splitting the USA in two, she belives doing this will make a strong world that will go into the galaxy become the dominant power instead of what actually happened an earth empire sandwhiched between three hyper powers in the midst of a cold war (if the cold war heats up the battle ground will be human territory).



She sends a book containing all the info the conferate army will need to defeat the union in one battle. She has one chance to change the future significantly so it becomes a chase across the nation to retrive the book and preventing the future being changed forever.

I imagine it having a pirates of the carribbean feel to it, alot of action, alot of fun but with serrious moments.

Then I suggest you go and read books like that that deal with time travel to get a feel for it!

One option would be for you to read some stories; Timeline by Michael Chrichton deals in the time travel thing but I found it pretty boring to be honest (and the movie was horrible)... That would help you make it so that non-history buffs aren't bored to tears.



Also the monster thing in your first post seems pretty illogical; I thought this was about the Civil war era? Were there monsters back then?

What V1ctorya said, basically.

Well theres kind of two halfs to this story, what I described was the first level of the story the over all plot but then theres the sub stories going on underneath.



The under lieing story is Willis and Hikari's, they both love each other but have to hide it each for their own reasons. Willis is a time traveler he cant be with her for fear of changing the time line but Hikari's reasons are a bit different.



Although shes from the period shes actually an alien raised by humans but she doesnt know shes an alien or atleast she hasnt for most of her life. Recently wings have been growing out of her back (very painful) Hikari isnt sure if shes x men or ET but she knows she has to hide it for fear of what will happen to her.



Its kind of complicated to explain how the monsters fit in, I'm only half kind of certain myself at the moment but Hikari's story is the struggle between good and evil (in herself and external powers), the monsters are kind of the embodiement of these internal demons.



I have the story fairly strongly worked out in my mind but its a question of filling in the details.



One of the things I do know for deffient is that in my story time travel is hard when a time traveler goes into the past their usually there for years at a time I think the greatest time travel stories are the ones where time travel is a means to an end to take them to an amazing adventure.



Like back to the future or the time machine.

I've tried to write about time travel, in a short little book thing...



problem is, I need things to make sense in my mind so it can be plausible and I can write about it.

Oddly enough, I have a waaaayyy easy time writing about dragons and faeries, and will never try to write about time travel again

You should write about time traveling fairies and dragons.



I'm trying to write this story and I have it all ultra clear in my mind but I'm dyslexic and dyspraxic which basically means I find it very difficult to write what I'm thinking but if I dont try and write this then I'm just hiding away and this story is an idea I've had for three years, ok so its not been in this form for all of that time this is the biggest amount of progress I've made into getting the story into something people would actually want to read/watch but I dont want to be one of those people nursing a pet project for the rest of their lives.

But yeah time travels tough to write, I think part of the problem is just knowing your history, if you dont understand whats going on in the period your writing about then your sending your characters into something you dont understand, then on top of that theres paradoxes to consider and how time travel works.



Its easier to write fantasy because you have complete control over the world your creating where as time travel it has to follow some rules.

You should write about time traveling fairies and dragons.





I tried, failed miserably unless the only explination was it was part of their powers hat they were born with, kinda like doctor who.

She ended up travelling through space instead, but the way I described it people would argue she was wrinkling time, not space... but whatever.



whats dyspraxic?

There's always one of those speach recognition programs, or hiring a ghostwriter to dictate too.

ghostwriters are an amazing help

that sounds interesting tess, not really sure I understand what wrinkling time is but still.



Dysprxia, well um explaining it is kind of difficult because thats kind of what my disability is, but the bbc are always here to help:



"Usually, it's said to be an impairment or immaturity of the organisation of movement, but associated with this may be problems of language, perception and thought.



Problems arise in the process of forming ideas, motor planning and execution, since people with dyspraxia have poor understanding of the messages their senses convey and difficulty relating those messages to actions.



This means physical activities are hard to learn, difficult to retain, and hesitant and awkward in performance. "

Lets see if I can remember how to explain it... imagine time is a piece of paper, and you fold that piece of paper in half, wrinkling time is doing just that, it folds the time frame to jump from time and space so you can travel easier to it.

Or something like that, my mind literally gets a headache when I try to think of time as something else than numbers on a watch.



Weird, I've never heard of that condition, however from all your blogs and post i wouldn't think you were dyslexic nor dyspraxic

Right got it, i think yeah that sounds pretty complex but then that type of science usually is.



As for my condition I really only have both mildly though I'd say the dyspraxia is more prevelant. I'm clumbsy and when it comes to writing essays I tend to get low grades no matter how hard I work on them. What I think I'm writing doesnt really match up with what I've written.



Its kind of frustrating because I feel I should be getting top grades but I barely pass.